'Toxic' friendships

[daisyqueen]

Sorry, I've already posted last night but I feel like this is the only place I can ... connect. Which is saying something.

If I step back and put distance between myself and my friends, I'll lose them and I'm terrified.

I'm hopefully moving states come the new year as I've just finished year 12 and it's going to be harder to keep in contact, as even now I'm struggling to cope with keeping in touch ... and struggling with my depression and anxiety.

What do you suggest I do? Personal experiences? I'm so lost. Sorry and thank you.

[159357]

I'm fairly lost too as i've lost interest in sports and video games. But if those friends also like playing the same videogames or maybe you decide to learn a language together. Try to make a competition but don't boast your superiority if it is there.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi daisyqueen,

Thanks for your post! I'm glad you decided to reach out and share what's been going on for you. I know that it can be hard to connect but it's always good to feel like you're not alone and that there's someone you can talk to about this sort of stuff. We have people on the forums who've been here for years, so you're always welcome to post as much as you like.

In my experience high school was a really rough time for me. I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety (and saw that you did too in your last post). Often it can feel like too much pressure with study and friends and having our lives all mapped out. For me, I had people I never connected with, others kind of drifted away, and others I remained close with for a few years. It took me a while to learn it, but friendships do come and go. I now have a few best friends who I am close with, but I feel like I can really be myself around them; even my depressed self. One thing that I wish I'd told myself in high school was that it gets better. We never really know where we'll end up or what we'll end up doing, but that's not a bad thing.

Have you had a chance to talk to a counsellor? It can be great to talk to someone about what's going on so you don't have to bottle it up.

[LiveToday]

Hey daisyqueen,

I have been in similar circumstances as to what you are experiencing. Maintaining friendships can be really difficult, especially if you're stressed or struggling with something. From personal experience, it takes 2 to build any friendship or relationship. Maybe if things are a little tough right now, you could try communicating with them about whats going on. Everyone falls in and out of friendships but if you are honest and communicate with the person/people.......the person is aware of what may be causing this and show support. People don't usually know unless there told.

[daisyqueen]

Thank you all for your responses and I'm sorry mine is so terribly late.

I'm new to BeyondBlue and struggle to find my way around, and therefore where I'm supposed to find my old posts. Finally found it haha.

My circumstances have not really changed as of late. They've gotten worse. I don't talk to anyone I was 'friends' with in high school, and I blame myself and my mental state for that.

I went to my GP and received a referral so I can visit a psychologist of my choosing. I'm yet to work up to courage to book and appointment ...

Again, I'm sorry for my very late reply.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey daisyqueen,

Thanks for your post and great to hear from you again!

Sorry this forum is so confusing! One of the things I do is bookmark this page - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums - It's the home page for the forums, and then you just click on the 'My Threads' tab. Hopefully next time should be easier!

I'm really glad that you were able to talk to your GP about this and I'm sorry things have gotten worse!

It can be incredibly hard to work up that courage but having that referral is a big step. Have you thought about who you want to see or who is around that might be the right fit for you?