Anxiety Help- never ending cycle

[Annie_G]

Hey everyone! 

Don’t know if this is going out to the void but been struggling with extreme anxiety and regular patterns of avoidance. Has been a repeat cycle of getting better and feeling like an actual human being and then talking two steps back. It has been very isolating seeing other friends my age all socialising and enjoying the holiday season while I am struggling to get out of the house most days. Also feeling a bit left out when some common friends made plans without me. Have also started having extreme phone anxiety and avoidance- been sitting on some text messages and lunch plans for 3 weeks now and can’t stop thinking about wanting to reach back out but can’t bring myself to respond back to the messages. I don’t know where this avoidance is coming from. The whiplash from wanting to go out and continue these relationships (I really do care about them) but also unable to do anything makes me feel like I am just sabotaging and ruining my own life. I also have no social activities or regular activities to look forward to so this holidays was a very low point.

I don’t know if anyone feels the same, especially feeling anxiety spike when there is no clear plan or routine. Will be starting a new job soon so feeling more anxious leading up to that as well. Overall just a melting ball of loneliness and anxiety but we persist! Just hoping for things to start feeling a bit better and to get over this but would appreciate any advice on strategies that helped anyone with extreme avoidance behaviour especially when living alone. Thanks! 

[Croix]

Dear Annie_G~

I'd like to welcome you into the Support Forum, a friendly place where one talk with  others about one's problems. You life sounds very difficult at the moment, apart from worry over a new job, which I guess is natural, you have a lot more going on. Not being able to go out to your friends, not answering messages, just sitting on them, and anxiety and avoiding doing things.

I'm not a doctor so can't say what is wrong, however your life sounds very much like mine when my anxiety condition was at its worst. I was even afraid to answer the telephone or walk down to get my letters out of the mail box. They were frightening and may have bad news or I'd not make sense on the phone and worry what people thought of me.

I'd not go out, or do jobs around the house or filling forms and keep putting things off. Basically no confidence I'd do things right I suppose.

I could not make myself feel better even though I tried, eventually I saw a doctor, was diagnosed amongst other things with an anxiety condition. That explained a lot. It also meant I could have treatment for what was wrong, after all there is no reason really why my life should have been like that.

I had treatment consisting of medications and therapy and over time things got a lot better.  I started to do the tasks I'd been putting off for fear of getting them wrong, rejoined friendships and went out. My capacity to worry and relive past events or to think of new ones going wrong started to stop

The treatment took a while as it took a number of different medications to find the right one. All to start with made me dopey, or did nothing. Eventually the right one was found. I had talk therapy and on the new drug it was more effective.

So if you have not done so I'd strongly suggest you go see a doctor, have an extended consultation, and explain all that has been happening to you, then see what happens.  I was a complete mess and am now good, I would think if I can be treated and get miles better I'd hope you can too.

If you felt like coming back and saying how you go that would be great

Croix

[Annie_G]

Hi Croix,

thank you so much for your kind response- it really means a lot to me. I have often felt too afraid to get proper help or tried avoiding it with work and staying busy. Have managed to handle things a bit better today! But thank you for the advice- will look at professional help. Can see it’s become a much bigger problem that I really should address. 

Hope all is good with you!

[Croix]

Dear Annie_G~

I guess you have made a big jump forward. All the time I thought it was just me I got progressively worse over time, more limited in what I could do.  It was not until I found it was not just me but an actual illness that there was any hope of improvment.

I think you have reached htat stage now and the next logical thing is medical assistance. This can be pretty daunting, telling oyu innermost thoghts to another and not knowing what will happen.

I found the easiest was was to take a couple of days and write down in point form all the things I was feeling, all the things I was doing or not doing. Then hand thepaper over.

It worked pretty well, I had time to put everything down including those things I might have forgotten or chickened out and not mentioned (too late when written down:). The doctor was please to a have it all in black and white and could form a good picture of how I was.

Croix