Advise with work anxiety

[T_93]

Hi there,

im not really sure what to do. I don’t want to worry my family anymore as they know I have battled with anxiety and really bad depression in the past and feel as though I need to work it out on my own.

i just started a new job in customer service, and it is making me feel sick to my stomach...I get so scared I’m going to get into trouble or something bad will happen plus I think I hate dealing with people and how rude they can be.

My anxiety is almost getting the better of me but I’m trying to fight it and remain as calm as I can possibly be! Iv started waking up weird hours of the night thinking about the new job and all I am thinking about is the job but then my thoughts start to escalate and I think about a whole bunch of other things and bad things that I have gone through and tell myself I am failing and I’m not good enough....Iv been told I put pressure on myself and I believe that I do a little bit.

however, I just hate feeling this way because there are so many people out there that have much worse problems and I feel I am being selfish and not grateful for the blessing I have in my life. I am gay and my family are so supportive and incredible and same with my friends. I’m just not sure what to do and wonder if anyone has any advise.

thank you for whoever is reading this and sorry for the rant!

T.

[Sophie_M]

Hi T.93,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience with us.
It is difficult when you're constantly bombarded with these thoughts, it sounds like you have high expectations of yourself and the anxiety is starting to take its toll on you. Having a good support network around you (ie. friends and family) usually helps as well. You obviously care about those around them and don't want to worry them, like you said. With that in mind, I was wondering whether you currently have any professional supports that you are in contact with?

Sophie

[T_93]

Hi Sophie,

thank you so much for your response! 🙂

I used to go see someone to talk to but it didn’t really seem to help ( perhaps they weren't the right one) and only did 3 sessions.

I was on anti depressants for a while but stop because I thought I didn’t need them anymore

[Lou168]

Hi T,

Thank you for sharing this. Firstly I just want to say that while it might seem like others have worse problems, that doesn't make your experience any less real or valid, and I hope we can help you overcome any guilt you feel about this!

I've been in your position before, where work induces a huge amount of anxiety to the point where you are up in the middle of the night thinking/worrying about it. I also have high expectations of myself and often would rather just not attempt something if I think I might be bad at it or will do something wrong (and get into trouble as you say), than give it a go and see what happens. I found that bottling my experience up kind of exacerbated those anxious feelings for me, and talking about it really normalised my experience and reduced those feelings. It's also helped me work through my high/unrelenting standards and understand where these are coming from and how to manage them in a constructive way.

As Sophie was hinting at, if you don't feel comfortable talking to (or feel like you are burdening) your friends and family, seeking professional help might be a good avenue. It can be tricky when you haven't had a good experience previously with professional supports, but as you said it might just mean that that particular person wasn't right for you, and it may help to explore this again.

It might also be that a customer service role isn't the right fit for you. Dealing with customers, especially rude and demanding ones, can be extremely tiring and frustrating, and when you're already in that state of heightened anxiety it can be really hard to cope. I know how hard it is to find a job at the moment (as someone who is currently job hunting myself) so I understand if you feel you should persevere with this role, but it's also important to remember that your mental and physical health should always come first. If work is something that's severely impacting that for you, it could be helpful to mention it to your manager if you feel safe/comfortable to do so. It's always good to have some support in the workplace so that someone understands your experience, and they may be able to help figure out some options to reduce the anxiety you feel towards work (maybe putting you on quieter shifts if that's possible, or provide further training/resources to help you feel confident in your role).

Sorry for the long response but I hope at least a little bit of it helps!!

Lou

[Guest_0753]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out today T.93 🙂 No need to apologise for the rant as it can be very overwhelming to get them out verbally at times during face to face interactions as I am like this too

I understand completely when you say you don't want to worry your family and have to do it on your own as I am like this. It should be fine this way too. It means that you and I have to find someone else we can confide in as I think a lot of the time this revolves around the fact we want to open up and have a chat, funnily enough, rather than take action first. I know I have to push myself to consider a GP because I think this is where I would feel comfortable first

Congratulations on the new job!

I will be honest customer service is not my strongest point either, actually it is probably my weakest due to the fact I am more shy and introverted and probably quite self conscious. I have found as I move along in age and experience, I become more self aware of what I am good at and what I need improvement. Easily said than done right? I definitely think we all have people we don't gravitate to and that is perfectly normal. I think the important thing to take away from this is this. Lately, I have somehow, I don't know how really, must be this internal courage, to want to pay more attention to the ones that are interested in me rather than the ones that don't as I need to work on giving less attention (ignoring) to those rude people for my own happiness and guess what, those people are out there! Try paying attention to the positive body language they give you, facial expressions, and most importantly to listen to what they say before we input ours. I find this will take some time for me to do as I have only just started.

You could take a bottle of water with you to work and make sure to take a lunch break to feel rejuvenated

I have also been told that I must put pressure on myself, I think this is because I feel the need for things to go perfectly and smoothly without any drama or conflict or uncomfortable moments I am not familiar with

It is hard when we feel like we are being selfish, I feel this too but think of it as, everyone has a right to speak about something that bothers them and it is okay to seek professional help.

That is wonderful that you have a supportive and incredible family and friends. They obviously adore you and want you to be happy. Keep doing hobbies you enjoy and work hard and it will pay off in the end

Good luck 🙂