Hi Farmboy and welcome to Beyond Blue
Thank you for asking a good question. There are many of us here to have severe anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Everyone has a different approach to how they manage their mental health. There isn't one size fits all way to manage and cope with everyday living. Sometimes it's a try, see if it works, if not, try a different way.
My own thoughts of how to overcome anxiety in relationships is to first identify what it is that causes the insecurities.
'Studies have found that people with low self-esteem have more relationship insecurity, which can prevent them from experiencing the benefits of a loving connection. People with low self-esteem not only want their partner to see them in a better light than they see themselves, but in moments of self-doubt, they have trouble even recognizing their partner’s affirmations. Further, the acting out of our insecurities can push a partner away, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because this struggle is internal and goes on most of the time, independent of circumstances, it’s important to deal with our insecurities without distorting or dragging our partner into them. We can do this by taking two steps:
- Uncover the real roots of our insecurity.
- Challenge the inner critic that sabotages our relationship'
(Psychology Today Australia - https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/compassion-matters/201509/how-get-over-relationship-anxiety )
There is a good thread in the forums - Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed? This thread can be found under the - Caring for Myself and Others category, in the Staying Well forum. Alternatively do a search using the search field at the top of the page. Feel free to browse our forums and join discussions if you want to.
You're not alone Farmboy. Keep reaching out if and when you want to.
Kind regards
PamelaR
