Hi JMP,
Do you think maybe your role as a CEO has hindered you from being able to connect with people on a one-to-one level, because people see you as ‘the boss’ and not the bloke they can have a drink or go out to dinner with?
Never being satisfied with your achievements in life can have its positives, driving us to do more, but striving for perfection and believing we haven’t made an impact on peoples’ lives when we have is going to burn you out over time, and it sounds like that’s what’s happening.
Why do you feel you can’t talk to anyone about this, especially your wife? Or close friends? Are you afraid that saying ‘I wish I was dead but I don’t want to kill myself’ will scare them too much?
Try not to worry about having these feelings despite having a ‘normal’ childhood, they can happen to anyone and comparing yourself against others who have had more traumatic things happen to them is likely to make you feel worse. You’re feeling how you’re feeling, so just concentrate on yourself for a bit.
Picking apart why you feel depressed or alone can be helpful sometimes, but going for an archaeological dig into your past is not always so. Looking at what’s missing in your life now and what you can do to improve your wellbeing is more forward-looking, and you’ve already started doing that by reconnecting with pastimes you enjoy.
What about the people in your life? How connected do you feel to your wife, your daughter, the rest of your family, friends?
Best
CB
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Online Community Manager
