Almost 30 and achieved nothing in life

[RoadToRecovery1001]

At the end of this month I'll be turning 30. While for many people this age is a cause for celebration, for me it serves as a stark reminder of how little I've achieved during my 30 years on this earth. I honestly have never felt such dread and sadness about a single day before
All around me, friends and family have flourished and gone onto successful careers or are getting married while I still feel like I'm at square one.

Perhaps the worst thing about this all is that I have completely blown opportunities that would have allowed me to actually make something of my life. I suddenly quit an extremely promising job last year due to overwhelming feelings of anxiety and insecurity. I felt like an impostor and a fraud who would eventually be fired due to incompetence. This is despite the fact that I never received any negative feedback or made any significant mistakes. Nonetheless, I still took the action that I did.

Deep down, I know my feelings are often extraordinarily irrational yet I can’t help but feel the way I do. I feel like I'm set in my way of thinking and nothing is going to ever change this for me. I've seen psychologists, read self-help books, done exposure therapy and still feel the same way. As painful as it is, I've almost come to terms with the fact that I'll remain perpetually single and work in jobs that I hate until I die.
I feel like whenever I try things to make things better for myself I just make them worse. I honestly don't know how to better cope with my anxiety and feelings of negativity and frankly think I never will. I just want to be normal like everyone else yet my insecurities and negativity always get the better of me. Rather than looking forward to my 30th, I feel like it signifies a very painful and sad pathway of disappointment and failure ahead of me.

[AliasKind]

Hello All,

I too resonate with this thread. It's ongoing, I feel there is a lot to unpack here and would find it beneficial if we could be here for one another. I realise some haven't come by in quite a long time though.

Somehow I think it would help me to have friends in this similar situation and spend time, sitting and being with them. There isn't really any rush is there? I have to fight this sometimes, as being female the biological clock is always ticking, if I wanted to have a family (partner depending) it's something I feel I'm on the cusp of but don't really have a choice over (because I'm single). Oh the dilemma.

[Guest_1584]

Hi to all.

looks like op's flown the coop long ago but l agree with ya this could be a really helpful thread to a lot of people, tbh l'm surprised it hasn't turned into a 300 pager.

All l can say though is life can turn on a penny and change in a heartbeat and you can decide to do things or turn things around at any age and people do every day. My dad was still in business and taking on or starting huge new things well into 70s. But 30s , hell really, the worlds your oyster it's a great age to get things moving or make changes . And these days there's adult courses for anything, too if it's career wise. But you know , buying a house or saving to, moving to somewhere that's more you, starting a business, anything and everything , people do all these things and change their lives much much old than 30s.

You've just gotta figure out what you want point yourself in the right direction and get started,

Good luck to all. rx

[HamSolo01]

Hey all

Nice to meet you. I think we could make something of this little group here - we could talk about the things we have avhieved so far. Things we are proud. I was talking to a friend today online who is in the USA and we briefly spoke about how our 20s is all about finding out what to do with ourselves. Maybe at some level its okay to feel this way.

One thing i am proud of is how i dealt with my mental health when i was 20.

[Guest_4643]

Hello everyone. I agree, this is a good thread. I mean it's sad that people are going through this, but it's somewhat comforting to know you're not alone I suppose. Good ideas people have here.

PS, I hope you're ok RoadToRecovery1001

[Guest_1643]

Hi HamSolo01

that's a nice idea 🙂

[Guest_1643]

Hi Rx i'm in my 30s and although it was hard surviving to get here it is an interesting age

some days i feel old somedays I feel young - it's very in-between

And really depending on who i'm with

I know i'm not 21 anymore.... i think there's pressure to be young forever. But growing older is special, too.

[Guest_1584]

Hiya sleepy/ But nah can't say as l ever felt pressure to be young forever , apart from liking the idea anyway myself haha. l probably felt the other direction really and pressure to grow up act older. matured - so called , l dunno. lt never really bothered me but sometimes l even felt in myself though maybe l should've been.lt gets you soon enough though so no hurry in my book.

Don't worry , still the same here too really , l'm a real mix . rx

[HamSolo01]

Hey all

It's not meant to be "easy" per se, but it doesn't mean it has to be hard or terrible (tyranny even). I think we also learn how to forgive ourselves and others around us for what they do. Someone wise once told me that having mental health problems meant we had insight into our own issues in life and perhaps this is the case in our 20s. I mean the 20s are hard for any of us hey? It's rife with challenges. I have a small joke I am working on:

Why do we have to go through puberty and adolescence while we are in high school? Isn't high school hard enough, and puberty is too?

The answer to this question is simple - It's so that we can get through our 20s.

I am 27 and a friend told me once that I seem like I am in my 30s and maybe they are onto something. But hey, I am 27 and so long as my age starts with a 2 then I will be in my 20s and have every right to say so lol