Anxiety causing paranoia

[KawaiiOverlord]

I have been diagnosed with anxiety for a while now and have always had my loving boyfriend to help me through it. Recently I've become paranoid that he is cheating on me and doesn't love me anymore. I want to believe him when he says no but voices always tell me he is lying. I am terrified of losing him and don't want to live in a world without him, I am worried my paranoia is pushing him further away. He has always tolerated my anxiety and panic attacks in the past but I'm concerned this will push him over the edge. I love him so much it hurts.

Does anyone know how to stop paranoia, or actually get rid of anxiety? I feel like I have tried everything over the past 5 years (working with my psychologists) but nothing has ever worked. I feel like I am slowly ruining my own life but can't control my actions. Please help.

[Croix]

Dear KawaiiOverlord~

Welcome here. I have an anxiety condition and at times really believe the worst will happen, I'm not sure it is paranoia, I'm no doctor and that may be a technical term, however thinking your BF is not being straight with you or the relationship will end is similar to my feelings I've had.

A logical approach probably will not do the much good, proof he is faithful may not stop your mind from going back to worrying about future infidelities. So what to do?

Well if your BF is a loving and considerate person that is excellent. If logic does not work then trying to keep the cause under control is what's left, and this is the thing to aim for anyway. I'm sure your BF will not be the only thing you worry about, it can be a unpleasant and stressful life.

What do you think of telling your doctor or psych that you current therapy is not working? They may not realise how bad things are.

One of the standard things to reduce anxiety is to lead as healthy a lifestyle as you can , with exercise, nutrition and as good sleep as you can . Also trying to avoid stressors. I do not listen to the news for instance. Trying to defeat the thoughts as they arise. This can be exercise, even moving to a different room is exercise and can change thought patterns, as can a walk, maybe with someone else if they are around.

I use a free smartphone app called 'Smiling Mind' to break up thoughts going round and round, it takes practice but does work (you can switch the horrible background music off).

There are a couple of helpful places

Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY, which is a long thread here in the forum

and

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies

Which is Beyond blue's information about anxiety section.

Both are well worth persevering and reading though - or skimming though in the case of the thread - it is long!

Feel free to talk here as much as you wound like, we do understand.

Croix

[Ohdear]

The part at the end about slowly ruining your life but having no control over your actions is exactly how i feel. It wasnt a problem when we first started dating but the harder i fell for him the more jealous i became and now that we live together im even worse.

I try to talk myself into seeing sense and i try to believe that he actually loves me and wants to be with me but because i think so little of myself i find it hard and think he deserves someone better and its only a matter of time until he sees it too.

I can tell that this has put a strain on our relationship and i dont know if ill ever be able to get back what we had at the start.

Hes very good putting up with my nonsense but sometimes i wish he could feel or understand what im feeling not because i want him to hurt or feel this way forever i just want him to understand where jm coming from because i cant seem to get the words right to explain.

[Guest5643]

Hi kawaiiOverlord. I wish i had tips on how to stop paranoia and anxiety. Its destroyed my life and I'm just here for my elderly dog and cat now. I get so paranoid at times i get adamant people on bb are against me. May i suggest writing a letter to your boyfriend explaining how mental illness screws with the senses ect

[Croix]

Dear ohdear~

I think Helium has a good suggestion. A letter allows you time to get things right. Perhaps not just saying how your doubts and fears apply to your relationship but equally to other things too might lend it perspective. After all any letter that concentrates exclusively on the relationship may be seen as a 'relationship issue' when in fact it is simply part of a wider whole.

People can take things as a reflection on their own personality or conduct when in fact that is nothing to do with it.

An unrelated example I might use in this situation would be about my reaction to the phone ringing which had for a very long time given me great anxiety, the post in fact still does a bit. I"m sure you would be easily able to think of your own examples.

Croix