Hi, welcome
In the security industry for many years with shift work I know what you are going through as my partner at the time complained.
I didnt handle shifts well and had many less friends visit because they werent aware if I was awake, at work or other. Even a roster was frequently changed.
So I assume this less than stable way of living is taking its toll on you. Fair call. Firstly you are both spending less time with each other and when you do there's the risk of moodiness on your partners behalf due to lack of sleep or exhaustion. Frankly, your lives live around the shifts, not an ideal way to live.
I can only suggest you ask them to find a day job or if in the financial position, go part time. The other thing is your anxiety, see your GP and chat about that and read the link below, I hope it helps
https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873
https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/a-good-nights-deep-sleep-sleep-apnea-and-cpap/td-p/...
TonyWK
