Day to day struggles

[YellowPoppy]

Hi again,

Aside from my triggered anxiety, I feel a constant unease. It's so hard to be happy or even present in the moment because I feel this dread underneath the surface. I'm trying not to dwell but I don't feel anything else, just panic and dread.

The only thing that seems to bring me any relief is playing uno with my mum and/or my partner, but even then, the fun is clouded in this darkness.

I don't know if anyone can relate and if not well maybe someone else will find relief in playing uno.

Thanks for reading,

YellowPoppy

[YellowPoppy]

Update: I have my first pysch appointment wednesday

[Ggrand]

That’s so good to hear that your first appointment with your psych will be the day after tomorrow....That’s not to far away...

Oh how lovely another fur mummy...Lola that’s a lovely name..I have 2 fur children..Kyla (mum)...Ebony (daughter)..I had dad as well..but unfortunately I had to find him anothervforever home..(reasons)....I’m sorry you feel triggered by your Lola.....Our pets have an unconditional love for us....which is so precious, and I believe that they can pick up on our moods and understand our emotions....I live alone and my two dogs are my reasons to get up of a morning...

I really don’t fully understand health anxiety but I do know that it would feel so real and scarey, I wish I understood more so I may be able to help you more....I feel just chatting is a very good distraction for us to help our anxiety disappear for a little while....

I live in a tiny isolated village in the central west of nsw..Not many people in my village under 200..Drs, shops, services are just over 30 kms from me,,,but that a small country town, no clothes, shoes, department stores, etc, just basic shops for food...It’s 70 kilometre to a city town with those amenities....I’m fairly isolated here...Our psych left at Christmas and no one wants to work in the country town...it’s hard without a psych...I feel sorry for my gp I Sometimes offload onto her.....

Im pleased that you can write it down..,it takes a lot of courage to do that...Well done..

Do you have any plans for tomorrow at all to keep you busy?...

Here for you YP...if you feel to talk..

kind thoughts and hugs...if you’re a hugger..🤗..

Grandy

[YellowPoppy]

Hi Grandy,

I don't think I have health anxiety. My fixation at the moment is about losing my mum (in 30/40 yrs) and that then I'll be alone. I have other family and I have a partner but right now I don't feel close to anyone except my mum.

I have to write up a back history for my psychologist because I can't speak about it right now.

I guess this is so severe because this isn't an irrational fear, everyone dies, so it's harder to get passed

YellowPoppy

[Ggrand]

Hi YellowPoppy,

I really don’t know what to say to help you..but I’m here to listen and try to support you...You sound such a caring and beautiful person YellowPoppy.🤗..

I think that worrying about your mother is taking away a lot of your enjoyment you are having being with her..Do you feel worried when your with her or is it when you are apart..

Have you spoken to your mum about your fears for her? ...

I had sort of the same fear when my children were away from me..at friends places, riding their bikes etc....when they got home the relief I felt was unreal....I think we all hold this fear in us for others...and it’s hard to dismiss these feelings..I’m just wondering if something triggered these feeling inside you..only answer If you feel want to..there’s no pressure here at all...

Thats a good idea to write out a back history for you psych..Please if you can also write out your present thoughts and fears....it makes it easier for us...it did for me...I hope it will for you as well...

Not much longer to go...until Wednesday....

Kind thoughts..🤗.

Grandy...

[YellowPoppy]

Hi Grandy,

It's an on going gear that comes in panic attacks throughout the day.
My mum is a big part of the process which sometimes makes it worse cause I start to think 'what would happen if she weren't here' I haven't left her side since Easter.

It's okay, I'm jot expecting anyone to fix me on this forum, I just didn't have anyone else to talk to. And felt like I needed to find someone who could relate, even if it's just a little bit.

I know that this worry is taking away from my present life but it is so extensive that I can't manage it on my own.

And on top of all this I feel like my relationship with my partner is suffering. And I know he is so supportive and understanding but I can't communicate with him at the moment. And iv told him that. He also knows my user name on here and I told him he can read my posts to gain an understanding of what I'm experiencing

[YellowPoppy]

Hi I'm struggling with my emotions right now.

I can't distinguish how I feel about other people. And I keep telling myself not to put pressure on myself and that I need to take my time to figure out what going on. But I get so frustrated with it. Because I don't know how I feel and if I don't know how I feel how am I meant to sort anything out emotionally.

YP

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

How did your psych appointment go? Have you got another one coming up? Hopefully you can work on some techniques together that help get things a bit under control for you. I think I understand what you're saying about not knowing how you feel. I often think I don't "know" anything and that nothing makes sense. This is usually a peak anxiety period and it dissipates somewhat. Sometimes I have great clarity but it never lasts. I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been using meditation today (an app) to calm my mind. It's helped a bit. Perhaps that's something you could try?

[YellowPoppy]

Hi,

I have three appointments booked. It went well, I almost bolted when I first got in, but mum was able to calm me down and the pysch was really understanding and I was able to talk to her. I am keen to go again. And I really think it helped. I had been waiting for about a month to see her so there was allot of build up and I think finally seeing her helped dissipate some of my anxiety, mainly the panic attacks, but I still struggle day to day.
Ive tried using apps for meditation or grounding exercises and I find that they don't help me much. Thankfully I have a good support network which gets me through the tough times. Don't know what I'd do without them.

Thanks for posting!

YP