Will I ever be able to control my thoughts?

hann1805 · ‎22-08-2014

I am sleeping better but I do get restless every now and again. I don't know if I'm reacting to the medication or not but I'm having very bad thoughts that scare me, they scare me so much that I tend to get anxious and it brings on an attack that's so severe I can't leave my room let alone my house,

On the flip side I have some good news, my partner got a job at the same place I work at.... he started this week, and he's doing really, really well.

But I still can't seem to control these thoughts or my attacks, I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning and cry if

I' m alone.

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Neil_1 · ‎23-08-2014

Dear Hann

Great to hear again from you and that you've provided some more information.

That is really pleasing that your partner has found a job too. 🙂

With regard to these invasive thoughts that you're having - my immediate suggestion is for you to get back to your GP (I'm guessing it was your GP who prescribed this particular anti-depressant for you). Go back and see them and tell them exactly how you're feeling and how these awful thoughts your having.

It can certainly be a symptom from some medications that cause for bad thought reactions. I know this happened to me a long long time ago. I went back and we went straight off the ones that were troubling me, and my guy put me onto some different ones, and then things started to settle down.

Hann, there's so many different kinds of meds out there - I think it best to try to get off these - but only do this with your GP's supervision and guidance.

Hope to hear back from you again.

Neil

AGrace · ‎23-08-2014

Hi hann,

I'm really happy for you and your boyfriend, his new job is great news!! I hope this starts to relieve some of the financial pressure, and also puts your boyfriend in good spirits.

Is it ok for me to ask what sort of thoughts are you having? Thoughts are in essence just that, thoughts. They don't have to be real, we don't have to buy into them, or believe them, and we don't have to act on them. I do understand though that this is easier said than done.

I agree with Neil, that it best to go back to your GP and speak about this new symptom. In the interim there's a few things you could try to help alleviate some of the fear around these thoughts, and hopefully help reduce the onset of a panic attack.

Say the thought in your mind in a cartoon character's voice, sing the thought to the tune of happy birthday, name the thought and thank it for stopping by. These methods sound a little unusual, but they help to dis empower the thought, so you see it for exactly what it is, a fleeting idea.

Write the thought down and come up with some evidence for and against it's validity.

Mindfulness will also help with keeping you in the present and hopefully reduce the engagement with these thoughts. I'll let you google or look up on youtube some mindfulness techniques.

I'll be interested to hear your GPs recommendations also.

AGrace

hann1805 · ‎23-08-2014

Hi AGrace

I won't go into too much detail but the thoughts (which also progress into my dreams most nights) are mostly violent, towards myself...I wake up with bruises on my body because I've gripped myself quite hard in my sleep, I haven't harmed myself in over a year and it gets me down quite a bit. I feel like I'm becoming progressively worse as the days go by. I'm even finding myself having angry fits where I scream at my boyfriend for no apparent reason.

I'm definitely going to go back to my GP about this, for a while the meds seemed to be working, I felt more alert, calmer and just a clearer head in general, but now, just within this past week, I've been feeling like there's no hope.

I' m afraid of relapsing, and the consequences it would bring. I am afraid of myself, which I've never experienced in my life.

I just feel like

I' m alone even in a crowded room.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 224 636.