Hi all, i have been in a happy and loving relationship for the past 2.5 years.
Never before have i had doubts...in fact i have always thought i have found the one.
Ive been in a long term relationship before and in that i knew deep down he wasnt the one.
The last 4 months of my current relationship i have been experiencing anxiety for the first time.
Its only now ive realised that i have probably always had that anxious tendency. Always worrying, incredibly indecisive and a perfectionist. There has been some stressors including my partners lack of work but our relationship has always been strong. I trust him 100% and he is been an amazing support. I can talk to him about everything.
I dont know where these doubts have stemmed from but they have caused so much distress for me!
Thoughts like... do i really LOVE him? Are we ment to be together? Do i want to be single? I feel now these doubts have a hold and constantly popping up in my day to day life!
I 100% see a future with him (and feel i want that!) but why do these doubts keep arising?
Is this normal? I feel occassional doubts are normal but when they are so constant its horrible. They sometimes prevent me from feeling 100% happy when im with him and any little thing wrong i get irritable and frustrated
When i look at him i think gosh im lucky, i dont want to be without you! And occassionally i just get annoyed at him for no reason. I have been unhappy in myself lately in my career, life direction etc just feeling generally lost. Thats where it all started to be honest. I keep having negative dreams too. Please help shed some light! I want to overcome this.
Continued...
We recently went on a overseas holiday together which was great! However i had ruminating thoughts and doubts a lot of the time which was awful. We have talked about everything which is great and he is standing by me through this all as he thinks it is anxiety. The first couple of months it was horrible..i had to take stress leave off work (i initially thought it was my job as i have had a lot of career doubts..i also work in a stressful emergency department). I cried almost everyday and had palpitations..feeling constantly on edge. I have been practising meditation over the past month and although the symptoms and thoughts have subsided they are still there somewhat. Some days are worse than others.i thought i was getting better last week where i had a few days on my own and then when we saw each other again it was great for 2 days or so! Then the thoughts started again.
Advice please!! Thankyou
Hi JS17 its so easy to sabotage things, I'm great at it also, just remember they are thoughts only. Sounds like some good old fashioned CBT may help here. None of us are perfect and those including without Mental Health issues, but he sounds good overall. Sometimes its just trying not to think to much, overthinking ! i swear our brains never stop sometimes, if i could half that energy physically.
Thanks so much for your reply scotty2013! Its not easy...i feel like each day is spent trying not to think too much. I find it hard not to take my thoughts so seriously...i keep thinking if they are there in the first place maybe they are there for a reason! But i desperately want them to mean nothing. Just got to keep pushing. Maybe CBT would be worth it.
