Hey Whaleshark,
You're definitely not alone my friend! I've had these kinds of thoughts to some degree or another for most of my adult life, working out what was going on beneath the surface for me so I could work out why I was doing the anxious stuff in the real world was what ended up reducing the anxiety. The good thing is that not everyone hates us, it's just that we develop that self-belief because we felt unsafe at some stage in our lives (even if the danger wasn't actually real) and the anxiety and the unrealistic thoughts that come along with it are things our brains use to keep themselves alert, on guard and ready just in case that lack of safety shows up again. The brain is very good at protecting itself, but realistically the alarm bells it rings are usually for danger that has well and truly past - and you are not alone in that, it's just how the human brain works!
What worked for me becoming less anxious was:
A.) becoming aware of the issue,
B.) realising that my thoughts/reactions weren't necessarily based in reality,
C.) working out where these thoughts and reactions first came up in my life,
D.) reminding myself that the danger is past when the anxiety comes up, and
E.) working with a psychologist to help deal with the triggers, and resolve the underlying patterns of thought.
Steps A-D you can do on your own, and E is really helpful to work out with a professional. But even just steps A-D can be really helpful as a starting place, and make an amazing difference themselves.
Happy to answer any questions re: my own process if it helps you with yours? Feel free to ask away...
R
