Hi Sunshine981991,
Sorry to hear that things are so rough.
It is really hard thing to do. I haven't yet gone 0 contact with my mother but have extreemily limited contact with her, and she doesn't know my address. I grappled with a lot of different emotions and it was a painful extraction. It is hard because there is social expectations on what families are. I've felt a lot of guilt and shame around cutting my mother out despite it being what I needed to do. I find therapy helpful, talking about it to someone who isn't involved with the situation and can look at it from the outside. Talking really helped. When I am just trying to work things out in my own head , when I feel like no one understands, or I see my friends relationships with their mums, it is easy for me to feel panicked and overwhelmed. I also used phone helplines when I needed to talk things out, I've used both beyond blue and lifeline.
best of luck with it.
You are not alone.
It takes courage to do what you need to do for yourself.
I hope thing get easier and that you can begin to see yourself in a different light. I think that sometimes growing up in toxic family situations can warp our view of ourselves.
you are not alone
Warm regards
Sister moon
