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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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KEIRAISHERE I don't know what to do.
  • replies: 2

Hi all, when I was 18 months I was removed from my mother and father due to child neglection and domestic abuse, I grew up with 6 brothers and I was the only girl for 10-11 years until 2 other girls were fostered. When I was 6-7 I was getting sexuall... View more

Hi all, when I was 18 months I was removed from my mother and father due to child neglection and domestic abuse, I grew up with 6 brothers and I was the only girl for 10-11 years until 2 other girls were fostered. When I was 6-7 I was getting sexually assaulted by my 2nd oldest brother. (He was technically my cousin.). As a kid I never got the talk and didn't know that it was wrong, I kept that to myself for 16 years. When I was 15, My uncle started touching me inappropriately too, And I lived with him and saw him every day.That went on longer than what my 2nd eldest brothers did. I also grew up with verbal, emotional, and physical abuse being the least favourite child, I was also the 4th eldest out of 8, so I was the middle child, I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was at least 8 which annoyed my auntie and uncle because I'd always talk and talk and talk and never be able to focus until they put me on medication to hopefully shut me up, I was always being picked on by the younger and elder siblings except for my younger sisters who I ended up protecting from being bullied since they were the youngest out of us all. When I was 16, I went to this camp and we were all talking about family problems and somehow I brought up the fact I was being sexually assaulted at home which ended up with me being removed with my sibilings from my auntie and uncle, I had to have interviews with cops and describe everything in detail on camera with a microphone thing nearby, I ended up getting nervous and stressed all the time leading me to have breakdowns and Self-harm. I don't know how to cope with all this since since I still haven't gone to court or anything like that, my breakdowns and panic attacks are getting worse and my motivation and appetite have completely disappeared. I do have 2 therapists they don't relly help, and im seeking advice to distact myself from it all. Thank you for reading all of that.

Som High Heart Rate, no identifiable trigger
  • replies: 3

Hi All, Ive read through lots of BB forums but wanted to get some experience/advise for myself. Ive had anxiety since I can remember. During my 20's I remember my panick attacks being my heart rate sky rockets for what I feel is no identifiable reaso... View more

Hi All, Ive read through lots of BB forums but wanted to get some experience/advise for myself. Ive had anxiety since I can remember. During my 20's I remember my panick attacks being my heart rate sky rockets for what I feel is no identifiable reason. Once it's up I feel like it sometimes doesn't come down for weeks, this scares me. I'm now I'm my mid 30's, the panick attacks have continued in seasons and never fully gone away, I don't think they ever will. I've gone to therapy which has helped and I'm in therapy currently but I just can't seem to get past the physical feelings I have and no matter how many times I see a GP or get tests in convinced something it wrong with my. Ive been getting headaches, dizziness that will last the whole day and lately the heart palpitations are back. Doesn't matter if I'm sitting still, standing pushing my kid on a swing, my heart rate can sky rocket at any point. I feel like I'm at a point in my life that I should be relaxed. I'm not working, don't have worries financially and have 2 healthy happy children but here I sit with these feelings that there is constantly something physically wrong with me. My partner doesn't want to hear it anymore, he thinks I'm a hypochondriac and in starting to think I am to! I have never tried medication, is that something that should directly help with these physical symptoms of anxiety? I'm scared to try medication, even herbal supplements. It just all worries me. Any advice would be great

Horrendous_Hexapod My Obsessions Have Ruined my Life
  • replies: 2

I’ve been an anxious person for pretty much my whole life. From childhood to now I’ve had a variety of bizarre, almost crippling fears and anxieties, mainly about the end of the world, religious guilt, etc. For the last few years, however, these anxi... View more

I’ve been an anxious person for pretty much my whole life. From childhood to now I’ve had a variety of bizarre, almost crippling fears and anxieties, mainly about the end of the world, religious guilt, etc. For the last few years, however, these anxieties have just gotten worse and worse, constantly stirring around in my mind in a seemingly endless cycle. I was originally just obsessed with stuff like creationism, I would constantly obsess over the things creationists would say to disprove evolution and take it upon myself to thoroughly read through it and try to debunk everything. Pretty soon, however, that shifted over to conspiracy theories, namely things like dinosaurs never existed of flat earth and the like. Looking back on it now, these theories were always completely stupid, but because I’ve always loved dinosaurs I took it personally and tried to obsessively debunk every single conspiracy blog, video, podcast, etc, dedicated to this conspiracy, and that was my main obsession between 2017 and 2021. At the start of 2020, however, I also began to delve into some unsavoury things regarding politics, generally websites and videos that spouted off terrible, hateful things directed towards women, people of colour, LGBT, and quite a few others. While most people would typically just ignore this stuff and move on with their lives, for some reason I just couldn’t do that, especially since some of the people spouting these things tried to use science or statistics to prove their points, so I forced myself to analyse as much as I can no matter how much I hated every minute of it. I don’t want to get into the “science” these people used, but it was generally highly biased, cherry picked sources which at best didn’t fully support their beliefs or were built on sketchy foundations and at worst didn’t make any sense at all regardless of how much I tried to understand it. And so much of this contradicted with other sources that I just didn’t know what to believe at times.But I just do take this any more. I’m living in a constant state of fear and anxiety that every single thought or opinion I have is wrong, with this little voice in my head constantly nagging me to look into these things or else I’m being wilfully ignorant. And it’s not just a few times a week, it’s pretty much every day. These thoughts just keep ruminating in my head, with a worrying thought appearing in my mind and me trying to use my own logic and research to combat it which just devolves into me repeating the same things over and over in my head for what’s sometimes hours. And when one thought eventually fades another just takes its place. Sometimes I don’t cave into my obsessive need to research these topics, and I’m left feeling this gnawing sense of guilt over choosing not to engage my obsessions, but whenever I do cave I just feel so drained and tired with this pit in my chest, like I’m forcing myself to stay awake for hours on end. In fact, I’ve actually stayed up well into the early morning doing this, as well as take time away from things I could be doing, like studying or my hobbies. Sometimes my obsessions even cause me to research the same things over and over again just in case I missed something potentially world shattering.I just don’t know what to do anymore. My obsessive tendencies and anxieties feel like some kind of hideous parasite that burrowed into the bask of my skull and started pumping chemicals into my brain to control me. Every time I promise myself that I’m not gonna look these things up or stop obsessing altogether, I eventually just break again and start the cycle again. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Jay19788 Not myself anymore
  • replies: 2

Hello, over the last few years I have been hit with 1 thing after another, from my wife miscarrieing, to my son losing consciousness and unresponsive for over an hour(still don’t know what caused it) my wife’s sister smashed our house windows and sli... View more

Hello, over the last few years I have been hit with 1 thing after another, from my wife miscarrieing, to my son losing consciousness and unresponsive for over an hour(still don’t know what caused it) my wife’s sister smashed our house windows and sliced every tire on both cars, our house took 3 years to build, while we moved house 4 times while waiting. i think I have social anxiety, I don’t have any friends, I am happiest when by myself drinking and smoking.. My mum became very ill a couple of years ago , so I became her carer as well as working full time and looking after my wife and 2 kids, my boy was born with a cleft and my girl is an autistic teenager(not biologically mine) there is so much more to add to that, recently my mother passed, and now my anxiety goes through the roof.. at shopping centers I feel like a ghost , feels like everyone looks through me. it has got so bad that I can only feel pain now, I battle with myself daily to go to work, I feel like an empty shell, emotionless..my marriage is falling apart, I will lose my job soon for too much time off. but I just don’t care anymore…. why keep trying when everything I work for gets snatched away. I haven’t eaten in 2 weeks, I am lucky if I get 2 hours sleep a night.. I am developing health issues that I can’t afford to get treated.. I have spoken with counselors and my gp.. but nothing helps.. I am constantly getting lost in my own head fighting with myself… garden statues seem to move as if they are real, I constantly think someone is out to get me. Dead animals have been left on my doorstep.. I think all the drugs I used when I was younger is starting to have an effect on my brain.. I don’t know what to do…..

Aussie.Girl Still feeling stuck, idk what to do
  • replies: 4

I need some advice on where to go from here. I left my job at the end of 2023 because I was feeling overwhelmed and it was beginning to trigger RSI (particularly in my hand/wrist). I also thought that having less responsibility for a while would redu... View more

I need some advice on where to go from here. I left my job at the end of 2023 because I was feeling overwhelmed and it was beginning to trigger RSI (particularly in my hand/wrist). I also thought that having less responsibility for a while would reduce my stress but it hasn't really made much difference. I had all these plans of things I wanted to do and couldn't because work was taking so much of my time and energy, and I have barely started any of them. I think part of the problem is when people ask about what I want in life the answer is a modest house somewhere not too far from basic necessities on a couple of acres so I can have my horse at home instead of agisted elsewhere. And I don't know how I will ever be able to achieve that. Even if I were earning 100k a year it wouldn't be enough by myself to afford something like that. If I ever could, I would probably be middle-aged or even older by then and I'm not sure I'll be able to enjoy it the way I could now (at 27). And then in terms of everyone asking what kind of job I want (given I am currently unemployed) the honest answer is that ideally I don't want to work at all (no one does, do they?) but that's not possible. So the answer then becomes a job with 3-4 days a week of simple tasks with minimal pressure/deadlines and no working outside of 'work hours'. I'm not sure if that job exists though... My ex-boss has offered me "just a couple of days work" in Feb because she needs to take a couple of days off, but I'm reluctant to say 'yes' because I think I would just get dragged back into exactly what I was doing before. The couple of days would turn into, can you help on X day too, and then maybe two days the following week etc and it would be as if I never left. If I could guarantee it would only be 2-3 days I'd say yes, but I can't. And I'm aware I could say no to the additional shifts but I had a hard enough time leaving the first time due to being shy and non-confrontational. But if I'm just going to sit around doing nothing anyway maybe its better I do go back, because at least then I'm earning money. I've had a look at other jobs but none of the ones I've seen so far would be a good fit for me, so idk what to do. I really thought having some time off would mean I could reflect on myself and decide on my next career path but I just feel overwhelmed and stressed any time I think about it. I should also add that my life outside of work isn't exactly stress free and I'm actually starting to think work was less stressful... This could also influence my 'i want my own house' mentality. Renting isn't an option because I don't want someone else to be able to tell me I can't have pets or put up fences etc. My goals just seem perpetually out of reach and I can't see a way to fix that. Should I just go back to my old job until I figure it out? Any advice would be appreciated. I just feel so lost and I really have no idea what to do.

Scott_O Hypochondria, Cant Keep Living Like this
  • replies: 2

Hello my names Scott, im 25 i really struggle with health anxiety, after a while of having anxiety i started getting stomach issues, bloating, burps and cramps, i went to a doctor regarding it l, they narrowed it to stress, i had blood tests that cam... View more

Hello my names Scott, im 25 i really struggle with health anxiety, after a while of having anxiety i started getting stomach issues, bloating, burps and cramps, i went to a doctor regarding it l, they narrowed it to stress, i had blood tests that came back fine, other than elevated cholestrol which then lead me to losing weight, i started at 125kgs im down to 106 ive now noticed this little fat nodules or whatever you call them, they absolutely freaked me out the fear of death has never been so strong that im honestly at the point where i would trade my existence to never have existed at all, just so i didnt have to go through this suffering. I work 5 days a week 8am to 5pm i get no time to see a therapist or a psych, my mum is my support but i feel as if i burden her too much with my problems so im in a constant state of guilt, its just all so hard

jcjc06 I I think I have accidentally made myself bad at my job
  • replies: 2

I've been employed at a cafe for approximately three months, and overall, my performance has been pretty good, especially considering my limited experience compared to my colleagues. The managers/ owners have consistently expressed their satisfaction... View more

I've been employed at a cafe for approximately three months, and overall, my performance has been pretty good, especially considering my limited experience compared to my colleagues. The managers/ owners have consistently expressed their satisfaction, praising me for being 'switched on' and even surprising me with cash bonuses on multiple occasions. However, recently, I've noticed an increase in my mistakes, and I believe it's linked to a self-fulfilling prophecy I have created for myself. When I make a simple error and receive feedback, I tend to dwell on it, overshadowing the positive feedback and compliments I've received. This focus on the negatives has led to heightened nervousness about work, and I've started viewing myself as an inadequate worker prone to avoidable mistakes. This mindset even extends to my personal time, where I find myself contemplating self-punishment for the day's errors. At one point, I considered returning the cash bonuses, convinced I didn't deserve them and had let down my employers.How do I stop these thoughts? How do I stop making these dumb mistakes? How do I stop letting myself down? This is really impacting my mental health, work is all I can think about it, I can't help but look up the cafe on Google just to make sure there are no bad reviews.

Anthony_a 24/7 muscle twitches and my story
  • replies: 4

For the last 5 weeks I’ve had 24/7 muscle twitching mainly in my calves and occasionally in other body parts. This started after having the most intense anxiety of my life for a period of about 2 months straight. Prior to the twitching I wasn’t sleep... View more

For the last 5 weeks I’ve had 24/7 muscle twitching mainly in my calves and occasionally in other body parts. This started after having the most intense anxiety of my life for a period of about 2 months straight. Prior to the twitching I wasn’t sleeping. I was having multiple panic attacks a day. Barely hydrated. Just in panic mode 24/7. I went to the ER on 3 seperate occasions because I thought I was having a heart attack. I was then convinced I had heart issues due to consistent heart palpitations and a very fast heart rate that came out of nowhere. I had 3 ECG’S & a 24 hour heart monitor. It came back clear every time. I then started having severe stomach & digestive issues. I then became convinced I had colon cancer because of the ongoing symptoms I was displaying. I had a CT Scan of my abdomen & organs, X-ray. Everything came back clear. Blood work was fine but tested weak positive for celiac disease. This lead to me having a complete mental breakdown, more regular panic attacks & I even ended up in ER 4 times because of it. This was the moment when the twitching began. I did a Endoscopy & colonoscopy. Biopsies were taken to confirm celiac. Everything came back fine and got cleared from celiac. Gastro diagnosed me with IBS. Huge relief but now I’m dealing with these twitches which is another problem on its own. I spoke to 8 different doctors and they all said it’s a result from my anxiety. I still wasn’t convinced so requested to have a brain MRI scan. Everything came back clear. I’m a 29 and married man and I feel like my anxiety is destroying my marriage. I’m scared of the twitching now. Has anybody had a similar experience to me ? And has anybody dealt with these 24/7 twitches before ?

Red-Rex Reality of anxiety and social health
  • replies: 1

Hi All, I would like to discuss the best options to deal with panic in situations that revolve around conflict. I don't want to get into the details but it is having a huge impact on my social health and relationships. I had previously worked with a ... View more

Hi All, I would like to discuss the best options to deal with panic in situations that revolve around conflict. I don't want to get into the details but it is having a huge impact on my social health and relationships. I had previously worked with a councillor to work on trauma and family issues but I did not get to the point where I could deconstruct subconious beliefs which is causing these panic mindsets. How did you achieve freedom from panic? Are there other forms of therapy which could help me? Who should I read or watch for additional guidance while looking for the therapy I need?

RCWolf Anxiety after being hacked
  • replies: 2

Back in November. I was compromised by a virus and had a social media account stolen since then I have felt like I’m being watched, even though I’ve taken every single step and measure to resecure everything but I’m so scared that this person will sh... View more

Back in November. I was compromised by a virus and had a social media account stolen since then I have felt like I’m being watched, even though I’ve taken every single step and measure to resecure everything but I’m so scared that this person will show up somewhere else, continue to have nightmares Just don’t know how to cope or deal with it every DM ping increase my heart rate…I keep trying to convince myself that I’m back in control but I just don’t know what to trust…i don’t know how to move past this without looking over my shoulder