Young people

Depression and anorexia

replies: 2

Hi there to anyone who reads this I myself have had anorexia for 6 years and depression for 5 years I have received treatment for my ED before but my BMI is currently under 14 and so I am not able to return to the only free ED program in my area. I d... View more

Hi there to anyone who reads this I myself have had anorexia for 6 years and depression for 5 years I have received treatment for my ED before but my BMI is currently under 14 and so I am not able to return to the only free ED program in my area. I do not have private health insurance either. My day is often struggled because I want to stay in bed or do nothing but because of the ED I force myself up and to continually pace all day which makes me feel incredibly misrable. I live with my mother in a small unit which I HATE because there is no space for myself to be alone which I actually enjoy and worst of all I have no garden, we recently had to downsize from a house with large yard and garden which I loved to be in everyday and now we are here with a tiny patch of dirt that receives no sunlight and even if it did I couldn't plant more then 4 things :(. my mother also sufferers from mental illness including depression herself. Too weak to work even though I would love too. My main hobby besides gardening is lego but with no income it's not something I can really afford to do often. I just wanted to share my story somewhere. Thank you

Worried about myself and my life

replies: 1

Hello, Lately I have been having worried thoughts. I have been really mentally exhausted lately, from studying, from work. I ended up taking today off work to rest. Recently my boyfriend told me I am really stressed out and I realised I just needed t... View more

Hello, Lately I have been having worried thoughts. I have been really mentally exhausted lately, from studying, from work. I ended up taking today off work to rest. Recently my boyfriend told me I am really stressed out and I realised I just needed to take a rest and pay more attention to how my body is feeling. Instead of continuing the stressful cycle of work then more study etc. So I forced myself to take the day off work. It is not the first time I've taken days off work like this. Anyway, I am studying a health degree by the way, and I keep thinking that with the mental state I am in now, how am I going to be a good health professional in the future? If I am mentally exhausted and keep needing to have days off work to feel better? Because you can't do that as a health professional especially when you have patients that want to see you at work for an illness for example. I am really doubting myself. Is this the right career for me? Is it too big of a role for me to be a health professional, maybe I should choose an easier career? Because I can't handle a lot of stress and workload. I'm just so worried about my future. And in any job really, how am I going to be a good worker if I dread going to work and keep wishing for a day off to not stress. I feel like I'm going to have to sort out my mental health state. By the way, I should share that I have emetophobia. In the past it was worse but it really shook me. It started when I was diagnosed with gastritis. At that time I literally found it hard to leave the house and take public transport or go to university classes because of the fear of being sick. Ever since then I've had bad anxiety. And I'm thinking depression could be in the picture too. Thank you so much for reading and replying.

attention seeking, dramatic "friend"

replies: 4

My best friend got a bf 8 months ago and has been playing emotional mind games with me ever sinse. She says things like 'I know you hate us being together and you hate me sitting with him' and 'I know you want us to break up' and I tried to convince ... View more

My best friend got a bf 8 months ago and has been playing emotional mind games with me ever sinse. She says things like 'I know you hate us being together and you hate me sitting with him' and 'I know you want us to break up' and I tried to convince her for 8 months that I dont think any of those things. And im getting really frustrated because she says things like 'im sorry for having a boyfriend' and 'thanks for being here for me... I guess' when she isnt actually sorry, it seems like she just wants me to feel sorry for her for having a boyfriend. I have given her every chance to sort things out and talk about it but shes always out with her boyfriend, and said quote "I dont have time for you" I have stopped talking to her because I just dont see the point anymore. I want to not care but its tearing me up inside, especially now that her boyfriend is giving me filthy looks. I dont know what to do, and lately ive been feeling more and more depressed, weak and unstable and vulnerable. All I want to do is cry. Its affecting my mental health and my motivation to go to school. I cant talk to my other friends because I dont want to drag them into the middle of this. Its safe to say that she definitely isnt my best friend anymore, she doesnt even make the list. But I feel worthless and helpless and alone. What do I do!

Will I ever be able to control my thoughts?

replies: 3

I am sleeping better but I do get restless every now and again. I don't know if I'm reacting to the medication or not but I'm having very bad thoughts that scare me, they scare me so much that I tend to get anxious and it brings on an attack that's s... View more

I am sleeping better but I do get restless every now and again. I don't know if I'm reacting to the medication or not but I'm having very bad thoughts that scare me, they scare me so much that I tend to get anxious and it brings on an attack that's so severe I can't leave my room let alone my house, On the flip side I have some good news, my partner got a job at the same place I work at.... he started this week, and he's doing really, really well.But I still can't seem to control these thoughts or my attacks, I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning and cry ifI' m alone.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

I don't want to go back there

replies: 3

I am 24 years old and battled severe depression a few years ago. I rarely showered or brushed my teeth for 6 months, I drank way too much, I simply got worse and worse.fortunately, I recovered and finished my studies, found a wonderful partner, lande... View more

I am 24 years old and battled severe depression a few years ago. I rarely showered or brushed my teeth for 6 months, I drank way too much, I simply got worse and worse.fortunately, I recovered and finished my studies, found a wonderful partner, landed an amazing job and built my dream home. I thought my world had fallen into place but I decided to go back to uni and do another degree, which I am failing. My job is just turning out to be a massive dead end and my wonderful partner has decided that he may not want to be with me anymore and has been having an affair. I was oblivious and was sooooo happy and now everything has crashed around me and I will have to sell my house that I spent 2 years building and only 2 weeks living in.my partner has ended his relationship and wants to work on things with me and I think he is dealing with issues of his own as well as within our relationship. Suddenly he is angry all the time and I am trying to be supportive and positive..... But it's so hard. I am slipping back into that dark place and desperately don't want to go back there.my entire life is gone and thenI have broken my shoulder. I can't cook or clean or shower or dress by myself. I can't do anything and am relying on my partner for everything, and he is doing it without complaining but I keep picturing him with her. I tried counselling but all I got was relationship advice and felt judged. i have lost 10kg in 3 weeks and am struggling to sleep but so many people around me are being so supportive. People at work, who have no idea what is going on keep inviting me to lunch and coffee just because they can see that something isn't right.i guess this is why I haven't slipped all the way back and I am so lucky for this but then I go home and sit alone and feel like nothing could be worse.

aren't centrelink supposed to help you?...

replies: 1

I applied for youth allowance as i'm studying, i'm doing it online but i just found out i got rejected for the allowance and i don't even know what to do what happens when i can no longer afford medication. I'm so scared that i'm not going to be able... View more

I applied for youth allowance as i'm studying, i'm doing it online but i just found out i got rejected for the allowance and i don't even know what to do what happens when i can no longer afford medication. I'm so scared that i'm not going to be able to afford it anymore, i don't even have a phone, i need to start paying for things at home, like board and food but because i'm not getting any money i can't do that..and i have no way of proving that i need to pay for these things. This is all just bringing me down and i'm not over 22 so i can't so for anything else.. this has got me in such a bad situation that it feels like there's no point in even trying with anything. I'm in no position to work right now plus my school work is extremely hard and takes many hours per day as i have always struggled in school

Wearing a mask

replies: 1

I've been on my AD's for about a week now, but I can't seem to shake this feeling. I'm constantly feeling depressed. I have all the support in the world but still feel like if I show my real feelings, my loved ones will get mad at me. My best friend ... View more

I've been on my AD's for about a week now, but I can't seem to shake this feeling. I'm constantly feeling depressed. I have all the support in the world but still feel like if I show my real feelings, my loved ones will get mad at me. My best friend already told me to "suck it up and take the compliment" when she was complimenting on a piece of artwork I did that I thought was really bad. I just feel like I'm constantly pretending around everyone. Faking smiles, faking happiness. My motivation to continue studying has dropped, I study online so its always been hard to keep concentration. But recently its been really hard. Yes I am improving a little, I'm more alert during the day so I'm able to work properly but I keep sleeping for 14 hours on my days off, which isn't healthy.

Health Anxiety fears.

replies: 4

Hi i'm new this forum and never usually talk about my self on these things but lately i have been having alot of things happening to me that are just stressing me out and upsetting me and i think it's time to talk to someone. Ever since i was a kid i... View more

Hi i'm new this forum and never usually talk about my self on these things but lately i have been having alot of things happening to me that are just stressing me out and upsetting me and i think it's time to talk to someone. Ever since i was a kid i think i have always had obessive thoughts about my health and other problems but the last 8 months have been a nightmare for some reason i convinced myself i have many types of cancer and that i'm done for. First i believed i had testicular cancer then it went to skin cancer, brain tumors, lymphoma, thyroid cancer and now stomach cancer. I have been to the Dr so many times this year and had scans and tests which have all returned fine but when one thing gets the all clear it's not long before a new fear shows up and it's so upsetting and stressful. My latest fear is of stomach cancer it started as just small pains in my stomach at night that have been occuring over a few months but as it has been months and i am fine i never worried and i was preoccupied with other worries however this past week i had sharp pain in my stomach breifly which then caused me to panic i started to worry that i had ignored the signs over the last few months and that i may have stomach cancer. I then start to google infomation as i always do when i'm concerned and it confirmed my worries which made me worse. I then also began to remember the symptoms a family friend had who died of stomach cancer had such as loss of appetite and being unable to eat food. And now all of sudden it hurts to eat and i feel so sick all the time i also have pain in my stomach which gets so bad that it becomes very difficult to take my mind of it. I then always return to google to search my new symptoms which makes me feel worse. I am unsure if the pain is real or just in my head i try to convince myself that it's in my head but it never works. I think the reason i might be having these panic attacks is that i'm scared of dying before i have achieved anything or had a family as i'm only 22. It's really unpsetting because my life is great at the moment with my studies and friends and i'm happy but then i always think i don't have long left and this scares me. I don't want to keep having to go to the doctors but i feel this won't end. I just have a question can a persons mind actually cause pain and physical symptoms such as difficulty eating because it feels so real. Thankyou.

Lost

replies: 7

Hi. This is the first time I've ever come to a place like this.And I truly don't know what to say. Maybe just an introduction to my life.I'm a male, 22 years of age. I'm at University for a degree in Primary school teaching.For the longest time that ... View more

Hi. This is the first time I've ever come to a place like this.And I truly don't know what to say. Maybe just an introduction to my life.I'm a male, 22 years of age. I'm at University for a degree in Primary school teaching.For the longest time that I can recall I have been depressed. One of the most vivid things I remember about my childhood was the day I had an argument of some kind with my mother. I ran into the backyard and prayed for God to take my life because my family would be better off and happier without me. I have a loving family that would support me to the end of the world and yet I'm still crippled by an emptiness, I don't care about anything, I barely care if I pass or fail at Uni. I can't drive a car, I had to quit or lose my job at the end of the year. I decided not to get a new job and concentrate on my studies but even that is a joke. I can be happy, when I'm with friends or playing games but its temporary. As soon as I'm alone with my thoughts I'm overpowered by self-loathing, emptiness and anxiety. My mind plays tricks on me, I know what its doing but its logic is strong. Unlike so many, I have a home, parents who care for me, friends who like me, a loving upbringing, food, internet. I see myself empty and depressed, crying and my mind just tells me how worthless I am, tells me that I should dare complain about my life when compared to most I have it good. No matter what, my mind makes me hate myself. The happiest I've ever been is when I had girlfriends, But I'm a 22 year old with no job, no car and for everything that I can see before me no future. But most relationships I've ever been in have been horrible and ended horribly. I used to accuse them. But how is that possible, the only constant is me. I need another person in my life to make me feel whole, but any person that I find, I know the best and most loving thing I can do for them is not enter their lives. There is nothing I can provide, I can't expect them to love me when even I don't. I've nevertried to commit suicide. Not for real anyway. Every day I went to Tafe I thought of ending my life, but I couldn't do that to my family, I love them too much to imagine the pain they would have to go through. I' m so afraid of failing I can't even start. Every day that goes further I feel like I'm failing those who love me most just a little more. Its paralytic.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Finding it really hard

replies: 1

I don't know who I am anymore. I could look into the mirror and just see a face. A stranger. The face may look familiar, but the person staring back at me is someone I would not have seen before. i cannot see the positives around me. They have blurre... View more

I don't know who I am anymore. I could look into the mirror and just see a face. A stranger. The face may look familiar, but the person staring back at me is someone I would not have seen before. i cannot see the positives around me. They have blurred out. Sometimes I can see a glimpse of them, but they're a bit fuzzy. Is this selfish of me? I don't go out anymore, don't spontaneously see my friends like I used to, nor make any kind of plans. I am home bound. Am I a loner? I am full. From the second I wake up, to the seconds where I start to fall asleep. I wish mornings were later, and evenings sooner. The thought of getting out of bed drains me. I feel tired. What used to excite me is gone. My energy has run out. My overall view on life is distorted. I can breathe. I can smell, think, and see. But I feel nothing. I look for my old self, hoping one day she can be found. I used to enjoy feeling like this. I obviously didn't take it seriously because now I am miserable.

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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All discussions

Depression and anorexia

replies: 2

Worried about myself and my life

replies: 1

attention seeking, dramatic "friend"

replies: 4

Will I ever be able to control my thoughts?

replies: 3

I don't want to go back there

replies: 3

aren't centrelink supposed to help you?...

replies: 1

Wearing a mask

replies: 1

Health Anxiety fears.

replies: 4

Lost

replies: 7

Finding it really hard

replies: 1

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Depression and anorexia replies: 2

Worried about myself and my life replies: 1

attention seeking, dramatic "friend" replies: 4

Will I ever be able to control my thoughts? replies: 3

I don't want to go back there replies: 3

aren't centrelink supposed to help you?... replies: 1

Wearing a mask replies: 1

Health Anxiety fears. replies: 4

Lost replies: 7

Finding it really hard replies: 1

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Depression and anorexia

replies: 2

Worried about myself and my life

replies: 1

attention seeking, dramatic "friend"

replies: 4

Will I ever be able to control my thoughts?

replies: 3

I don't want to go back there

replies: 3

aren't centrelink supposed to help you?...

replies: 1

Wearing a mask

replies: 1

Health Anxiety fears.

replies: 4

Lost

replies: 7

Finding it really hard

replies: 1