Anxiety about staying away from home

[Busylife]

Hello. I am seeking some advise please. I have had a diagnosis of anxiety for a number of years. I feel as I have got older the more intense the feelings. Anyway I have always had a fear of staying away from home, as a small child. I know where this comes from, my alcoholic father. I always felt I needed to be home to protect my mum. Moving on I lost my husband at age 28, his body never found. Went on and married a beautiful man who is very supportive, kind and close to perfect. Lucky me!

So at the end of day I know where this whole overwhelming feeling of anxiety stems from when I am confronted with having to stay away for more than a night from home. Which brings me to my current situation.
My workplace has asked me to fly to a new area for 5 nights work. Initially I said yes, as this is what happens I have waves of feeling "I can do this" but once again after I commit, as I have done, my stomach is churning, I want to cry, one minute I am telling myself this will be ok, the next Im as flat as pancake wanting to run or fake an illness. Its a constant roller coaster of emotion that consumes me.

The last time I stayed away from home without my husband was for 5 nights at a retreat who worked through some of these issues with me (which is now why I can pinpoint and understand my why) but I was an emotional wreck each night desperately seeking any opportunity I could to get home.

Just a little more info, I am absolutely fine to stay away if my husband is with me. I have even stayed away for 3 nights with my son and coped fine. This was sometime ago and as I mentioned earlier this whole fear appears to be growing bigger as I age. Currently 45.

My primary question is should I force myself to do this, go on this work trip solo? Would cancelling be giving in to the irrational thoughts, even though I can not exactly identify what my exact fear is, despite knowing where it stems from?

Thank you for any advice.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Busylife...

A warm welcome to the forums...I’m really sorry that’s its taken a while for a reply...

I can relate to your story about having anxiety when staying away from home...on you own...

Is it possible for your husband to go with you?...Maybe your anxiety is because you will be alone for those nights or the unfamiliar surroundings and gives you a feeling a feeling of being vulnerable..

No one can make that decision for you..I feel it’s something that you and your husband need to make together....

Faking a sickness to stay at home...is something that in months or years to come you might regret....On the other hand forcing yourself out of your comfort zone..can be good for you or it could make your anxiety worse....it’s a hard choice..and I’m sorry I couldn’t help you very much..

Maybe you start to write down on a piece of paper the pros and cons of going verses not going...or talk to your boss and share your anxieties with him/her...

My kind thoughts with care..

Grandy..

[Busylife]

Thank you Grandy🙂.

I decided to cancel the trip and advise my workplace I have anxiety in relation to it.

Feeling disappointed that another life experience has been missed and resigned myself to this being my life in the hope I can come to some sort of acceptance.

Appreciate your reply

Kylie