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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Lee_a I don't want to go back there
  • replies: 3

I am 24 years old and battled severe depression a few years ago. I rarely showered or brushed my teeth for 6 months, I drank way too much, I simply got worse and worse.fortunately, I recovered and finished my studies, found a wonderful partner, lande... View more

I am 24 years old and battled severe depression a few years ago. I rarely showered or brushed my teeth for 6 months, I drank way too much, I simply got worse and worse.fortunately, I recovered and finished my studies, found a wonderful partner, landed an amazing job and built my dream home. I thought my world had fallen into place but I decided to go back to uni and do another degree, which I am failing. My job is just turning out to be a massive dead end and my wonderful partner has decided that he may not want to be with me anymore and has been having an affair. I was oblivious and was sooooo happy and now everything has crashed around me and I will have to sell my house that I spent 2 years building and only 2 weeks living in.my partner has ended his relationship and wants to work on things with me and I think he is dealing with issues of his own as well as within our relationship. Suddenly he is angry all the time and I am trying to be supportive and positive..... But it's so hard. I am slipping back into that dark place and desperately don't want to go back there.my entire life is gone and thenI have broken my shoulder. I can't cook or clean or shower or dress by myself. I can't do anything and am relying on my partner for everything, and he is doing it without complaining but I keep picturing him with her. I tried counselling but all I got was relationship advice and felt judged. i have lost 10kg in 3 weeks and am struggling to sleep but so many people around me are being so supportive. People at work, who have no idea what is going on keep inviting me to lunch and coffee just because they can see that something isn't right.i guess this is why I haven't slipped all the way back and I am so lucky for this but then I go home and sit alone and feel like nothing could be worse.

brokenbeyondrepair aren't centrelink supposed to help you?...
  • replies: 1

I applied for youth allowance as i'm studying, i'm doing it online but i just found out i got rejected for the allowance and i don't even know what to do what happens when i can no longer afford medication. I'm so scared that i'm not going to be able... View more

I applied for youth allowance as i'm studying, i'm doing it online but i just found out i got rejected for the allowance and i don't even know what to do what happens when i can no longer afford medication. I'm so scared that i'm not going to be able to afford it anymore, i don't even have a phone, i need to start paying for things at home, like board and food but because i'm not getting any money i can't do that..and i have no way of proving that i need to pay for these things. This is all just bringing me down and i'm not over 22 so i can't so for anything else.. this has got me in such a bad situation that it feels like there's no point in even trying with anything. I'm in no position to work right now plus my school work is extremely hard and takes many hours per day as i have always struggled in school

hann1805 Wearing a mask
  • replies: 1

I've been on my AD's for about a week now, but I can't seem to shake this feeling. I'm constantly feeling depressed. I have all the support in the world but still feel like if I show my real feelings, my loved ones will get mad at me. My best friend ... View more

I've been on my AD's for about a week now, but I can't seem to shake this feeling. I'm constantly feeling depressed. I have all the support in the world but still feel like if I show my real feelings, my loved ones will get mad at me. My best friend already told me to "suck it up and take the compliment" when she was complimenting on a piece of artwork I did that I thought was really bad. I just feel like I'm constantly pretending around everyone. Faking smiles, faking happiness. My motivation to continue studying has dropped, I study online so its always been hard to keep concentration. But recently its been really hard. Yes I am improving a little, I'm more alert during the day so I'm able to work properly but I keep sleeping for 14 hours on my days off, which isn't healthy.

Andy_X7 Health Anxiety fears.
  • replies: 4

Hi i'm new this forum and never usually talk about my self on these things but lately i have been having alot of things happening to me that are just stressing me out and upsetting me and i think it's time to talk to someone. Ever since i was a kid i... View more

Hi i'm new this forum and never usually talk about my self on these things but lately i have been having alot of things happening to me that are just stressing me out and upsetting me and i think it's time to talk to someone. Ever since i was a kid i think i have always had obessive thoughts about my health and other problems but the last 8 months have been a nightmare for some reason i convinced myself i have many types of cancer and that i'm done for. First i believed i had testicular cancer then it went to skin cancer, brain tumors, lymphoma, thyroid cancer and now stomach cancer. I have been to the Dr so many times this year and had scans and tests which have all returned fine but when one thing gets the all clear it's not long before a new fear shows up and it's so upsetting and stressful. My latest fear is of stomach cancer it started as just small pains in my stomach at night that have been occuring over a few months but as it has been months and i am fine i never worried and i was preoccupied with other worries however this past week i had sharp pain in my stomach breifly which then caused me to panic i started to worry that i had ignored the signs over the last few months and that i may have stomach cancer. I then start to google infomation as i always do when i'm concerned and it confirmed my worries which made me worse. I then also began to remember the symptoms a family friend had who died of stomach cancer had such as loss of appetite and being unable to eat food. And now all of sudden it hurts to eat and i feel so sick all the time i also have pain in my stomach which gets so bad that it becomes very difficult to take my mind of it. I then always return to google to search my new symptoms which makes me feel worse. I am unsure if the pain is real or just in my head i try to convince myself that it's in my head but it never works. I think the reason i might be having these panic attacks is that i'm scared of dying before i have achieved anything or had a family as i'm only 22. It's really unpsetting because my life is great at the moment with my studies and friends and i'm happy but then i always think i don't have long left and this scares me. I don't want to keep having to go to the doctors but i feel this won't end. I just have a question can a persons mind actually cause pain and physical symptoms such as difficulty eating because it feels so real. Thankyou.

Setheret Lost
  • replies: 7

Hi. This is the first time I've ever come to a place like this.And I truly don't know what to say. Maybe just an introduction to my life.I'm a male, 22 years of age. I'm at University for a degree in Primary school teaching.For the longest time that ... View more

Hi. This is the first time I've ever come to a place like this.And I truly don't know what to say. Maybe just an introduction to my life.I'm a male, 22 years of age. I'm at University for a degree in Primary school teaching.For the longest time that I can recall I have been depressed. One of the most vivid things I remember about my childhood was the day I had an argument of some kind with my mother. I ran into the backyard and prayed for God to take my life because my family would be better off and happier without me. I have a loving family that would support me to the end of the world and yet I'm still crippled by an emptiness, I don't care about anything, I barely care if I pass or fail at Uni. I can't drive a car, I had to quit or lose my job at the end of the year. I decided not to get a new job and concentrate on my studies but even that is a joke. I can be happy, when I'm with friends or playing games but its temporary. As soon as I'm alone with my thoughts I'm overpowered by self-loathing, emptiness and anxiety. My mind plays tricks on me, I know what its doing but its logic is strong. Unlike so many, I have a home, parents who care for me, friends who like me, a loving upbringing, food, internet. I see myself empty and depressed, crying and my mind just tells me how worthless I am, tells me that I should dare complain about my life when compared to most I have it good. No matter what, my mind makes me hate myself. The happiest I've ever been is when I had girlfriends, But I'm a 22 year old with no job, no car and for everything that I can see before me no future. But most relationships I've ever been in have been horrible and ended horribly. I used to accuse them. But how is that possible, the only constant is me. I need another person in my life to make me feel whole, but any person that I find, I know the best and most loving thing I can do for them is not enter their lives. There is nothing I can provide, I can't expect them to love me when even I don't. I've nevertried to commit suicide. Not for real anyway. Every day I went to Tafe I thought of ending my life, but I couldn't do that to my family, I love them too much to imagine the pain they would have to go through. I' m so afraid of failing I can't even start. Every day that goes further I feel like I'm failing those who love me most just a little more. Its paralytic.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Rocky315 Finding it really hard
  • replies: 1

I don't know who I am anymore. I could look into the mirror and just see a face. A stranger. The face may look familiar, but the person staring back at me is someone I would not have seen before. i cannot see the positives around me. They have blurre... View more

I don't know who I am anymore. I could look into the mirror and just see a face. A stranger. The face may look familiar, but the person staring back at me is someone I would not have seen before. i cannot see the positives around me. They have blurred out. Sometimes I can see a glimpse of them, but they're a bit fuzzy. Is this selfish of me? I don't go out anymore, don't spontaneously see my friends like I used to, nor make any kind of plans. I am home bound. Am I a loner? I am full. From the second I wake up, to the seconds where I start to fall asleep. I wish mornings were later, and evenings sooner. The thought of getting out of bed drains me. I feel tired. What used to excite me is gone. My energy has run out. My overall view on life is distorted. I can breathe. I can smell, think, and see. But I feel nothing. I look for my old self, hoping one day she can be found. I used to enjoy feeling like this. I obviously didn't take it seriously because now I am miserable.

Rere My story of depression
  • replies: 2

My name is Serena, I am 17 years old and was diagnosed with depression 2 years ago. It was a hard struggle for me, not having anyone to turn to that understood exactly how I was feeling. My parents tried their best to help me through the depression. ... View more

My name is Serena, I am 17 years old and was diagnosed with depression 2 years ago. It was a hard struggle for me, not having anyone to turn to that understood exactly how I was feeling. My parents tried their best to help me through the depression. I had always felt a huge sense of unwantedness where I was; at school I was bullied, at home I was fighting with my parents. All I wanted was to be dead because I thought that it would be easier if I was gone. I had few friends to turn to that I could talk too about things. People think that depression is a sign of weakness but in reality it's not. Depression affects so many people in so many different ways and a lot of people don't have help and support from friends or family and people don't realise how much something that they say can affect a person. I've been bullied all through my school-life and it used to affect me a lot because people would say all these negative things about me and it hurt because I already had low-self esteem and the bullying only made it worse for me. Not only I was getting bullied but my parents and siblings were always putting me down and I didn't have many friends at the time which left me with no-one to talk too about my problems. This was when I feel into depression with suicidal thoughts, but I thankfully got help and have since recovered from the depression, although at times I do still feel unwanted and down, I know that I am a stronger person now and I don't let people who say negative things about me bring me down. I want depression to something that everyone is aware of and don't think that it's a sign of weakness because I know that it is not. And my heart goes out to all them people who have struggled with depression for years with no-one to talk too that understands you and to the people who still struggle with depression today, you're a stronger person then you think you are!

james_ Do I have OCD?
  • replies: 2

(Numbers represent my age at the time) 6: When angry, I would think of doing intense acts of violence towards family members. 9: Organisation of pencil case and books in school tub, (sections and symmetry). I had a very good concentration at doing ju... View more

(Numbers represent my age at the time) 6: When angry, I would think of doing intense acts of violence towards family members. 9: Organisation of pencil case and books in school tub, (sections and symmetry). I had a very good concentration at doing just one thing e.g. Math. I would ‘wake up’ from my thinking to find the rest of the class had gone to do something else. I would look up gore on the internet. 10: Counting habits including: (power lines, cars, footsteps, chewing, cracks). I built a weird scoring system around this that I couldn't be kept track of as things were scored far too often. I had intense frustration and feeling of wasted time from this. I got over it before high school, but I still have counting habits, they just don’t consequently cause such stress as they did in primary school). 13: Placement of possessions in my room with symmetrical manner. Weekly cleaning of room, (dusting, window cleaning, de-cluttering) 17-18: Necessity of having my own desk at school. My friend took my spot once and I couldn't learn properly at all. Before class starts I take my pencil case from my bag and arrange it accordingly. I then open to the current page in my 4 ring partitioned binder, and get out the appropriate pen and calculator and ruler for the lesson. There are plenty of more things I could list, but I think I've addressed the main concerns along the timeline. When things are going well for me, I am really quite happy and relaxed and I feel good about life. But when things are out of order, I get quite stressed and edgy. I have always considered that I might have OCD, but then dismissed it because I don’t seem to build up as much stress as extreme cases I have seen on TV. But just recently I have considered that it might actually have it. I have never really spoken to anyone about this, especially the violent thoughts as a 6 year old, I still have those intense motives of rage that randomly spark, usually when I’m by myself and I think of someone annoying me, or an unorganized inanimate object annoys me, or having following an argument with family members. Do I have OCD? What do I do next?

freemefrommydemons Disgust
  • replies: 18

Has anyone ever repressed traumatic memories, and then suddenly just remembered what happened? I was going through a website about sexual abuse, and although I had already known I was sexually abused, I had forgotten the other time, honestly I had sh... View more

Has anyone ever repressed traumatic memories, and then suddenly just remembered what happened? I was going through a website about sexual abuse, and although I had already known I was sexually abused, I had forgotten the other time, honestly I had shoved it to the back of my mind and then all of a sudden the memories flooded back in. I feel so disgusted, and lost. I feel unclean, because at the age of 7 I was already being abused, and I just feel.. i dont know. Lost, disgusted and sad. I've been losing hope a lot lately, that im never going to be able to feel happiness again since its been so long and this has made me just withdraw, and lose even more hope for life. Im just rambling now, sorry

SadTumblrAddict Sad, tired, alone and depressed
  • replies: 1

I'm just so sick of the abuse people give me at school. My family is worse than broken. I'm so sick of everything and I just want to crawl into a hole and never come back out. I am always sad, even for no reasonable reason. I am always tired because ... View more

I'm just so sick of the abuse people give me at school. My family is worse than broken. I'm so sick of everything and I just want to crawl into a hole and never come back out. I am always sad, even for no reasonable reason. I am always tired because I can't sleep. I hate my body, I hate my face, I hate myself. My life is spiralling out of control and I can't keep up.

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