Dear 99isthebest~
I think you are going to know waht I'm going to say before I say it, however hearing from someone else (who had sexual dysfunction due to his condition) may give you some reassurance.
First off the important thing is your partner, not sex. Interacting with your partner, getting to understand and care for her are more important than you can possibly understand at the start.
Second having sex takes two people and time to make it enjoyable and a 'together' activity. And the first time is probably not going to be technically wonderful for either person, however it is wonderful in other ways. That first time can put a lot of pressure and expectations on one or both persons, not a helpful thing at all.
If you worry about your performance not being what you think it should, that creates a sort of self-defeating loop.You end up convinced, based on the last time, things are never going to improve and that the relationship will fail.
Patience, time and dealing with the underlying anxiety/OCD problem I would think is the answer. I improved as my condition improved.
Explaining matters to a partner is, at least for me, vital. If she does not understand what is happening she may well feel it is a shortcoming in herself, and will also not be as able to understand properly and help you.
Putting a burden on a partner is OK, becuse as time goes on it will turn around and there will be other things where she has to burden you -that's how it works.
As a simple precaution I'd get myself checked out for any physical problems, apart from that perhaps as stress free and relaxing a time as possible might be helpful. Also if you are on meds if they might be having an effect.
Croix
