Am I weak because I can't think of any comebacks?

[KFPDW]

Hey, so I have been bullied in the past when I was in highschool, at work and even at home by my younger sister, who is four years younger than me. I get stuck in a position where it feels like I can't think of any comebacks. It's like I freeze on the spot and anything I do try to say gets dismissed or they have the upper hand. They have the satisfaction of winning the argument and get away with their negative actions. And I feel like such a a loser. It feels like no matter what I say to anyone, I would just get ignored or overlooked. Because what I have to say doesn't matter. Am I weak for never thinking of a comeback or something that would stop bullies in their tracks? And it feels like my Mum sides with my sister because I'm older and I'm usually the mature and reasonable one in the family. I always try to be kind to others so does that make me a easy target. A punching bag people can throttle so they can feel good about themselves. I know most people are going through a hard time like my sister but I don't think it's fair to take it out on me. But if I try to fight back, it suddenly feels like I am the one in the wrong because I'm told I need to be more considerate of those struggle even though they're taking it out on me. It's not fair. It's like I am in a catch 22. No matter what I do, it feels like things will always be unfair. Am I weak for not even thinking of a solid comeback? 😞 

[Flowergirl97]

Hi, I just read your post and even though I haven’t been in your exact situation I have felt the same many times before. Sometimes it is so very hard to think of the perfect thing to say in response to a bully or when someone says something to you that makes you feel hurt. That is 100% not your fault. I can guarantee that everyone has experienced this from someone before no matter if they are family or a stranger. Work is a tricky one and more likely than not a bully in the workplace has problems of their own that is personal to them and that they are taking out on you so it is most likely not personal in my opinion. The best way I believe in to get yourself through a situation like that is to decide what kind of person you want to be when someone treats you badly. If you treat others badly in response, then you will be someone who treats others badly. In this way, even if you come up with the absolute best come back to a bully, what is that saying about you as a person? It is 100% good to stand up for yourself but you also need to hold yourself accountable for your own actions even when facing a bully. Sometimes the best response to a bully is to distance yourself from them because why would someone want to spend time with a bully? Other times being extra polite and even respectful to a bully can throw them off guard. If you need to stand up for yourself, do so politely and keep your integrity strong to show them that they aren’t going to get a bad reaction out of you. And that way it is obvious who the real bully is…. So you don’t need to win an argument or have the best come back, you just need to make a choice to be a good person to others no matter what life throws at you which is far more powerful and respectable in the long run