Anxiety or Depression or something worse?

[Beau_Brady]

What is wrong with me?

Whilst I am not medicated and have not sort professional help, I believe I have depression or anxiety or maybe something else.

I am constantly talking to myself in my own head and my imagination runs absolutely wild (I am 30). Like when a child goes to bed and imagines he is playing cops and robbers as he lies their eyes closed, my imagination is no different. It’s like I am constantly talking to myself but not aloud. I don’t literally hear voices with ‘volume’ in my head, it’s more like a silent voice, constant narration of my life and whatever I am imagining. I day dream a lot. 

Other things to note; I have turned from an extrovert (up until early 20’s) into an introvert (am now 30). I avoid socialising not because
I am scared of people but because it’s too draining mentally and I find small talk fake and extremely boring. I do prefer my own company nowdays.

I find it hard to motivate myself at work. I do enough  to get by rather than trying to be successful even know success is what i think about the most. I find it hard to find passion in anything. I question everything and am a deep thinker.

Panic attack: I have some kind of mental panic during public speaking or even if I have to talk during a meeting at work in front of 10 or so people. Symptoms include; heart rate increase, mouth twitches, hot flush over body, sweating and then I can't think it’s like my brain has stopped. 

I understand that people will tell me to seek professional help and chat to my doc. That is obvious. I am after your thoughts not a referral. No wrong or right answers here i'm just hoping people have some advice and/or opinions. 

[JessF]

Hello Beau, I'm not quite sure what you might be after in terms of advice or opinions, because it seems that by listing symptoms you're after some kind of diagnosis... which as you know you won't get from an internet forum. 

Perhaps you want to compare what you are experiencing to what others have? There are a lot of threads in here with people describing their own life situations, but again that won't tell you whether you have the medical condition known as anxiety or depression.

Based on what you have written, I don't personally think there is anything "wrong" with you. Lots of people experience anxiety when speaking in public, exactly as you describe. From time to time, lots of people lose motivation at work. Lots of people also change their socialising patterns as they get older, particularly in the party hard years of 20s to getting past 30 or older. 

I guess the question is, what is making you unhappy about all of the above? Why is it bothering you? And how do you want things to be different?

[blondguy]

Hi Beau

Welcome to the BB Forums

I remember your symptoms when I used to suffer from them. They are dreadful. (for many years)..Just my exp..

* The anxiety does lessen in severity over time once you realise they are only feelings..

* The meetings do get much easier after time...The panic will become only a distant memory

* Being a perfectionist doesnt help

* Self Curable? Just my opinion Beau but no.

* Quality REM sleep is vital for you to heal and cope better the next day

* Cellphones ipads etc before sleep can overstimulate brain activity/thought processes...Poor sleep

* Coffee/Red Bulls etc...No...Have none

* Anxiety/social impairment are the result of a 'tired' anxious mind....Revving too fast

* Difficulty motivating yourself....The anxiety can be very draining....motivation will disappear somewhat

* Never fight anxiety (panic) Fighting it only feeds the fire and releases additional adrenaline..increasing panic

* Sounds like very common anxiety disorder from the info you have provided Beau

* Newer meds are better than older ones...They can help you build a platform on which to heal effectively

"I do enough  to get by rather than trying to be successful"........................They are your words...and Bullseye! That is great work..Very very good

Great Topic Beau

Cheers

Paul

[Beau_Brady]

Thanks Blonde guy. 

 "Sounds like very common Anxiety" is pleasing to hear and that you too went through the same process and improved. I have felt alienated for years.  

 My mind does rev to fast especially at night when i'm trying to sleep (i don't sleep well at all, maybe 3 hrs p/n).

I will start by eliminating coffee and caffeine all together and will try and get my sleeping patterns right (I just researched REM sleep). 

Thanks again

[blondguy]

Hey Beau

Thankyou for your kind reply 🙂

I am happy that you posted in the first place.

The amount of people that have 'basic' anxiety is huge...I have worked in senior corporate levels for years and know many people that have or did have these annoying sensations...

Just a point re/coffee. I LOVE my coffee. Every Saturday and Sunday morning I have one now...but during the week it just presses all the wrong buttons.

The anxiety does lessen in severity Beau..

Here for you if you wish to post again of course.

Kind Thoughts

Paul