Assignment Anxiety

[BeBrave]

Hi,

I'm new here but I'm not new to anxiety.

When I was in high school I developed this fear of assignments and public speaking, at one point I went to the doctors and he diagnosed me with social anxiety, he prescribed me medication but I refused to take it. I didn't want to fight this with drugs, I just wanted to be able to over come it. Myself. And I did, well the public speaking part. One day in high school I had to do a long speech and ever since then I slowly got over my fear of speaking in public. (Sounds simple, but it wasn't!) Don't get me wrong I still get nervous but I've learnt to push my self into situations where I have to do presentations and speak in class discussions. But the anxiety when doing assignments has never really gone away. I procrastinate to the point where I either rush the assignment or I leave it completely for the next day (past the due date).

I am in my final year at university and I am still absolutely terrified of doing my assignments, and I think its gotten worse because I have gotten more busy, with uni, on top of work, family stuff and searching for a job. Is this what I am going to be like when I start a job and have to complete tasks on a deadline? I don't understand this irrational fear and it frustrates me because I KNOW I can do it, its not like I don't have good grades. I think its the fact that I'm being judged that ultimately scares me. That people will be looking at my work and being like thats just not good enough or you haven't done it right. I think thats why I procrastinate, because If I leave it to the last minute then I don't have that time to sit and worry about it and all I care about is getting it done and submitting it. But I do care, I care about what marks I get and I end up hating myself for not being able to start it earlier or finishing it on time and thinking I could have done better if I started earlier.

In the end I'm writing this because I need advice, how do I finally get over it? I have literally started smiling in the mirror every time I need to start/ continue an assignment because apparently you can trick yourself into thinking your not scared. Is it working? not yet. But hopefully soon. Otherwise if anyone has any suggestions on how I can overcome this anxiety that would be great, because I am sick and tired of repeating this cycle. I just don't want to feel this way anymore.

Thanks in advance to anyone who replies to this 🙂

- BeBrave

[Croix]

Dear BeBrave~

Anxiety over assignments is a horrible thing, causes all sorts of hassles in your life as they become due, and also stops you performing at your best - denying you the mark you are really capable of.

I've seen the problem from both sides. I went to study whilst suffering PTSD, bouts of depression and most importantly for this post - anxiety. Now I'm not saying everything I did you can do, I had time on my hands.

I tackled it in three ways The easiest was the practical, ensuring I handed it in just before the deadline (so I got all the updates/alterations to questions). Ensured that it was in the right format and so on. Plus technique - doing the easiest bits first (also applies to exams)

Secondly by knowing the subject matter backwards, takes a LOT of time, questions to the lecturer/tutor, perhaps a study group. Making sure you actually answer the question, and do so using the points the marker is looking for.

Thirdly medical support -the bit you refused before. I had regular visits to a psychiatrist and meds plus therapy. This extended over into lifestyle with exercise, regular hours, no booze or drugs, attempting good sleep, a balance with distractions and things I enjoyed against study, chores and so on.

An advantage of medical support is that it allows you to see Student Disability Services (a confidential department) who can assist with deadlines and deferrals.

I believe it is not realistic to soldier on to your own detriment due to finding medical support unacceptable. Hopefully with treatment the problem will lessen until you reach the stage of performing unassisted.

I'd be very pleased if you came back and said what you thought.

Croix

[BeBrave]

Hi Croix,

Thank you for replying, the thing with my anxiety is that I can't bring myself to start assignments early. I know it would be so much easier if I do but I just can't do it. Like right now, I have an assignment due Monday and I need to have it done by tonight so that I can get a bit of studying in for my exam on Tuesday but I just can't bring myself to do it. Im so scared and it frustrates me because I know its stupid. I know what I need to talk about and it's not even hard, so what is stopping me from doing it? I'm so mad at myself for not doing it earlier and but every time I pull out my computer and try to start it I just end up procrastinating. I guess that's my flight response kicking in.

As for your suggestion on taking medication, I don't think its unacceptable. I'm just scared. I'm scared it'll make me lose myself. Like I'll be out of it most of the time, or that ill be judged for it. When I sought medical advise, everyone in my family, besides my mum, said I don't need to take medication, that there is nothing wrong with me and that It'll go on its own. And I know that unless I change something, it won't go away on its own. I honestly don't want to start taking medication. I guess it all comes down to not wanting to admit that this is serious and that there's actually something wrong with me.

Why can't I just fast forward two weeks to when I won't have anymore assignments or exams to do?

Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks again!

BeBrave

[Croix]

Dear BeBrave~

Um, everyone would like to sometimes fast-forward their lives to get over the difficult bits, a nice idea but you would end up wishing away more and more, not leaving you much at all. A life may have difficulties at times, but can lead to accomplished, pride and self-worth.

It really is a better idea to overcome your illness. You know how to do it, see a GP and get started down the road. You were worried that you will lose yourself by taking meds. Well yes that is the idea, the bit that freezes from fear of failure, the bit that treats yourself with scorn for failing to do things, all those sort of things do need removing. Your life can be so much better.

No doubt you have an impression of taking meds that is all the negative symptoms you have heard about. First off you are in charge, and in conjunction with your doctor you map out a strategy and see if it works. If not you rewind and try another. I had top do that a lot until I ended up with a stable effective regime.

Plus in many cases there is therapy, and this is most important, and gives you the chance to work on improving.

You family sounds frankly like a bunch of self styled medical 'experts'. Ignorance does not help. So ignore them. People that really care would want the best for you and be willing to explore every avenue to get you there.

I do hope you can see that you do have options, you are not just stuck

Croix

[Guest_59363386]

I feel the same way. It's hard.