Anxiety/ depression caused from work

[AverageAusGuy]

Hi everyone,

I have had depression and anxiety on and off my whole life that has been largely manageable until recently.

Over the past few years my anxiety and depression has gotten progressively worse mostly due to some negative work experiences that I seem to just keep accumulating.

I have had many jobs in my life (I am in my 30s) and I have had bad things happen in most (not all) of them that have slowly chipped away at my confidence and exasperated my anxiety and depression.

I have been bullied in the workplace, I have had managers that have sworn at me and spoke as if I wasn't even in the room, I have been criticised for my quiet personality, I have been put down, and I have been lied to about opportunities for development, I have had coworkers undermine my work or throw me under the bus in order to look better to management. Most recently I was fired from a job for no apparent reason (I think I just didn't fit in with the work culture there because I was specifically told that I had a great work ethic and do everything that was asked and "something is just missing"). I have never been fired before and this one really hit me hard because I know from client feedback I was doing great work.

I am trying really hard to put all of the negativity behind me and maybe realise that I have just had some bad luck with the jobs I have had in my life. I can't help but think that maybe I am the problem though or this is a normal part of working life?

I have always had a great work ethic and pride myself on doing a good job. I am never late and always act professionally. I know I have some really good qualities and abilities to offer.

I am starting a new job soon and I am very edgy and anxious about it all working out ok. I am on the lookout for anything negative and I am concerned about how I will perform in the new role because my anxiety is at a heightened state. I am trying not to carry any baggage over and come in on a fresh slate.

If anyone has had similar experiences or tips for me to overcome this at work I would greatly appreciate.

Thank you

[Emmen]

Hi AverageAusGuy,

You've had some bad work experiences but please remember that each experience is different and unique. Your intention to not carry any baggage over is a sound one because you need to give this new job a fair chance.

With regards to your old workplace, I don't think they can legally fire you without a valid reason. "Something is missing" does not sound to me as a valid reason for dismissal, especially when they've acknowledged that you have a good work ethic. I'd look into contesting that their decision if I were you. But maybe you want to put that behind you. Either way, it's your choice, there is no right or wrong decision.

One employer firing you without cause does not mean there is something wrong with you. They did not tell you what their grounds were for firing you, and you shouldn't fill in the blanks with your own guesses. Your co-workers being bullies again does not mean there is a problem with you, they sound like terrible people. Having a quiet personality is not a crime, nor is it a bad thing. In all honesty, any criticism you received about your personality is likely a matter of the work culture and expectations at that particular workplace, so don't take it to heart.

Working life can be a little unpredictable since you're dealing with a group of people, all with different personalities. Sometimes it takes time before you find a place that's a good fit for you. I feel your anxiety now, but remember that ultimately, you just have to be yourself at work. If the place is a good fit for you, you'll know it. If it isn't, it's time to move on and try another place.

All the best with your new workplace. Just remember that this is a fresh start and that you need to give this place a fair chance too.

Kindly,
M

[AverageAusGuy]

Hi Emmen,

Thanks for your response.

I did think about reporting my previous employer for unfair dismissal but to be honest I just want to focus on the future and I don't want the added stress.

I am hopeful that this new job will be a better fit for me. I will definitely give them a fair go. I am hopeful that a positive work environment will build my self esteem back up.

[Emmen]

Hi AverageAusGuy,

I'm glad to see you being to positive. The behaviour of other people shouldn't be the reason you feel good about yourself - you have to remember you already are good the way you are. You know your worth - you have a good work ethic and you do a good job. Take pride in that and ignore the haters.

All the best with this job!

Kindly,
M

[Petament]

Hi avg Aussie guy

I hear ya. Im in a similar situation, i think. The older i get, the harder i feel like it is to care, or pretend to for work. I think it's my environment. Looking for a change of jobs, a few ex colleagues say getting out of the work environment did their mental health wonders. Good luck to you.