Hello,
I wanted you to know that I can empathize with you and understand how you can feel like you do everyday.
One of the things I always try to do is not sleep during the day. It is hard to try not to. But once my body starts doing it, I feel it wants to do it everyday around the same time. And if I let myself, then I can't sleep at night. Then I can't sleep the next night either. So now I try to go to sleep at the same time every night. I specifically have a routine so my mind and body know it is time to wind down and relax. I have a sleep sound machine, I have a no-blue-light lamp which helps block strong light from keeping me alert, I have a lavender body wash to help relax me, I also have a lavender roll on for sleep(However some pets hate lavender so beware of that), I hate good quality blinds that make my room dark, comfortable pj's only for bed and proper bedding for the weather. A sleep inducing environment only used at night for sleeping. It took me awhile to get there,but these work for me.
I have written a list of all the places I would like to go. Whether it is nostalgia or somewhere I have never been before, but always put it off for another time. I am slowly ticking off my list. It is full of city-based places and activities, green spaces with water, exhibitions and shopping centres. I don't like crowds, so I go on off peak days and times. I also go with another person to help navigate my social anxiety and stress. I want to stay at home, but also fear I will miss out on experiences and the world if I stay inside only. The year goes so fast that if I wait, the next year will go by too. I love being in my own space and not having to deal with people and noise and chaos of life. However, I have had to ask myself honestly, if I am living life vicariously through tv and other people. And my answer was yes. So I made a list. Sometimes I can't wait to get home, but at least I tried that day. If you try your best that is all that matters every single day.
I feel your exhaustion and frustration. Being frustrated makes you exhausted. Being exhausted makes you frustrated.
Let anything that sparks any stimulation peak your interest and keep your antennas up. These are areas that you can grow into hobbies and interests and maybe the motivation you seek to explore the world a little more. Sometimes simple research on these small pockets of interest can lead to a bigger passion or direction.
I hope any of these suggestions maybe useful or another point of view may have some insight.
I wish you well.
ABC01
