Afraid of losing friends

[_Gigi_]

So, basically, my whole life I've struggled a lot in social situations and had a lot of trouble making friends. My therapist thinks I have autism, which would explain a lot- especially how I interact with others. As I got older, I learned the 'formulas' of starting friendships and managed to actually make some really good friends. Now, a newer friend has asked me out. I want to focus on managing my depression before even considering a relationship (I've been especially struggling lately). My anxiety is spiking because I don't want to lose a friendship by saying no, but I also don't want to lose a friendship by being rude and not answering for ages. This friend is someone I feel unusually comfortable around (normally I take ages to warm up to people and I mask a lot) so I really don't want to blow it. I feel like a bad person for freaking out. Is this another thing everyone knows how to handle except for me, or am I overthinking again??

[Sophie_M]

Hi _Gigi_

Thank you for your post. You're definitely not alone here in finding the social world challenging to navigate. It’s great that you have a therapist to help you work through these feelings, social anxiety can make already tricky situations feel even more overwhelming.

It sounds like the possibility of a relationship with this person is bringing up both excitement and anxiety. It’s clear they mean a lot to you, and it’s completely understandable to feel concerned about jeopardising that connection. It is a very human response, and even those who find socialising easier can feel nervous about new relationships.

How would it feel to share with them what you’ve shared here? There’s no shame in how you’re feeling, and they might really appreciate knowing how much you value the relationship - whether as friends or something more.

Whatever you decide, we hope you can be kind to yourself. It’s a lot to sit with, and any mix of emotions - anxiety, anticipation, excitement, and anything in between - is valid.

Feel free to keep us updated with how it goes. We’re here to support you along the way 😊

Kind regards,
Sophie M