My anxiety is too hard

[Guest_25694560]

I have recently been diagnosed with anxiety and it is really hard. I’m usually really outgoing and it’s made me into a person that never wants to leave the house. I haven’t been able to go to work without having panick attacks and i will loose my job if i keep calling in sick because i have anxiety. How do i get through a shift at work?

[ABC01]

Hello,

I am sorry to read your post and how much of a hard time you are personally having.

I have suffered from anxiety for a long time and suffered from panic attacks too. I have felt social phobias and had a hard time being motivated to leave my house.

Could you get a medical certificate to get some time off work? I know it is a short term solution.

When I have suffered a panic attack, I know I just need to breathe. But how to override the panic in my mind. Do you own any technology where you can have a breathing/mindfulness app? My watch has a mindfulness app that vibrates when I need to inhale and then exhale. I can set it for up to 5 minutes at a time. And alarms to go off at specific times to do the activity. This has been quite good at getting my breathing back into rhythm. There must my other apps to do this. Could you go to the bathroom when you need to breathe? Or do it every hour on the hour? 

If your thoughts get loud, can you sing a song? You can just sing it in your head until you are only concentrating on the song lyrics and not your thoughts. Or if you can,sing it out. I sing songs that have no specific meaning. Like "The Macerena", "Scatman", or motivational songs like "Tubthupping" or "Just keep swimming"from Finding Nemo. It is repetitive, dance style music without any words or emotional music breaks to upset me. I often experience "ear worms" that are really quick thoughts or a song that I think/sing without real thought. They come really quick that often I am not happy with the way the thought is forming (or my anxiety is speaking) or the song isn't helpful with my current emotions. In fact the song upsets me more having thought of it. I now have sung a louder song so often when this happens, that I can automatically prompt myself to sing a song over that thought instead. And if I concentrate on the lyrics, my other thought simply trails off to a stop and I am singing now instead.

Use your 5 senses. What can you see, what can you feel,hear,smell and taste? You could expand on that with how many things of a specific color can you find in a minute? You can modify that anyway that works for you.

Most importantly, remember you are not purposely doing this to yourself. No one has a panic attack on purpose. So if you do, have some self love for yourself. Grab yourself a nice warm drink, run your hands and wrists under warm water if that is soothing, or take a break somewhere you can see some nature or get fresh air or sunshine. Perhaps you can find some affirmation cards or words that speak to you and take one to work with you or take a picture of it on your phone to reference. Please don't be embarrassed or ashamed either. I had a panic attack at work and many people saw me, I even had the first aid team member come to me to help me. No one else is walking in my shoes. So they can't judge me. If they do,that is a reflection on them and their lack of understanding and education of mental health issues and their contribution to stigmas. That has nothing to do with you.

I have also had to do exposure activities to help me leave home. I only have to go small steps outside of my house at a time and build up to longer outings. It is helpful to go with someone else too. Making even a small list of places to go is a great idea. Then you only have to stay as long as you want to, but the destination is at least intriguing for your senses. There are small, interesting and non crowded places to go.

I am sending you all the very best.

Please reply if you want to talk more.

ABC01

[Annas1]

What a fantastic collection of strategies and correctives to manage anxiety and panic ABC01! Your resourceful and non-judgemental attitude is so encouraging - in fact, you've created a compact reference resource that would be useful for many users of this site.

And of course, welcome new friend to BB, hopefully you will find some support and ideas here to help you along your journey. Panic attacks are so awful, the physical symptoms are extreme and it can really undermine your sense of confidence. While I don't have them often, they have happened when I've felt a high degree of stress and/or threat and am not sleeping well. I wonder if you're feeling apprehensive about being evaluated in your work role? I know this is something I've experienced. I also tend to fall into the trap of needing to be a model employee who has no impediments - and panic/anxiety doesn't fit into that image. Thus, I have felt a lot of shame about my anxiety and panic and that somehow they 'disqualify' me from taking part in life. So, ABC01 is 100% right - we don't choose to respond to life with anxiety/panic, and in fact we try many things to address its effects. Accordingly, there should be no judgement (either our own or by others) about it turning up.

Would there be a co-worker/manager/HR rep who you can confide in and seek some support from? Sometimes disclosure can be very helpful, but it is important to discern whether people are informed about mental health and have a positive attitude to recovery. I have found selective disclosure to be useful, and if you can be supported to actively manage the panic while at work it could make all the difference.

If there are no actual threats present at your place of work - except the fear of humiliation and judgement by others - then I have found it very effective to create a short mantra to help myself push through anxiety/panic while supporting myself psychologically. For example, where you are practically/physically/relationally safe, then you could say to yourself "I am safe, there is no threat, it's a false alarm", for example. I repeat my phrase/mantra as often and for as long as I need to hear that message. I once had to wait for about an hour in a psychology course before it was my turn to make a presentation all the while managing an extreme sense of anxiety and moments of break-through panic. To be honest, it was a pretty horrible experience, however, the mantra was so helpful (because I felt it to be true to my reality and values) and the presentation went fine.

Feeling bad about anxiety and panic only adds to the burden of the experience, please don't lay this extra weight on yourself and seek some support and validation whether at work or via your gp or other counselling option. Support is waiting for you when you're ready.

Take care

[Ranga-1]

Does your work have an EAP or HR to whom you can discuss your concerns? When I had bad attacks a few years ago, I would remind myself that although the fear felt real, I could manage it and get through my task Distraction is great, too. Like one of the other commenters suggested, sing a nonsensical song.