I posted a couple of days ago about how I've been feeling now that I have started a new job and find myself checking everyday for a reply it's like im desperate or something. I actually left my last job because it was horrible hours and stress. I guess I'm worried that I'm going to feel miserable at my new job. I have this fear that Im not going to do well even though I've worked for this company before and they were happy to have me back. It's like I feel I will let them down some way. I think my self-confidence is at a bit of a low. The role is more responsibility this time but I need the money atm.
I know it all prob sounds normal but Ive battled for the last few years a long journey in depression and anxiety and was seeing a counselor about it (this was for other reasons but work was something we did talk about towards my last few sessions). I don't think Im depressed anymore but anxiety has been a battle. I haven't seen her in a few months now but I don't know if thats stopping me booking with her again. I guess I feel I had to come here just to let out what it is I'm feeling when I wake up for work or on a sat night when I know I have to go to work on a sunday. I wake up with knots in my stomach, my heart flutters, my hands feel really shakey and my lip twitches a bit too. I'm paranoid this will show at work sometimes when I feel nervous.
Is this because I'm thinking too much? I know its ok to feel nervous at a new job but sometimes I just over think everything and hype myself up way too much just for one day and it drives me crazy.
Whats strange is that Im actually a very positive person (well so everyone says)... even at work Im known to smile a lot but I wish I actually felt what I project myself.
Please if anyone could give me some advice that would be amazing!
