Anxiety on the Road

[Kichi_rou]

My boyfriend's van is at the mechanic and the other day he had to drive me to work in my car so he could get himself to work. It was raining heavily and although he is a completely safe and competent driver, I was hesitant, knowing that I can get uneasy as it is in the car, let alone someone else driving and in bad conditions. I got in the car and we had all but backed out of the driveway when I started shaking uncontrollably (almost dropping my Vegemite toast!). I tried not to say anything but he noticed and stopped the car, at which point I completely freaked out and became hysterical. I felt completely unsafe and was almost certain I would die on the way to work. This was an exaggerated display of what I think to myself on a daily basis when I drive myself to work on a clear day. This has happened to me at a lesser degree when I have been driving the car so I am not blaming the driver and it has happened many times before. I just don't know why. And now any time we are supposed to go pretty much anywhere in the car I stress about it constantly leading up to the journey. I only tolerate driving the 15 minutes to work each day because it is a necessity. I try to avoid driving anywhere unnecessarily, because I fear death or injury if I do. I might mention that my boyfriend rides a motorcycle which I worry about constantly. Sometimes I don't expect him to come home, fearing something horrible is going to happen. These thoughts are exhausting and even though I feel they are justified (the road is a dangerous place), surely there is a way to relax the morbid thoughts I have on a constant and daily basis.

[white knight]

Hi K, welcome

Thinking unrealistic thoughts needs serious therapy. I suggest you start with your GP and any referral.

Until then, be the driver to work.

Tony WK

[Pixie15]

Hi Kichi_rou,

I am not sure I agree totally with white knight.

It does sound like your anxiety might be triggered by driving. People have phobias about all sorts of things. Lets face it the road can be a dangerous place. Especially for motor bikes. My partner had a quite serious injuries early last year with being knocked off his motorbike. And it was not the first time I made the trip to the hospital. At least in a car you have some protection. Also I have found that motorbike riders don't necessarily make the most comfortable chauffers for anxious people. I would say until you get on top of it you could ask your boyfriend to agree to you being the chauffer when you go somewhere together.

There is hope. If you have not already seen your doctor as White Knight suggested that might be a good idea.

best wishes

[BballJ]

Hi Kichi_rou,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Driving phobias are more common than you think, I have dealt with it personally as well, not the extent that you have but I do know and have had the fears similar to you. I would suggest going to a see your GP and getting a possible referral to a psych to try and work through why you feel this way and seeing if they can help you with any exercises to help calm you down. Your partner riding a motorbike wouldn't help, I understand that, have you told him how it makes you feel?

As Pixie15 and white knight said perhaps be the driver whilst you try and get these feelings under control.

My best for you,

Jay