Anxiety and work

[kned]

I'm due back at work soon, after a year off with my second baby.

I have a history of Anxiety and social anxiety and the past year I've felt the best I have in ages! I guess I didn't have the stress of work, I was busy focusing on my kids and feeling comfortable in my own abilities.

I have been looking forward to my return to work. I've missed my workplace and the clients I work with. I was excited until yesterday where I had a meeting with my boss.

My boss has told me I'll be returning to a different role. At first I was flattered that they want me to do this role. But once it sunk in, I started to panic.

Im so upset that I can't do what I was doing previously. The role is similar but I'll be moved from my office (and the colleagues I know) to working on my own, from a hot desk in a busy office. The role involves lots of approaching people... Something that I don't feel comfortable doing at all with my social anxiety.

I've been feeling anxious enough about returning to work, and now this on top has caused me to completely panic. I rarely slept last night and feel so sick today.

I could talk to my boss but what can I say? That I have Anxiety about this new role? That I want my old role back but know this is being filled by someone else already? I'd look weak and really being socially anxious is not something I see them accepting.

I'm at the point where I want to quit, which is extreme. We cannot afford for me to quit. I do like employer and I want to work . I just don't want the new role they propose.

I also don't want to be anxious all the time, that will then affect my husband and children. I get distracted, irritable, panic.about irrational things (kids getting sick or harmed, losing my husband etc) when my anxiety is bad.

I want to be relaxed and calm like how I have been. I can't see a way around this.

I also don't want to have to see a psychologist just to be able to function at my job.

I'm not sure what advice people can give but I need to write this down, possibly to those who understand how I'm feeling. I don't know what to do..

[blondguy]

Hi Kned

Good on you for having the courage to post about your situation

Returning back to our job after a break of any type can be stressful as well an anxious time. Especially when your boss has been making a change when you were on maternity leave.

I find it strange that you weren't consulted before the changes being made...I wouldnt have done that when I was in management...but then Im not your boss

Any anxiety can be a major pain. Ive had it off and on for a few years.

You dont necessarily need to see a psychologist however they can help with the transition to your new role.

If the anxiety is effecting the quality of your day to day life (and sleep) It is crucial that you see your GP as soon as you can. They have better training with anxiety compared to even a few years ago.

Anxiety can be similar to a physical injury....you would have to seek medical care with a torn tendon or a illness

The anxiety you feel now can be treated successfully starting with a double appointment with your GP

The forums are a safe and rock solid secure place for you to post kned.

I hope you can back to us when convenient for you

my kind thoughts

Paul

[kned]

Thank you Paul for your response, I really appreciate it.

I find it strange they didn't discuss it with me too. However I guess my actual job hasn't changed, just the program I'll be working with.

I've been in a state of panic all weekend and cannot stop crying. I just want to quit but I know that not the best decision.

My husband wants me to talk to my boss tomorrow, or even email her my thoughts. But I really can't explain it properly! I'll have to try though.

I've been managing so well for so long. This has just hit and I just can't cope.

[blondguy]

Hi Kned

Thanks for posting back!

Your husband is spot on. Your boss has to know your concerns. I used to be a chronic worrier on the weekend too when I drama happening at work. You are not alone here.

Just an idea if thats okay

Have a cuppa and if you can clear your mind and send your boss an email. Keep it brief and to the point. Polite yet let her know your concerns. Of course mention that you enjoy working for the company and even say that you have learned a lot off her experience (she will love that)

If you can write this email soon you will feel a lot better as you will take a lot of weight off your shoulders...

You may even be able to enjoy the rest of your weekend as well 🙂

I learned years ago (takes practice) that banging your head against a brick wall on a weekend wont change anything. Its a huge waste of precious mental energy.

The email doesnt have to be an A4...just a couple of paragraphs asking her for her assistance re your situation at work. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by doing so Kned.

You are stronger than you think....you can do it and then treat yourself after you send the email 🙂

let us know how you go when convenient if you wish

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[kned]

Thank you, you have been so very helpful.

I followed your advice and I did email my boss. I have asked she contact me to discuss things further.

I do feel so much better knowing I have emailed her, and expressed my concerns. I am working on distracting myself for now, and focusing on my family and other interests. You made a really good point about wasting energy by banging your head on the door!

Thanks again 🙂

[blondguy]

No worries Kned and thanks for posting back 🙂

Your husband was spot on in making contact...he is a legend

That would have taken a lot of guts to email your boss when you were doing it hard. Kudos to you Kned

I hope you can let us know how you go.....if you wish to of course

Your post just made my day Kned

I hope you can treat yourself for being so proactive and posting on the weekend.....you deserve to!

This is your thread and we are still here for you 🙂

my best

Paul

[Nervybella]

Hey Kned,

Welcome to the forums!

Good on you for posting, I'm sure a lot of people will find this them read useful.

It is hard enough to go back to work after a few suck days, let alone a year, so I can imagine how stressful that must be.

It does seem odd that your boss would change your role without consulting you first- but like the advice you've been given, you need to speak up.

I hope your boss is accepting and understanding of your feelings.

Please let us know how you get on if you feel up to it.

Best of luck with everything,

Bella

[kned]

Hi Paul and Bella,

Coming back on here and seeing your replies, has made me feel very supported and heard. So thank you!

It seems there is more to the story. I have had discussions with my boss as well as HR over the past few days. I also contacted Fair Work Australia about my rights to return to my original role following parental leave.

I've learnt that I have every right to return to my old role, and my workplace has done the wrong thing by me. They have given my replacement MY role for a further 12 months, and basically told me I have to do this other role as thats all they have left for me. They did not consult me at all. I have expressed my concern via phone calls and in email and they haven't even apologised or even acknowledged me!

I spoke to a psychologist yesterday who was really helpful. It has come down to my deciding whether I will fight for my rights, or resign and move on.​

[Nervybella]

Hello Kned,

Wow- I'm so sorry it has come down to that. It really sucks that your boss has done this.

Is there anyone else at your work you could talk to about this?

Good on you for seeking professional help, both from Fair Work and a psychologist

Do you have a gut instinct telling you which way to go?

We are here for you, please don't be a stranger.

Bella

[Diamondback]

Hi Kned

sounds like they have you in a tough spot. I had the first of my continuous anxiety start at work about 6 months ago I had anxiety attack while at work and after that it took me a long time to feel comfortable in going back. I still 'jumped back on the bike' and went back to work the following day only to feel the anxiety building and building I became so scared of having another anxiety attack at work but kept at it and through the support of people in my life and seeking help from the doctor and councillor it gets easier every day... Sometimes it's the thought of doing something which is actually worse then doing it and having anxiety has taught me you can make mountains out of mole hills. Don't get me wrong some days I just can't do it but most of the time it's ok and I even find myself starting to enjoy my job again. Hope this might be a little helpful good luck with everything