Reducing my medication always makes me anxious

[tpman]

hi...

its not rebound from meds anxiety, its just anxiety I create in my own head. Because you see I have such a horrible history from anti-depressant withdrawal and also really really bad memories from a severe bout of depression a cpl years ago which led to me being sectioned.

I have improved soo much when I think about how bad I was, but I am having sleep issues and have had them for some time now which is really affecting my overall recovery.. So on the advice of my treating psych we are trying do lower the dose (slowly of course).

I already have a ton of anticipatory anxiety just at the thought of changing my doses even though its so small.

I guess I just want to know if its ok to take things slowly during this period. I have a history of avoidance behavior when I feel anxious which as we all know is a big no no, and I feel I am going to do some avoidance (social mainly) during the change in doses. I mean is it ok to avoid a little bit and just slowly build my courage up again ? I guess thats what I want to no ..

Anyways, wish me luck team !



Anxiety sux =(

[blondguy]

Hello TPman

I understand what you are going through with anticipatory anxiety....It can be awful to experience. I used to have chronic daily anxiety and my low dosage AD's helped me a lot...even though I was in denial for nearly 10 years and refused the prescription...until my anxiety exacerbated...ugh! This is my 24th year on low dose SSRI's and havent given much thought to coming off them..no particular reason why

Can I ask why you have decided to stop the antidepressants? (only if thats okay!)

I sorry for your sleep issues....that alone can increase our anxiety the next day without a doubt. Lac of quality sleep can be a result of many factors....yet its most common when we are experiencing some type of stress in our career or personal lives

Avoidance is a great point as when we continually confront our social anxiety issues it doesnt help our physiological well being...Good on you for mentioning that as we all need a break from 'facing' our anxiety too! Just my humble opinion of course through my own experience with anxiety

you are a very strong person TP and I hope you can stick around the forums....if you wish to that is!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[therising]

Hi tpman

I'll start by wishing you luck as you navigate your way through trying to balance your chemistry (a definite challenge).

Sounds like you have a pretty good psych. The fact that they listen to you and your struggle with the sleep issue is great. No denying it, sleep is such a major factor when it comes to naturally balancing our chemistry. Basically, it's one of the keys to restoring our energy for the day ahead. If that energy is not there, it can be incredibly hard to function.

I believe it's not such a bad thing to spend a little time in a state of self observation during the adjustment period. I still do this myself even though I left my depression behind me some time ago. I know it sounds a little strange but try observing your natural self as much as possible during this time. Give you a few examples:

• I observe my stress levels at times based on how much I sigh. Sighing is the body's way of naturally venting stress or excess unwanted energy. Most folk don't take notice of how much they actually sigh until you point it out to them. If I find myself sighing more than usual, I'll take it as a cue to do a little concentrated breathing for a couple of minutes. It's about consciously exhausting the build up
• If I'm feeling energy depleted and a little thirsty, I will go straight for a couple of tall glasses of water. If you're used to drinking water, you'll feel your body craving it or missing it. Personally, I drink pure water in order to make sure I'm not adding unwanted chemistry to the natural chemistry of my body. Not only does it give me a very slight boost in energy but it also gets my body's natural flushing system going. The methylation cycle of the body is incredibly complex. The flushing aspect of this cycle plays a highly significant role in how it works over all
• Experiment with simple things like music for example. Sounds a little crazy, I know. Music is known to alter our brainwaves and chemistry. Don't just experiment with different music, use the volume as well. When there's a song that lifts your spirits a tiny bit, turn up the volume (it may have a slightly greater impact)

Folk typically aren't taught to take time out to specifically focus on the natural sensitive aspects of them self. You can see this as an opportunity to raise your consciousness during this adjustment period.

You might also come to notice you're more sensitive to certain people, who perhaps you should be taking a break from (got a few of those in my life).

🙂

[tpman]

Thank you both for your responses.

To answer your question Paul why I want to reduce medication, it’s primarily to help sleep but also and probably more poineant is my history with medication and anxiety.

Without getting into to much detail,
I basically developed a real strong almost obsessional reliance on my medication in the past.

My entire adult life since 17 (now 33) I have been battling with medication, and can’t help but think for me it has caused so many more problems. Sexual side effects emotional numbing mainly, but also I feel it has stunted my personal development. Anything I achieved in my life I never felt fully satisfied as in my mind it was all fake as if I was cheating.

I came off medication about 4 years ago at a time in my life when I had a successful career. I had severe withdrawals which led me to lose my job and subsequently I fell into a severe melancholic agitated m depression and developed panic attacks.


I’m now house bound and on disability my life is pretty much over as I’m so traumatised by the events of the past 4 years and my life in general. I blame taking medication at 17 for ruining my life no different to how illegal narcotics ruin lives. Sure this may not be rational and I wouldn’t want anyone reading this to be deterred by medication as it can definitely help people, and I guess I’m grateful that the medication I was put on a couple years ago (different to the one I was on since 17) helped me no longer be severely suicidal and agitated/panicky, but I still have an issue with medication in general since I develop psychological dependencies on them.


Anyway, today wasn’t too bad. I asked my dad to give me some space today as I might be fragile which he did he was very supportive. I was a bit panicky this morning but it got better. Was able to take my dog out.


But been real down for the test of the day, just been dwelling so much about the last few years and how messed up my life is .


Honestly I think I need a better medication. But I’ve tried like all of them and the one I ended up on is an old school one which is reserved for treatment resistant depression. It’s got me out of my severe state but just not doing enough idk.. I think I need more external factors to make me feel better maybe it’s not just the meds but I just don’t have any confidence to do anything ughh


Sorry just rambling now


But it helps to get it off my chest


Thanks if you read and sorry for wall of text

[alasdayr]

tpman,

If your medical professional is advocating reduction, this is usually a good thing.Reducing medication can be very scary, considering what you described about your past. However, this may be sign that things are slowly getting better.

I hope you are also getting therapy along with the medication you are taking. Part of the goal of therapy is teaching you how to mentally deal with situations that you may encounter without falling back into old, self punishing habits.

We all have good days and bad days, myself included. I am thankful that today is a reasonable day for me so far. I know on bad days it's hard for me to make out any light at the end of what feels like a very long tunnel.

With persistence, medication and therapy based techniques, I feel confident that you will be able to increase the ratio of good days to bad days.


Alasdayr