Cause of Stress

[Jasperw]

1. Commonality or Individuality? How can you find what makes you different from everybody else (individuality) without first checking to see what other people have? (commonality). What is the common cause of stress?

2. Stress not caused by the events you encounter, but by your mind's interpretation of that event. It is caused by what you think the event means. Your thoughts, opinions and beliefs about the event. What thoughts (i.e. worries) are common to people with psychological stress?

3. Society's philosophy of "If you are good, you will get" sets up the subconscious mind to believe that you need to live up to particular criteria in order to prove that you are worthy of receiving your needs for development. This sets up the following chain: Fail to achieve criteria=nothing to offer=no value=no approval= MISS OUT on requirements for development (what you need for your life to progress)= die (to the subconscious). So what is development? What do you need? Can you miss out on it?

4. There are two different models for measuring personal development. The first is the "achievement model", where they say "measure yourself by your achievements". In this model, people gauge their development and self-worth by the level of control they have over life. The more accurate model is the "wisdom model", where it is understood that all events you encounter provide growth in understanding the reality of what is occurring in life. We can't miss out out our development. All events are food for thought, whether they go the way you want them to or not. This does not mean you stop having goals, but rather do not measure your life by whether you achieve them.

5. The concept of "Free Will" is incorrect. (defined as "that person had free will and could have simply have chosen to have acted differently at that moment regardless of their beliefs. They are not being governed.) Can you choose what you believe? (Think of something you do not currently believe. Try "the earth is flat". Now choose to believe it. Can you?) Can you choose how you act? (Think of something you would not do no matter what. Now choose to do that action. Can you?). "I do not want to do that acton" is not a valid response, as we are not talking about whether or not you can follow my demands, but whether you can use your power of choice to do something, when your beliefs (your wants) are governing you and preventing you from doing the action. Can you choose to do that action you do not want to do?

[Zeal]

Hi Jasper,

Wow, you are a very deep and philosophical thinker! Do you read about philosophy or psychology in your free time?

I study psychology, and it is the field I find most interesting 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[Starwolf]

Hi Jasper, welcome to these forums.

I agree that all events in Life are neutral. It is indeed our slant on them that qualifies them as positive, negative and everything else in between.

It is true that the system we live in programs/conditions us to think/live in a certain way. True again that it is geared so that "failure" to conform creates stress. The system has its own agenda and its aim is mostly to thrive. I don't believe general welfare is its first priority.

So we come to the important notion of beliefs and opinions. More important... our ability and willingness to question them. Most people find it easier to go along, although many of those beliefs were acquired from previous generations living a different reality and from dubious sources, all with different agendas. They are prone to eventual change and mostly depend on culture, religion, where and when we were born and developed our "identity". But they're often taken at face value and held on to for dear life as being the only valid option. Change represents the unknown. The unknown is scary.

But we do have a choice, although it is carefully made difficult by whatever system we happen to live under. We can question what has been imposed on us, give it our tick of approval or reject it...regardless of tough consequences (material deprivation, social isolation etc..). It requires denial of all we have been taught, wiping the mental/emotional slate clean and starting afresh with a cleared mind, therefore a clear view. A tough call. Or we can make "acceptable" compromises.

We can make this difficult choice of carefully, unbiasedly looking at things the way they are, not the way they're presented to us. We can focus on improvement at all levels within ourselves and our own small sphere of influence. We can try to promote awareness of what is REALLY going on. While being prepared for the fact that the majority of people will not want to know...and that we must tread carefully. As individuals, we can have general welfare at heart and make it one of our priorities, while accepting our own limits and learning to work efficiently within those imposed by society.

[Jasperw]

Hi SM,

Haha I guess so! The stuff I posted above is a small fraction of the information I discovered from reading Greg Neville's books, audio program and also personal consultations with him and one of the therapists he has trained. It's really quite fascinating stuff and has helped me a lot in life. Psychology is interesting! I'm thinking of doing a degree in it at some point!

If your interested in the information try searching "Greg Neville Depression Rescue" on google.

All the best 🙂

Jasper

[Jasperw]

Hi Starwolf,

Whether or not we question our beliefs I would argue doesn't have anything to do with our ability to do so, but rather our beliefs on whether the questioning needs to take place. When I say that "free will" doesn't exist, this doesn't mean I'm saying that people can't change. But change doesn't take place by "choosing to change", but rather when we receive information from our environment that alters our understandings. We can think that the "If you are good, you'll get" philosophy towards life is accurate, and then because of all the life experiences we go through (information from our environment), and all the stress we feel, we can then start to believe such an understanding to be in need of questioning. We grow from our environment, from the data that we receive everyday that adds up into bigger understandings and slowly alters our understanding of what it is that is taking place in life. Life develops us, in an automatic process. So no one can miss out on anything they were meant to recieve. When I say "meant to", I mean that life will unfold the only way it is going to unfold, due to all the factors that play a role in how and why it unfold the way that it does. This doesn't mean you're condoning anyone's poor actions, which are usually the result of someone believing they have free will and are missing out and feel their value is on the line and that they have to take from someone else.

Here's a thought. If free will existed, why would we ever ask a child why they acted a certain way? When we ask "why did you do that?" we are trying to get to the bottom of the factor that governed the child's action's and would need to be changed before the child could ever be expected to act differently. We are looking for the child's beliefs which were in turn controlling their actions. The word decision really means "what is your response going to be due to your beliefs?"

Anyway I hope this has been an interesting discussion, If you would like to hear more of this sort of information try googling "Greg Neville Depression Rescue'.

All the best 🙂

Jasper

[Starwolf]

Thanks for your feedback...although I don't think our views contradict each other. Many of my posts here are in response to overwhelming feelings of guilt for being/doing this or that. My reply is invariably that we always do the only thing we can at any given time, that we can only react according to out inner resources at the time. Wanting to attempt otherwise is like trying to win a card game when we've been dealt an inadequate hand.

But people can choose to give their reactions thoughtful consideration when a different point of view is offered. Some do, some don't and this choice makes all the difference.

Have a good week-end.