Orangeicy,
Thank you for opening up to us on the forums, we really appreciate you taking the time to come to us for support. Welcome, we're happy to have you here. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, and your feelings are valid and justified.
I really thought that when people grow up they "grow up"
This line deeply resonated with me. As somebody who is freshly into adulthood, I've seen this happen time and time again already. I'm constantly trying to better myself, be it working on my flaws, furthering my career, fostering my interpersonal relationships, or spending time being in my own company. For me, learning how to mature and "grow" has always been a big part of who I am, and I struggle to relate to people who do not share this mindset.
I know it's a lot easier said than done, but sometimes it's better to find new people who we connect with more deeply and can genuinely rely on, than to surround yourself with people who consistently hurt you. This can be difficult, especially if you're in an environment where you see them regularly.
Are there any local clubs, groups, or even part-time work opportunities that you could see yourself becoming part of? These are all great ways to immerse yourself in a crowd of like-minded individuals who you can connect with. Part-time work in particular can be a good way to meet people who are a little more mature and understanding.
Even online friends from places like Discord or Reddit can be great sources of friendship and support, provided this is done in a safe and cautious manner. There's also no real-life obligation to them, so you'll often find that the quality and type of friendships you make can be a refreshing alternative or accompaniment to physical friendships.
If you'd feel comfortable, there's also the option of speaking to a GP, therapist, or psychologist about how you're feeling. Sometimes, professional advice can be really helpful.
I hope this is helpful advice, and please feel free to reach out more if you need.
Take care, SB
