Anxiety affecting my job. Help

[Wonderland]

Hi my name is Alice.

i have had GAD for 5 years and depression for around a year following a traumatic family event.

I work at bunnings. My anxiety and depression makes me overly sensitive to criticism and I can get very distressed if I feel like someone is upset with me. There is one woman that I have worked with who is very critical, and makes it known when she is upset with people. As you can guess, this woman was very triggering for me to work with. I asked my coordinator if I could be moved out of that area without going into specifics. He agreed but then did nothing. I became very depressed at work and used to duck down behind the lemon trees at the very back and cry while I watered them. Work became a terrible place for me to be. Because of how terrible I felt I suppose my job performance began to slip. This made things worse because the team member who I feared, would talk about me behind my back and it just got worse and worse. When I had my review (a scheduled review of everyone’s job performance) (which by the way wasn’t very good) my coordinator asked “are you happy working here?” And I broke down in tears. And not small cute tears. Like ugly sobbing tears. I opened up about my anxiety and how I had been feeling, and begged to be moved out of nursery. Again he agreed but did nothing. It went on for weeks, and although my shifts were reduced in nursery, I was still out there majority of the time. I had several more break downs at work, each time begging to be moved out of nursery, and each time not being taken seriously. I talked to another leader and asked to be moved into his department again I felt like I was met with empty promises. After months of this I am now only in nursery 1 day out of 4. Then queue my next issue. I also suffer from migraines and have had migraines lots of times, a few of those times I have gone home sick. The other day I was almost in a car accident and the seatbelt hurt my shoulder. I asked to go home to rest and recover and my coordinator wasn’t happy. I’m really upset and worried because he said he wants to talk to me about my health, but he said it in a way like I was doing something wrong. I consider myself to be a hard worker. I never stand around or talk, but I feel like because of all these issues my coordinator thinks less of me, and thinks I am dramatic.

[Autumn77]

Hi Alice,

I'm sorry your feeling this way. And it sounds terrible what you are going through. It's a shame management are not supportive.

Honestly I don't know what advice to give. My dad always use to say to me as a child, 'it doesn't matter'. Later in life I now say to myself, I'm not dying, I know, a bit dark. But that's what helps me put things in order of severity of a situation. Maybe find your inner voice of strength and hear what it's saying to you. Or imagine what your parents would say...or parter etc.

I hope this helps?

[Summer Rose]

Hi Wonderland

Sounds like you are having a tough time at work but making some slow progress talking with your employer. I understand your employer has been slow to act but am really pleased that you are now spending just one day per week in nursery.

I am an employer and I want to reassure you that you have done nothing wrong. It's ok to ask for help at work when you need it. It's also ok to access your sick leave when you need it.

I also think it reasonable that your coordinator reach out for a welfare check. I would expect he/she to offer support.

Now I know you are concerned by the tone you picked up on and you could be right. However, you could also have misinterpreted. It's possible your coordinator was simply busy or concerned about other matters and the tone had nothing to do with you.

Try to relax. Remember you don't have to share anything about your health that you don't want to.

Perhaps have a think about what's working and not working for you at work and how your employer could help you to improve your performance. It is your employer's responsibility to help you improve. Perhaps some further training or mentoring would help. Don't know enough about the performance issues to say.

I wish you the best of luck with the meetinf and if you feel up to it please let us know how it goes.

Kind thoughts to you

[Here_I_am]

Hi Alice,

I can appreciate how frustrating your work situation must be, and how even when you're the one doing the right things you still find yourself on the bottom somehow.

One thing you might be able to do in regard to action is to put your request to be moved out of a stressful environment in writing. This process escalates (not in a bad way) your communication and involves higher levels of staff/management in the process, such as HR; in short your employer has to respond officially to your request once it is in writing. It is a potential way to avoid future empty promises and lip service to your request, which as you outline would go a long way to lessening some of the main issues you're having.

The upcoming meeting is also a great opportunity for you to perhaps clarify how the situation in the nursery is confounding your health - move you out of the nursery, and a reduction in anxiety will lead to a reduction in overall unwellness.

I want to encourage you to ensure that 'the problem' doesn't just travel with you though. It would be horrible if you got exactly what you wanted only to find working in the BBQ area or the timber section is exactly the same for you on the inside. Are you able to speak with anyone outside of work in a professional capacity to ensure your coping and management strategies are effective? Do you have any tools (i.e., mindfulness, CBT, etc.) that you use effectively to manage-in-the-moment anxiety/panic?

I hope you have a positive outcome in regard to your workplace situation, but most of all I hope your anxiety stops costing you so much in life.

Hope to hear how things go for you Alice.