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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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JMaclaren OCD, Anxiety and Asbestos
  • replies: 3

Hi. While I feel very sad that others on this forum experience the same abject terror I am going through about asbestos, it is helpful to know I am not alone. And EMF is another terror. For some reason, over the past month I have been going through t... View more

Hi. While I feel very sad that others on this forum experience the same abject terror I am going through about asbestos, it is helpful to know I am not alone. And EMF is another terror. For some reason, over the past month I have been going through the worst anxiety I have ever experienced. If I manage to come to terms with one angst, OCD serves me up another - it is the gift that keeps on giving, despite me having started on meds (only a week ago), seeing GP and psychologist, and doing hypnotherapy. I am wearing myself out by constantly trying to find solutions often on Google (yep, I know it is bad), only to have another take its place. And my family cannot understand what I am going through. My latest anxiety relates to my teenager putting up the Christmas tree and decorations with a friend while I wasn’t at home. About 10 of the ornaments were old ones from my mother-in-law’s estate - I had kept them as keepsakes and we have put them on the tree or mantlepiece for the past 5 years. Good old Google tells me that pure asbestos was used on old Christmas decorations and trees often as fake snow. So even though I don’t recall any specifically looking likely they have fake snow, my anxiety is now in free fall. Especially as my teenager is so precious to me. Now I am faced with trying to locate and isolate the ornaments that are worrying me to get them tested. If they are, it probably means tossing out all the other decorations and the tree as well. Then I have to deal with the possibility of future fallout for both the teenager and the friend. Any constructive comments much appreciated.

JMaclaren How do you avoid the compulsion?
  • replies: 1

Hi So how do I go about helping myself to stop continually going on Google to reassure (and sometimes terrify) myself about asbestos presence and potential for exposure? And just because I am hypervigilant and catastrophising, how do I tone my anxiet... View more

Hi So how do I go about helping myself to stop continually going on Google to reassure (and sometimes terrify) myself about asbestos presence and potential for exposure? And just because I am hypervigilant and catastrophising, how do I tone my anxiety down to what someone without OCD/anxiety might take, including having items tested for asbestos? The uncertainty and lack of control is making the panic attacks so horrible

Minniemin Heartbroken
  • replies: 1

Hi Guys, I have just had my boyfriend of 5 months break up with me. I believe he is suffering from anxiety and possible undiagnosed adhd. I think it started a month ago around Christmas as he had started pulling away from me and didn't want to discus... View more

Hi Guys, I have just had my boyfriend of 5 months break up with me. I believe he is suffering from anxiety and possible undiagnosed adhd. I think it started a month ago around Christmas as he had started pulling away from me and didn't want to discuss our relationship. But the trigger happened 3 weeks ago. We fought and he though I broke up with him ( his last 2 exs left him without warning) and he stopped being affectionate and messaging and calling me. He told me that he still loved me and his feelings hadn't changed but he had no emotions to give to me. I decided to try and fight for us. Then a week and a half ago he told me he had to let me go as he couldn't give me anything as he now felt nothing at all. He couldn't feel a single thing for me. But said he couldn't feel it for anyone even family except his kids. I continued to want to work it out and he has said he is now done and can't do it anymore because there is not a single feeling or emotion in him. Completely blank. Not even feeling bad about the breakup and the hurt he has cause for 3 weeks. It seemed to happen overnight that the love was not there anymore and he agreed that it just stopped. Every feeling and emotion in him was gone. But that none of it was about me. It was all him. I am struggling with this as he says he still feels emotions for his kids. And I am wondering if it is an excuse to breakup without being the bad guy. Can anxiety or something else really cause a complete shut down of any emotions or feeling? When he has them for his kids still? And why can he not see or understand that this could be temporary and is throwing away a relationship that even he said was amazing and wanted forever before this happened 3 weeks ago? Is there no thought process to give him that understanding? I am so confused and hurt and frustrated. And really don't know what to think or do.

__Ulysses__ Being Gaslit by Boss and She's Manipulating Situations and People Against me
  • replies: 1

Last year my boss went on leave and I was promoted into her job and the whole time she undermind me. Since she came back she's tried to manipulate situation and people to complain about me. She's blocked me from doing any work so I have no job satisf... View more

Last year my boss went on leave and I was promoted into her job and the whole time she undermind me. Since she came back she's tried to manipulate situation and people to complain about me. She's blocked me from doing any work so I have no job satisfaction and made me reserve from being at work, she's removed my access in secret, and now she's trying to performance manage me out. She lies all the time but she's good at it, she uses very careful words so she can always back peddle. I've recorded every conversation we've had for the past 6 moths cause I can't trust anything she says. She rarely puts things in writing. When she says something, I'll put it back to her in writing and she always denies it. .. so recently she said my friend, "Ana"who no longer works there complained about me. Apparently Ana said I was excluding her. I call Ana and ask if there was ever anything.. Ana says no. But noticed I seemed to be excluded from things, which is how I felt that I did stop engaging. Ana says at one point my Boss insists to Ana that I'm being mean to Ana and that my boss will talk to Ulysses about the issue. Ana says no. There's nothing wrong. I tell my Boss's boss about this manipulation. Who then clearly tells my boss. Next thing there's an email from HR saying the Boss is aware that I've been in contact with Ana about this and Ana has expressed concern to boss about this, and all questions about Ana should go to boss. So this makes me doubt if Ana really did have an issue but didn't want to tell me. But it doesn't make sense, not with the way Ana and I talk. So at the risk of making things worse I call Ana who reconfirms there's no issue and boss is bull. Ana has said they will go on record to clear things up. But I hate that I was lead to doubt Ana, I hate what my boss has been doing to my mental health. and I don't know why I'm still there. I want to fight it but it's so emotionally draining. I've seen my boss do similar things to others but never saw the whole picture and not being on the receiving end you don't really see how bad it is. 2 years ago someone, say, "Tom" told me they had CCC complaint put in about them. That's serious time, like people go to prison level crime. The person who submitted the claim had never even met the Tom face to face despite working in buildings only 10 KMs aawa. I knew (instinctively) when Tom told me about the CCC complaint my boss was behind it all but not sure if Tom did.

Dannybaar Hate my new job
  • replies: 4

HI I have just joined a new job ( 1 month now). I am struggling at this place. The politics are rampant; people are undermining me, we are giving lip service instead of getting to the bottom of the issues, favouritism. I work in the IT field. I had s... View more

HI I have just joined a new job ( 1 month now). I am struggling at this place. The politics are rampant; people are undermining me, we are giving lip service instead of getting to the bottom of the issues, favouritism. I work in the IT field. I had some good runs in the job aspect, but this one is becoming unbearable. It has started impacting my life. At times, I wonder what my life's aim or purpose is. Another issue is I cannot confront anyone and always look at making others happy first. Maybe this attitude does not work in the corporate world. I have an awesome average family, and I am an immigrant. I have a couple of excellent friends. It is making me sick. I have depression and am currently on meds. I apologise for my haphazard writing.

leone2 fear of thunderstorms
  • replies: 5

Hi all - just joined - in a high state of anxiety over these storms in melbourne. Want to find a dungeon or soundproof basement. Am completely sick with anxiety. I have ear muffs and blast the stereo ( and scream to try and cancel the noise) I suppos... View more

Hi all - just joined - in a high state of anxiety over these storms in melbourne. Want to find a dungeon or soundproof basement. Am completely sick with anxiety. I have ear muffs and blast the stereo ( and scream to try and cancel the noise) I suppose I just want to hear from someone who understands. I am not used to the intensity of these storms ( just moved to melb in time for the pandemic) so yes feeling mighty sorry for myself

Doberman38 Worried about something bad happening at concert
  • replies: 5

G'day everyone. In a couple of months my sister, a friend and I are going to attend a concert here in Melbourne, something which I rarely do. However, I'm now on the verge of cancelling, because the current somewhat heated political climate in Melbou... View more

G'day everyone. In a couple of months my sister, a friend and I are going to attend a concert here in Melbourne, something which I rarely do. However, I'm now on the verge of cancelling, because the current somewhat heated political climate in Melbourne is making me worried a terrorist attack could happen. I'm especially concerned because the musician we're seeing is internationally prominent and is a strong supporter of social justice causes, which in my mind increases the chance of the event getting targeted. I've actually had similar terrorism anxiety at all the other concerts I've attended, but this was before the pandemic flared up tensions. I know this is my anxiety talking and that it would greatly disappoint my sister and friend if I dropped out, especially over something like this. I guess I just need some helpful advice and support to set my mind at ease.

anxietygirl60 Anxiety about the vaccine
  • replies: 32

I am new here and hoping for some reassurance and encouragement. For months now I have been putting off getting the covid vaccine, have cancelled and rescheduled a few times now, because my anxiety has been getting worse about it. The more I put it o... View more

I am new here and hoping for some reassurance and encouragement. For months now I have been putting off getting the covid vaccine, have cancelled and rescheduled a few times now, because my anxiety has been getting worse about it. The more I put it off, the more I keep thinking about it, the worse the anxiety gets. I really want to have the vaccine but I've let the negative noise on the internet get into my head and I keep thinking about the worse case scenario's of the side affects of it. I know that getting covid is way worse and I know that the likelihood of a bad reaction is probably quite small but my mind has built this up into such a huge thing that every time I think I'm ready to get it the anxiety kicks into overdrive and I just can't make myself physically go and get it. I have a rescheduled appointment booked for the first jab on Dec 1. and I spoke to my doctor yesterday about my anxiety and hesitancy to get it. She helped a lot but there's still some lingering doubt about it and the consequences of getting it. Because once it's been injected into my arm there's no turning back and whatever happens is going to happen. I just need some help getting over the line with it. If you have any reassuring words or experiences or even videos/articles from trustworthy sources I would really appreciate your help. Please, no one trying to talk me out of it. I want to have it I just need to get over myself to get there. Thanks in advance. (Oh, I should have mentioned that it's not just the vaccine that I have issues with. It's all new medications. I have this weird phobia - I believe it is called Pharmacophobia - where I worry that any new medication will cause me to have a bad reaction or kill me. I won't even take anxiety meds. I also worry that the medication has been tampered with and will cause me harm. I am a weirdo for sure.)

Ianna Homesick is hitting me hard
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone I’m new to Australia, an international student of a uni here. I am literally experiencing homesick…well a bit severe I guess especially at night. A bit about me, I’m living on campus in a studio apartment, everyday I feel so well outsi... View more

Hello everyone I’m new to Australia, an international student of a uni here. I am literally experiencing homesick…well a bit severe I guess especially at night. A bit about me, I’m living on campus in a studio apartment, everyday I feel so well outside walking anywhere but once I wake up in the morning or ready to sleep, I feel so lonely and anxious for nothing, the emotion just popped out I have no idea how can I deal with this issue. I have joined hall events, chatted with parents but still it can’t alleviate my problem, sigh… anyone can offer some help or tips for me please:(

car10001 finding friends similar age
  • replies: 4

hi everyone was wondering how and what is the best way to find younger friends (people your age)? dont need many friends similar age as already got plenty good ones just after a few because havent got many friends similar age to do stuff with other t... View more

hi everyone was wondering how and what is the best way to find younger friends (people your age)? dont need many friends similar age as already got plenty good ones just after a few because havent got many friends similar age to do stuff with other than 1 which is harder to catch up now because of commitments. is there still a way to meet people your age that you hang around with the way the baby boomers did back when they were that age or are we just going to have to accept times have changed and accept the way current generation does it and take chances and be careful. its looking like its going to be the only way around it all. just want some friends similar age to me to do something with now and then and am feeling left out when you see some facebook and instagram pictures of someone doing stuff with friends and you realise that you dont have the same friends. what can be done until you can change jobs and have different hours and work less weekends if at all as it seems thats when the younger generation are out doing stuff and when events happen that dont happen during week. doing the above is looking to be the only way and thinking of a way to hang on until the time is right. however am planning ahead as very unlikely to last more than the owners 60th in 4 years at latest and may be doing well to last that and it will probably take that long to come up with something and by planning ahead you got time to think about things plus you may be able to spread out the cost of any needed training and the equipment and tools. what could be done for now to find more friends your age that work during week until youre able to do something about changing to different and better hours. also if you havent got a father thatll show you how to tow vans and show you other stuff what could you do to have a chance to tow vans. car isnt rated to tow the bigger vans that family members have upgraded to and cant afford to change it yet and no ones got a van light enough. would hiring a furniture trailer to get close to the experience be only way, have towed a fully loaded 6x4 trailer loaded with concrete pots which would be nearly a tonne