Anxiety paranoia

[redrighthand]

Hey everyone,

I have suffered from depression, anxiety and an eating disorder for a while now. I find it really hard to reach out to people because I am ashamed of who I am. I've lied about my eating disorder for months now and I have been pretending to just be eating healthy when really I've been skipping meals due to my anxiety and my feeling of severe inadequacy and it has lead me to make many embarrassing mistakes. I feel like everyone judges me and all my friends hate me. I'm hitting rock bottom as my partner might leave me due to my poor choices and that I won't have any friends.

I'm scared to go to work or to talk to anyone about what's going on. I've apologised to my friends but they haven't responded to me and now, all I want to do is stay home, sleep and cry.

I don't know what to do. I know I have to face this but I don't how and I don't know how to start caring for myself and giving myself worth and to stop caring about what others think. It's gradually ruining my mental health and I am at a loss as to what to do.

I'm scared all the time.

[Alexlisa]

Hello,

It sounds like you’re having a really difficult time. I was wondering if you have contact with a psychologist? It sounds Ike you’re dealing with some pretty serious issues and you deserve to be supported. If you visit your GP you can get a Mental Health Care Plan that will allow you to see a psychologist for free, ten times per year. Please don’t suffer in silence. I know it’s hard to reach out, but leaving a post here was a brave first step.

Take care

AlexLisa

[white knight]

Hi RRH, welcome

Yes, it's such a hollow feeling you have and your friends not assisting you in times of need. I think you need to reflect a lot on where your life is heading, the friends you have (and don't have) and focus seriously on your self esteem. Bare in mind that self esteem issues are serious stuff and need long term focus and changes to remedy the symptoms. Like many things of this nature you need a multi pronged approach, no one thing will help long term.

Changes include-

• lifestyle that includes entertainment, hobbies and sports. These things provide distractions even for short periods- a holiday for your mind
• Environment- living location can be improved to provide a better relaxing place (city to country?). It can even provide a more friendly type of person around you.
• Medical- keep regular visits to your GP. Take on board referals. Care for your health
• Relaxation techniques- so important and you can do them nightly before sleep. I'm still doing "muscle tensioning exercises" after 32 years. They work. Google - beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it
• Finances- this can be debilitating. Get a budget and become financially comfortable
• Worry. It doesn't produce anything positive Google- Beyondblue topic worry worry worry
• Protection- from othe rpeople that can harm your progress in self esteem rebuilding Google- Beyondblue topic fortress of survival and Beyondblue topic fortress of survival part 2
• Acceptance- Many people have no idea of what living with mental illness is like. Beyondblue topic they just wont understand, why? learn to accept how wonderful you really are. We are valuable and for whatever reason you have developed with this view of yourself Google- YouTube Maharaji the perfect instrument

I hope that helps. Would love to know how that reading went. Take care.

TonyWK

I hope that help

[redrighthand]

Thank you and yes, I am seeking professional help. I just don't know what to do in the mean time.

[redrighthand]

Thank you for your help! I'll endeavour to make more time to myself 🙂

[redrighthand]

Hey guys,

Its been a while since I have posted anything but I have gotten worse. I have been binge drinking because I feel so worthless, ugly and unlovable. I think my family hates me and I have no one to talk to. I wish I was beautiful and worthy of doing the things I want to do but I feel like I can't do it and I need help