Good morning Freya,
This is my first time really exploring Beyond Blue despite life long depression. Three years ago I had a traumatic experience which left me with debilitating anxiety. It really did change who I was as a person. I had never really understood what it was and had little patience for those dealing with it. Because, it just doesn't make sense. And I think that's the crux of it. Your rational mind and your gut instinct, intuition as it were, are at odds.
It makes no sense to feel this way we tell ourselves, then we waste precious time beating ourselves up about it. Which makes us feel worse, and so the cycle continues.
I am sorry reading your comments about your parents. Living with guilt is hard, have you talked to your parents about it as a family?
Maybe that might help to ease your mind somewhat. I'm sure your father knows you would take care of them both if you could. You just can't right now, and THAT'S OK!
You didn't choose to burden your parents and you certainly didn't wake up one day and decide to be anxious and depressed.
Go a little easier on yourself Freya!
Reading that you have a telehealth appointment and are seeking help made it easier for me to book an appointment myself.
Because i am tired of feeling this way. So I'm choosing not to feel this way anymore, just like you did!
Yes, the process will probably be a long one, but we have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
Allow yourself those downdays, don't punish yourself for the way you feel. We won't need to waste hours days and weeks wondering if we'll always be this way, if we choose a new path and follow that path. Step by step.
I wish you the very best and please keep us updated with your story.
As I said, your post gave me the nudge I needed. If you can do it Freya, so can I.
Thank you for helping me take my first step xx
