Needing to vent a little...

[talisnow]

I'm sitting in bed with my laptop, it's 1:25am and I have work early tomorrow morning, but I can't sleep. I just spent the last two hours pacing my room, going over things, and talking to myself. I felt fine like that. Nothing felt wrong.

Until I realized what I was doing. Now I'm crying and upset with myself.

I feel defective. Like this is never going to end. Like I'm always going to be doing these not normal things. Even when I think I'm fine.

I just want quiet. I want my head to be quiet. Just for like an hour. I want to be normal. I want to be like everyone else.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey talisnow,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out to us.

It sounds like there's a lot going on for you right now although I'm not entirely sure what that is from reading your post.

I can relate to the idea of wanting our brains to be quiet and feel normal; but from experience I know that there really is no 'normal'. I often thought that I wanted to be like anyone else, but we are all kind of dealing with our own stuff in different ways.

How can we best help you on the forums; do you want to talk more about what's going on or have you talked to anyone about this before?

[Zeal]

Hi talisnow,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling vulnerable emotionally and are having difficulty sleeping. I've had insomnia in the past, and lately my sleeping patterns have been haphazard. However, the distress you are experiencing doesn't more than insomnia. If you don't mind me asking, have you had a mental health condition before, such as anxiety?

Like Romanticthief said, you can talk more about what led to you feeling this way. This will help us understand more about you and your situation, and hopefully we can offer advice.

Best wishes,

Zeal

[BballJ]

Hi talisnow,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Ahh the old overthinking anxiety... drives me crazy, I, to can ponder things for hours on end and worry myself silly. What's your situation with trying to recover from this anxiety, are you seeing a psychologist, are you seeing a GP, are you speaking to anyone at all, even a friend or family member?

Do you practice any mindfullness or anything along those lines to help with the anxiety?

My best for you,

Jay