Hi Leroymiss1,
I'm really sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. I feel as though I know what you mean with "everything seems to cause it". I think when you get to that super frazzled state, you need to take a strategic step back. Remove as much pressure as possible - e.g. if cooking is a trigger, just prepare the simplest possible meals that still cover nutritional bases (e.g. toasted sandwiches), don't try to cook complex meals. As Beeee says, if driving is a trigger, avoid driving for a while. Try to simplify your life as much as possible - e.g. if food shopping is a strain, the supermarkets deliver to most places now for an extra 10 bucks, and you can save lists of regular items etc - it's a lifesaver for me as I find supermarkets super stressful.
Sometimes taking a step back can feel like a surrender, or like "letting the anxiety win" or something, but I think it's more a tactical retreat. Avoiding the biggest triggers temporarily doesn't mean avoiding them forever. You can still set little goals to push yourself towards, but when you get to that really frazzled state, I think you have to be careful to set really small, achievable goals, so they don't contribute more pressure, stress and anxiety, and that you suceed at these little goals often enough to get that positive reinforcement. E.g. if driving is a major trigger, you could perhaps resolve to each day walk a small part of the route you usually drive, then walk back home. If you cycle, you could perhaps resolve to cycle part of the route, then cycle back home. If after a few days/weeks you feel more confident, you could resolve to drive out the driveway and perhaps down the street a little, then back home. If the anxiety is managable, you can then try driving longer distances. When you succeed at one of these little mini-goals, write it down and celebrate it. Even though they may seem trivial accomplishments to an outsider, when you're in that super anxious/depressed place, each little step requires huge will-power, and is a major achievement.
Breaking everything down into tiny, tiny, little pieces like this, and working on them slowly, in a way that is compassionate and generous toward yourself, is I think a way to both accept where you're currently at, but also fight back against the anxiety and depression. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend 🙂
