Entering the workforce with social anxiety

[wakeupdawn]

I have severe social anxiety.

I'm 24 and just finished a Bachelors degree and I'm looking very hard for a job. In the past three months I have applied for positions that were relevant to my study, as well as positions that I think I can do, from jobs at McDonalds to office work and even work at home jobs. So far I've gotten one reply and one phone interview which I didn't do well in because I am still unemployed. The phone interview was terrible, I just felt like I was so fake and nervous, it was horrible.

So now I'm still searching and every day I feel like my chance of getting a job and being a real adult is getting less and less. Every single job wants someone who can communicate well, be good with people, even the jobs that don't require experience need these skills. I just don't know what to do anymore I feel absolutely useless and genuinely think I won't ever get a job, ANY job. I'm stressed out of my mind, my parents think I'm a failure, I'm terrified of going to Christmas cause I don't want to explain to everyone why I don't have a job, why I'm the only person out of the whole family that can't get one.

I can't go out of the house by myself, I can't go and buy milk without getting extremely anxious, I can't talk to people at all, face to face, or on the phone. I live in a share house and I can't even go out into the kitchen and make food when I know people are there. I feel like it is destroying my life. How am I ever supposed to get any kind of job if I can't even talk to people? How am I supposed to do well in an interview ever??

People just tell me, "Oh once you do it it'll be fine" but I've never had a good interview experience. I even got a job once through a friend, working at Dick Smith and after the first day I came home and sat in the shower and cried. That happened every day I worked and I only lasted a week before I had to quit, not just for my mental health but they would have fired me eventually - can't have someone like me in a sales position.

So now I'm lost and confused. I should probably get help for my anxiety but I don't know where to start or if it will even do anything, that's if I can even afford it. I don't know if anyone can help me on here but I thought if I wrote this all down I would feel a bit better about it all but honestly I think it just made me feel worse.

[SubduedBlues]

WakeUpDawn

Welcome to BB, though you have a lot of questions in your opening post, and I commend you for finding the courage to write them all out. Where we'll try and address them here for you, it is also good practice to limit each thread to single topic (you can have many topic threads going concurrently). But, I'll try to address them herein.

Firstly it can be quite difficult for most people to perform well in an interview (even those of us who do not have anxiety). Most hiring managers are well aware that most people having difficulty speaking well of themselves; thus we tend to focus on what you have on your CV and try to draw information from you through various questions.

I've been in the workforce for nearly 30 years, and I still hate interviewing; I am alwasy afraid that I will say the wrong thing. I've even been so anxious that I couldn't instantly recall my own name. Also, I have Tourette's Syndrome so my body makes all these spastic tics as the wrong time; and yet because I am aware of this, and I let the HR people know about my issue aforehand, it is overlooked and the interview is about my abilities instead of my limitations.

But there is help for you if you are willing to get it. I recommend that you contact employment agencies; let them know that you have little to no experience in being interviewed and would like their assistance thereto. They will interview you to find out how they can sell your skills to their clients, but this is also good practice and an opportunity to ask how would be good to answer that question.

Insofar as getting help for your anxiety, have a chat with your doctor. There are a range of therapies available; CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), meds, diet, psychologists, etc.

Keep posting and help guide the topic so that we give you the best answers possible

SB

[Girlbond_007]

Hi Wakeupdawn,

Firstly going to give you a huge thumbs up for getting on here and letting us hear your story. Well done.

I can only imagine how difficult it must feel to have worked so hard for your degree only to feel that you are letting yourself down in terms of obtaining a job.

Have your parents actually said they are disappointed with you? I only ask because with my anxiety I tend to "assume" what people are thinking of me. We as anxiety sufferers often also don't like letting people down and also seek to have a negative scene on how we view things from time to time. My psychologist reminds me that we cannot read each other's thoughts and in actual fact we don't know what they are thinking.

I would definitely suggest seeing a GP and advising them how you feel and ask for a mental health plan referral to see a psychologist for some counselling. You can get help at little to no cost under this scheme. Having counselling will give you the tools you need to cope with your anxiety. A good psychologist will often advise if they recommend any medication.

i can tell you since starting medication I can actually think clearer. It has slowed down my anxiety so that I can cope and feel confident.

it is also a tough time of year to look for work. Speaking from experience and the fact I do the advertising for people at my employment. You will find that the job market will be slow until probably February. Keep looking and don't give up hope though. The next month or so get your self sorted out and on a path you can travel at your own pace. Not the unrealistic expectations of others.

Once you seek help you will feel better in yourself. Everything will fall into place just get yourself well first.

take care

[Pixie15]

Hello wakeupdawn,

Just had a couple of thoughts when I read your post. The university I am attending has a careers service which is available to graduates for a couple of years. I am wondering if you have something similar if you could get some help through there.

Also it is not a good time of the year to be job hunting. So please don't be disheartened.