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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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s_lydia Health Anxiety
  • replies: 3

Hey, well I never thought I'd see the day I'd ever share this but for years I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attack disorder, but lately it's turned into bad health anxiety or hypochondria. The slightest ache or pain will have me spiralling f... View more

Hey, well I never thought I'd see the day I'd ever share this but for years I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attack disorder, but lately it's turned into bad health anxiety or hypochondria. The slightest ache or pain will have me spiralling for hours, sometimes even going to the ER. I'm on medication (valium) but even that doesn't calm me down anymore, I feel like there's no winning. It's 4 am and I'm still up because I have a sore tooth and I'm now convinced my teeth are going to fall out, so I stopped eating. Being in lockdown has made my anxiety issues a million times worse, and I can't even have a friend or family member comfort me. I don't know what to do.

TheJackalRipper Stressed out from work and I want switch career
  • replies: 6

Hey guys, I'm currently working as a graduate accounts payable officer at an ASX-listed company where my main responsibilities involved processing hundreds of invoices and processing payments for the company's operating expenses. I was easily overwhe... View more

Hey guys, I'm currently working as a graduate accounts payable officer at an ASX-listed company where my main responsibilities involved processing hundreds of invoices and processing payments for the company's operating expenses. I was easily overwhelmed by the workload and I feel like I can't completed it within the deadline. I became so stressed out to the point where I just don't care if got laid off due to poor performance. Also, I'm starting to dislike my work not only because my role is too stressful but I hated working in the office job even though I was working from home due to the pandemic. However, there were some aspect of the job that I found rewarding which was the sense of achievement but I kind of dismiss that. I was thinking about switching career but I don't know which one that is suitable and interesting for me. I am struggling to find purpose in my life. I also have an accounting degree because I thought that I enjoy working in the office but after experiencing that, I am not keen to work in the office. I prefer a career that involved traveling around but with the pandemic going on, I think it was best just to wait it out. Thank you for reading my post and I appreciate any advice that you give me.

The_Bro A BOSS WHO IS A BULLY AND DEMEANING
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone When the Queensland premier was in Tokyo to present for the 2032 Olympics recently, some of you may have seen the footage of John Coates 'ordering' the Premier to attend the opening ceremony. His words and demeanor were widely criticised ... View more

Hi everyone When the Queensland premier was in Tokyo to present for the 2032 Olympics recently, some of you may have seen the footage of John Coates 'ordering' the Premier to attend the opening ceremony. His words and demeanor were widely criticised as bullying by the media. Your could see on her face the anxiety it caused the Premier. I thought I would share a passage of my life where I had a boss who caused me a good deal of anxiety for several months. My job involved regular presentations to prospects and clients where solutions to their business issues were tabled. I was going pretty well with a good success rate. The company was run by a person who was creative, energetic and persuasive - but who displayed little empathy to staff. Twice in a row in meetings I was running, he completely overran my recommendations, presented his own concepts without warning, and as a result created a confused client. His ideas were fine, but the point is the disregard for my presentation, no warning, and no apologies on his part were brutal. After the second time this happened, the client rang me and asked what was going on. He liked my ideas, also likes my boss's ideas, but wanted to know why he rubbished my work in front of a client. Of course this was already causing me some anxiety, and only added to it, as my work demanded a certain level of confidence that I was finding difficult to maintain. So I thought long and hard, prepared carefully, and went to see my boss. I asked if my work was contributing to the business and received a big 'Yes'. I then said I could contribute more, loved my work, respected his ability, but was not happy about being overruled with no warning in presentations. Then I held my breath as he was a known bully. To my relief he immediately said 'You know what I like - that you are strong and told told me how you feel. I will see if I can moderate a little and also let you know in advance if I want to change your ideas'. BINGO! Yes a weight was lifted, we became much better working partners, my anxiety fell, and my boss even told me my work was good from time to time! To me, the moral is that it is important to have self respect, and for others in turn to respect that. If not, act on it! But take care to prepare first and be very specific with your words reasons for discontent. Has anyone else in the forums experienced anxiety brought on by a boss who is unfair, a bully or demeaned them? Happy to hear how you coped! Regards, The Bro

sabbath18 Driving Anxiety
  • replies: 5

I’m 20, turning 21 next month and I’ve been on my L’s since I was 16. I only have about 10 hours logged, 6 of those are from 2 driving instructor lessons. I haven’t been behind the wheel since 2019. I am a very anxious person in general and the thoug... View more

I’m 20, turning 21 next month and I’ve been on my L’s since I was 16. I only have about 10 hours logged, 6 of those are from 2 driving instructor lessons. I haven’t been behind the wheel since 2019. I am a very anxious person in general and the thought of driving makes me so nervous. Not having my licence is the biggest insecurity of mine, I get so upset and embarrassed whenever anyone brings up the topic of me driving. I need my licence but I can’t push myself to start driving again. I understand I have to overcome my fear of driving by actually driving and getting my hours up but as soon as I get in the car, I feel as if I’m about to have a panic attack, my heart races so fast and my palms start to sweat. I feel as if I’m more of a danger to others on the road. I know my boyfriend is getting sick of driving all the time, I try not to burden him as I’m fine with using public transport or Uber but he insists on driving me, but I can tell he’s over it. I don’t know where to start or what to do about this. Please help.

Thommo1163 Where is all began
  • replies: 2

I have only been on this forum a day and I already feel a sense of relief with the support shown. For those who want to know why I am here I have another thread on it. I thought I would share a bit about how I belief my anxiety started. With my wife ... View more

I have only been on this forum a day and I already feel a sense of relief with the support shown. For those who want to know why I am here I have another thread on it. I thought I would share a bit about how I belief my anxiety started. With my wife deciding that after all these years she was no longer going to accept my anxieties & phobias & with lots of pain along the way I decided I needed to look back over the 58 years of my life to try and pin point moments to see is I could determine how far back my issues have been with me. They have become so a part of me I hadn't really taken notice of them, not that i didn't know I had them, just that they were me. My wife did much the same by allowing me to use them as excuses not to do things. She no longer is willing to allow that hence where I am today. I have managed to trace things back to a single moment in primary school where I was asked to speak in front of the class in show & tell. Being shy at that age I don't think it was anxiety that I took into it, merely shyness at the age of 5. But I wet my pants in front of the class and was ridiculed, laughed at and then embarrassed by the teacher who made me stand there and finish the show & tell. I had forgotten all about this incident until I recently dived back into my past. From that incident i found 2 friends who stuck with me. I believe I was bullied and ridiculed many more times over that period as the kid who wet his pants. The 2 friends became my best friends and from that moment, even though others would be friends, close friendships were never chased. I have lived much of my life with just a couple of close friends. I took the same approach into high school or sporting teams. 1 or 2 friends no more. Those friends tended to be more self confident which allowed me to stay in the background when we did venture into territory I wasnt comfortable with. That way they were the centre of attention I could could hide in the background if I had to. Amazingly still happens. Person i would say I am closest to now is an outgoing larger than life type. So when we go to the club or pub he takes centre stage, people gather around him and I am just to the side or can step into the background, yet still consider myself socialising. My idea of making friends is for them to find me. I may place myself in a scene, but never make the approach, place yourself at the same scene often enough and someone will always end up approaching you.

Sonja90 Unable to seek professional help, where do I go
  • replies: 5

I just created a profile here today, in desperate need of help. I’m currently sitting in my car outside my GP’s office. Had an appointment 30 minutes ago, but was unable to go in because I just can’t stop crying. I tried to prepare myself for how the... View more

I just created a profile here today, in desperate need of help. I’m currently sitting in my car outside my GP’s office. Had an appointment 30 minutes ago, but was unable to go in because I just can’t stop crying. I tried to prepare myself for how the conversation would go on the drive here, but I’m even unable to say it out loud to myself, as I just cry and cry, unable to say a word. I’ve lived with anxiety for 3 years, and have been able to live a very good life through meditation, working out and breathing techniques. But now I’m facing week 5 of very intense anxiety without a single break. I can’t see the end of it and think I need help to get out of it this time, but where do I go? Talking to my GP just seems like an impossible task to me right now

_findingthelostme_ I feel like they just don't like me
  • replies: 5

I don't consider myself stupid, mean, unfriendly or uptight, nothing like that. I know I am fairly shy but lately I feel super self conscious. I know I'm not living my best life, in fact these last few years I'm just doing my best to get by. But I kn... View more

I don't consider myself stupid, mean, unfriendly or uptight, nothing like that. I know I am fairly shy but lately I feel super self conscious. I know I'm not living my best life, in fact these last few years I'm just doing my best to get by. But I know work 3 jobs with 3 kids and study pt at uni, I work bloody hard and do my best. Tonight, I thought back to a few recent jobs I lost after short periods and looked up a fb site of one of them scrolling back to the week after one of them let me go giving no reason other than "deciding to go down another path", There in my seat was my replacement, this beautiful looking young girl. Perfect hair and makeup. Seeing her made me feel really ugly and unwanted, not good enough. I returned to my old job and now I am the oldest and longest lived receptionist working there. I've seen many people come and go. Thing is, I'm still doing the same job, no promotion, no new skills, no prospects for new work and my ideas are never considered, unlike all the newbies. I am by far overqualified, I do my job well and train the other girls but the boss doesn't like me, I don't know why. Seems like I'm not trusted and every thing I do is wrong or I say the wrong things and everytime it is picked up, yet when I hear others talking crap seems nobody is listening but me. I feel like I'm always cleaning up other peoples mess like I'm the only one that sees it and nobody every thanks me or acknowledges me. I feel unloved and unappreciated and I don't know why. People exhaust me and I want to run from everyone. I'm so tired. Whats wrong with me? I don't know what to do about this yucky feeling inside. I don't really have any friends or family to talk about this anymore and I feel unloved.

Thommo1163 Anxiety - Social Phobia & Cibophobia & to top it off prolific nail biter for over 50 years
  • replies: 9

Trouble in a relationship has brought me here. My wife has previously just used the "its just him" excuse that has allowed me to have 25 yrs of marriage without dealing with my issues. She no longer wants to use that excuse so I now need to act to ha... View more

Trouble in a relationship has brought me here. My wife has previously just used the "its just him" excuse that has allowed me to have 25 yrs of marriage without dealing with my issues. She no longer wants to use that excuse so I now need to act to have any chance of holding onto my marriage which I dearly do. Self help seems to be the way forward while I wait for professional help as Covid seems to have created log jams of pyschologists. All my issues seem to be inter-related in someway so I am hoping dealing with 1 will assist in dealing with the others. Maybe I am kidding myself though with the food phobia. Fear & depression rear their ugly head every now & then but again they are related to the anxiety getting worse. I have been told by my wife not to rush & to work on the fact I start a new job after 20 years of being a stay at home dad on Monday, Adding to my anxiety. But the feeling of my marriage slipping away has me wanting to take affirmative action whilst waiting for professional help. Hopefully it can start my journey to a more fulfilling happy married life as well as a more fulfilling life for myself.

Roberta2 Place too much self worth into work
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone. I’m new here. Hoping to write about my current feeling for some thoughts. I work in a good job but can be high stress and a challenging boss. I don’t have kids and work is everything really - Even more during the covid lockdowns. I had k... View more

Hi everyone. I’m new here. Hoping to write about my current feeling for some thoughts. I work in a good job but can be high stress and a challenging boss. I don’t have kids and work is everything really - Even more during the covid lockdowns. I had known for some time I’m abit of a ticking time bomb with my anxiety and one wrong turn or criticism at work would tip me over the edge and after some recent feedback on something I tried hard on, I am at that point. I try really hard at work to be good because I want to be but also because I know I’ve been sitting there waiting to fail at something. Would love to hear how others manage this kind of anxiety.. I know diet and exercise will help and I do try. I’m not doing intense exercise but I am getting in a daily walk or two.

Willy943 I'm feeling kind of worthless
  • replies: 7

The past couple years I've felt like I'm not smart enough. I want to be an engineer when I leave school but I feel like I haven't been paying attention enough in school and now that I'm in yr11 it's too late for me. Everyone in my classes and all my ... View more

The past couple years I've felt like I'm not smart enough. I want to be an engineer when I leave school but I feel like I haven't been paying attention enough in school and now that I'm in yr11 it's too late for me. Everyone in my classes and all my friends are constantly getting higher marks than me and it makes me feel even worse about my self. The worst part is I keep judging my self against my own girlfriend who seems to always get higher makes than me no matter how hard I try. Even when I'm proud of my work she'll send me hers and it blows mine out of the water and It really sucks. Especially when I'm writing an essay for lit, it'll take me forever to write a single paragraph but my girlfriend will finish the entire thing in a single night and easily get 90% while mine completely sucks and barley makes sense. I've been trying really hard this year to improve it but nothing's changed and i'm starting to feel like I can't do anything about it and it really sucks because as childish as this sounds I really really really wish I was actually smart but I fear its too late for me to change. Not only so I can reach my life goals of working as an engineer but also just so I can feel like I fit in with everyone else. I've kind of gotten to a breaking point now where everytime my girlfriend send me her essay or a paragraph I have a mini breakdown because I feel so bad about my own intelligence. I know this all sounds pretty stupid in the grand scheme of things but it's really important to me