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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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MayaUyen Past issues cause Fear and Trust problems in current relationship
  • replies: 3

I am 53yo female, divorced and been in a long distant relationship for 14 months. My boyfriend is 12yr older than me.I have grown to love him and know he loves me too. We planned to have a future and build a family together with his 13yo daughter.His... View more

I am 53yo female, divorced and been in a long distant relationship for 14 months. My boyfriend is 12yr older than me.I have grown to love him and know he loves me too. We planned to have a future and build a family together with his 13yo daughter.His daughter accepted me and loves me, I love her too, I don’t have any kid of my own and been living in Aust by myself, no relative. At times I feel alone, my BF and his kid mean so much to me.Due to special circumstances, we still live apart and we have been working together to make our reunion happen as soon as possible then settling in Australia.At the early stage of this relationship, my BF noticed I got fear and trust issues, and said once being together these issues will be cleared.I introspected myself and realized my fear and trust issues came from many betrayals and disappointments from past relationships.I can tell he trusts me fully and rarely questions me about who I meet or be friend with. I normally tell him upfront about the people I am interacting with. My problem is, I often doubt, worry, feel jealous and mistrust while I am not around him in the time being. I often feel anxious when he absent for 3 or 4 days without calling or texting me.My friend says I require his time and attention more than he gives and suggests me to adjust my needs rather than requesting him to give me more time because it is likely that is how he is naturally.At first, he showed understanding, however few days ago we argued and he was very upset, he said “THIS IS THE THING HE DOES NOT WANT IN HIS LIFE, HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT TRUST HER MAN”. To me, his action was a wakeup call.I realize my fear and trust issues have caused severe impacts to our relationship and made him feel pressured, being controlled and uncomfortable. Worse than that I would potentially cause a break-up and lose this relationship.I gave him time to calm down then offered an apology on the yesterday, I also told him I realized the negative impacts of my issues on our relationship and will seek professional help. He responded to me which is a good sign.We have been through thick and thin between life and death together and still stand strong by each other until this day. This relationship is worth fighting for.I now seek counselling support from Next Step to help improving my fear and trust issues.Beside seeking professional help, please I also need advice and suggestions/ideas on this forum or from someone has similar issues about how to improve this. Thank you.

Paul301 OCD
  • replies: 1

Hi there ,my first time putting anything up on a discussion board but feel for the younger people dealing with OCD, i was diagnosed with Pure O OCD three years ago when i was 50 and not going to lie it was an extremely challenging period in my life w... View more

Hi there ,my first time putting anything up on a discussion board but feel for the younger people dealing with OCD, i was diagnosed with Pure O OCD three years ago when i was 50 and not going to lie it was an extremely challenging period in my life with a brief stint in hospital, but as challenging as therapy was and is eventually there can be a freedom that can help release you from the prison within your head . it was only after being diagnosed that i was able to look back and see how much of my life was driven by OCD , the best advice i was given at the time was to educate myself on OCD first as i think that is a massive step forward to be able to understand what is OCD , second and the absolute most important thing was to find a therapist that is experienced in dealing with OCD as lots claim it but i dont believe some are well enough trained in that specific disorder , the third thing for me was being able to open yourself up at therapy and do the work as OCD is very paradoxical , facing your fears with the help of your therapist i believe was the best way , i wanted to write this for the people new to this disorder to give them so hope so that they can find the courage to seek help and move forward and not let OCD dictate their lives, there will be some difficult days but they will get better ! three years ago i was on medication and having rigorous therapy and now i am off medication and touch base every now and then with my therapist and feel much better , OCD along with Depression still challenge me but i have the tools and the understanding of the disorder to calm myself down much quicker , there is light at the end of the tunnel you just have to make the first step, to the people caring for someone with OCD remember if you find it hard, imagine how they must be feeling not being able to understand themselves , so i tell you, you only need to help them by being understanding and not necessarily having to understand the condition , i think it is also important that the people caring for them get up to speed on the best way of helping an OCD person as it will be just as difficult for you because often it will require you not to offer reassurance.anyway i wish everyone here who is suffering to go and get help because it is there and whilst not perfect it will help ALOT !!

K_Ley how can things feel so wrong
  • replies: 1

I am a teacher, and a student today told another teacher that I slapped her across the face. I didn't, I wouldn't ever do something like that. I am so scared that she may have told either other teachers or other students. Either way this could destro... View more

I am a teacher, and a student today told another teacher that I slapped her across the face. I didn't, I wouldn't ever do something like that. I am so scared that she may have told either other teachers or other students. Either way this could destroy my career if anyone believes her. I really don't need this added to everything else. I am feeling so frustrated and alone right now. I am just tired of feeling like everything is a major thing regardless of how big it is. I just want it all to go away and be happy again

I1C2D3T4A5 My head hurts
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’ve been feeling really alone lately and get tea anxious and stressed about little things constantly and my head hurt from always being anxious and stressed. I get episodes where I can’t do anything and my head just throbs. Every time I’ve asked... View more

Hi, I’ve been feeling really alone lately and get tea anxious and stressed about little things constantly and my head hurt from always being anxious and stressed. I get episodes where I can’t do anything and my head just throbs. Every time I’ve asked someone for help they just say oh me too! Or you’ll get over it. I just don’t know how to cope or what to do and I feel really lost and alone and I don’t have anyone to help me. If anyone has any strategies or advice I would really appreciate it

Anxiety_is_who_I_am Health Anxiety about Teeth
  • replies: 15

Hi, I've always had anxiety but in the last 2 years have also developed health anxiety and am constantly worried I have something wrong. Today though has been exceptionally horrible with concern that my teeth will fall out. Now i do need some filling... View more

Hi, I've always had anxiety but in the last 2 years have also developed health anxiety and am constantly worried I have something wrong. Today though has been exceptionally horrible with concern that my teeth will fall out. Now i do need some fillings and some redness in my gums due to illness during pregnancy but if i try to wobble my teeth with my finger, I can't see any movement in my teeth. However, anytime I move my mouth it feels like the tooth is about to fall out. I think the sensation when I move my mouth is more anxiety than an actual movement of a loose tooth. I've been trying really hard all day to stop focusing on it but I can't. I have a dentist appointment next week but until then how does anyone recommend moving past this worry? I don't even want to eat or drink due to this worry.

K_Ley not sure how to feel
  • replies: 6

So this is a weird post in that I am not sure if anyone will reply or if anyone will be able to offer any advice. A close friend of mine discovered a injury on my leg from two weeks ago and immediately asked if I had done it myself. She knew that I h... View more

So this is a weird post in that I am not sure if anyone will reply or if anyone will be able to offer any advice. A close friend of mine discovered a injury on my leg from two weeks ago and immediately asked if I had done it myself. She knew that I had been struggling recently but I didn't think I had given her any reason to think that this was a possibility. I actually ended up lying to her and telling her it was an accident but not sure she believed me. I am now on 9 days of not having those thoughts, so I don't want anything thinking that. Is that wrong?

emem0 depersonalisation
  • replies: 1

hey, thank you for the replies on my last discussion. I think they will be really helpful.I just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone else has experienced this symptom. does anyone else suddenly forget where they are, who they are, what they are ... View more

hey, thank you for the replies on my last discussion. I think they will be really helpful.I just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone else has experienced this symptom. does anyone else suddenly forget where they are, who they are, what they are doing just randomly? sometimes I forget I even exist, or that I am human or real. and im just kind of floating around. but suddenly you realise you have forgotten everything about life and panic sets in. almost like a numbing pain in your body. this I think is one of the scariest symptoms I’ve had. forgetting reality and feeling like im just a soul floating around in space without a thought in my head. it kinda feels like zoning out but much more intense, and you’re brain is empty, you forget the space around you and you can’t really snap back into reality?

mordecai My Grades are bad. I am too sad to study. What do I do?
  • replies: 2

Last year I was doing well in school and even got some awards. I could tell that I was happier then and my grades definitely reflected that. At the beginning of this year I had my first few assessments and I did not do as well as I thought ~ 70 for e... View more

Last year I was doing well in school and even got some awards. I could tell that I was happier then and my grades definitely reflected that. At the beginning of this year I had my first few assessments and I did not do as well as I thought ~ 70 for each unit. As the year progressed I started seeing my grades plummet to the 60s and 50s. And for the first time, I failed a few aswell. I still fail to study more in my room and instead resort to video games because I am too sad to write something or solve anything. I don’t know how to get back on track.

Jo_____anne Some days are a struggle
  • replies: 1

Today I must admit I am struggling and have been for a while. I read some statements of affirmation I had written last year and it really helped. Just being here and being honest has also helped me as well. But, gee it’s hard work. The anxiety just e... View more

Today I must admit I am struggling and have been for a while. I read some statements of affirmation I had written last year and it really helped. Just being here and being honest has also helped me as well. But, gee it’s hard work. The anxiety just ebbs and flows.

Losttwentysomething_ Retail job rant
  • replies: 2

I work a retail job and I am quite frankly I am sick of it. I have been there for over 5 years now and I am getting tired of having to ask to be moved and changed up constantly. Yes I know we are short staffed and need to give the new staff a chance ... View more

I work a retail job and I am quite frankly I am sick of it. I have been there for over 5 years now and I am getting tired of having to ask to be moved and changed up constantly. Yes I know we are short staffed and need to give the new staff a chance to learn various departments. I was moved into the checkout/ self serve department from night fill (I asked to be moved to another department - merchandise, which management at the time said that they could put me in the department, but then a few weeks later without my knowledge, they go and put me in checkouts/ self serve. A department that lacks variety, which is something I despise. I voiced them this but anyway, here we are. Since then I have managed to land a part-time job at another place so it breaks up my week and I am not constantly at this retail job, but I am still not happy with that job either, but I keep looking for other opportunities with my skill set. I had a shift on the weekend where I was working and a customer seemed they disappointed in my service (I don't even know what I did to be honest) so again I shouldn't just assume and should just ask the customer why she seemed upset, she asked for my name at the end of the transaction and when I said goodbye she looked disappointed and just shrugged and walked of. It wouldn't surprise me if she put a complaint in. After that interaction I started to feel myself get emotional and wanted to cry but I couldn't since I had a line up of customers to serve that constantly put things on my till to ring through and my script of 'how are you today, need a bag?, have a loyalty card?', of course I have to keep constantly repeat myself as we have a safety screen and it makes it hard for people to hear. I was rostered on to work another checkout shift on the Sunday but I ended up walking out as soon as I started, I wasn't in the mood to work plus I am unwell and I have an overseas trip that I am leaving for very soon so I was already feeling anxious and emotional as it is. Yes I know I should be grateful to be rostered on to work on the weekend and get penalty rates and being a casual is good money. Yes I am aware that that wasn't the right thing to do and that I should've called in sick instead to allow them to find someone else to cover. One of the managers followed me as I left and I basically told her that I was sick of working here, how there is no growth and no variety and that I wanted to resign. She told me the process to resign so now it is up to