Things suck

[Depressed_meme]

I’ve had depression and anxiety for nearly 8 years now and it never seems to get better. I pretty much never want to be here except for the days where I get almost a manic feeling and happy for no reason like I’m on a high, only to crash and burn soon after. (Hypomania it seems)

I went off antidepressants recently as I just wanted to bloody remember what it felt like to not have a dry mouth, feel like a zombie and other issues these meds cause.

At first I felt great and now life is unbearable yet again and I can’t cope with anything. My anxiety is so crippling and my depression is so bad that I never leave the house because I don’t have true energy and I feel like I’m becoming psychotic, overanalysing every irrelevant detail and magnifying it 1000 times in my head and get so paranoid I assume everyone hates me despite there being no actual proof of it.

To top it off, I can’t find a job or move out and my friend recently passed from suicide.

I know 98% of what I think is irrational but I can’t stop it. So tomorrow I’m getting a psychiatrist referral so I can try and end this.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

A referral is a very intelligent move that we dont read about often. Well done with your attitude.

There can be a light at the end of the tunnel. You might need to be a little more proactive and positive in your frame of mind.

Medication tweeking/change can be discussed with your psych.

In the meantime please read the first post of the following threads, use Google

Beyondblue Topic medication is a whirlpool

Beyondblue Topic what lifes like at the end of the tunnel

Beyondblue Topic depression, a ship on the high seas

Beyondblue Topic be radical

TonyWK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Depressed_meme,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

I just saw your post and I realise that it's probably been just about a week since you wrote in - how did you get on with the psychiatrist referral?

I'm really sorry that you're going through this, but at the same time I was so wrapped to hear that you know your thoughts are irrational and working to arrange that referral. That's a big sign of hope and strength, and certainly not an easy thing to find when you're wrapped up in depression and anxiety!

I wonder too if you've thought about trying a different medication? How long has it been since you stopped - did you taper off or go cold turkey? That in itself can make a big difference to your mood.

Hope that you can find the help that you need.