Struggling with Post-grad life

[Karv94]

I don't really know where to begin but to say everything is a mess and I don't know how to make things better

I graduated from uni earlier this year, slaving away at a Media degree which I completely despise now. I haven't had the desire to work in the industry. Haven't applied for any jobs. I'm trying my best to keep afloat, working my casual job while dipping my feet into volunteer work.

Personally, I've lost myself over the past 3 years - meeting the wrong people, hook ups, lust etc. I get a lump in my throat thinking how much time I've wasted - frustrated and miserable is how I am right now.

Along with trying to pick myself up I have to deal with my 30 yr old brother who does nothing to help himself. Sadly, I have no compassion to help him. I'm struggling enough to keep myself from crumbling

I'm sick of my life story.

[Croix]

Dear Karv94~

Welcome here. You sound very down, and I'm not sure if that is how it should be - I"ll come back to that.

First off though I would like to talk about your uni experience. I taught at uni for a very long time and saw all sorts of folk pass thought. Two things immediately spring to mind. The first is that obtaining your degree is a real accomplishment (irrespective of the discipline) . Uni is not so much designed to teach you all about one particular area of endeavor as to give you the opportunity both to apply yourself and learn to deal with life - and future learning.

So you now know you can study, stick to it and pass. Not wasted time at all. You also probably realize that over one third of all students go on to work in areas unrelated to their studies.

OK, now you despise media, well like anything else it can be used for good or bad - you know that already. An example is right here, without those skilled in all avenues of media beyondblue itself would not be able to fight stigma around mental health, fund and take part in research or any one of the other many aspects of mental health it fights for, including host this post!

There is nothing stopping you using your expertise for worthy causes, you mentioned you were considering volunteering anyway.

Now to get back to my hint at the beginning. When I've been suffering from depression my thoughts often seemed a bit like yours. If I was in your position I'd see a GP in a long consultation and say in detail how I felt. See if you too have depression or other illness that needs attention. I did not improve without medical help.

I also found that personal support - I had a great partner - made a big difference. Being able to say how I was without pretense lifted a real load. Is there anyone in your life like that, who you can talk to, who cares?

Would you like to come back and talk some more?

Croix

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Karv, judging by the 94 at the end of your name I'm guessing we're about the same age. I kind of had a similar situation actually, I did a degree I didn't really like at all and felt completely lost for about six months. I know it's a cliche, but we're still super young and you still have time to find something that you really love. You still have time to build your life! I started a degree in psychology this year and I'll be at university till I'm about 26, but this is definitely the thing I want to do with my life. My advice would be to just try and dip your toes into as many things as possible - volunteering sounds like an amazing thing to be involved in. It's hard looking back at the past and regretting the things you've done, but I think there's a lot of relief in knowing that it's all in the past and that's where it belongs. Sure, you may have regrets but there's kind of a sense of peace knowing that it's no longer really a part of you. I agree with Croix about talking to a psychologist/counsellor/life coach who can provide you with some insight into feeling a bit better or putting you on the right track. I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Remember that people have to help themselves, and if you need to make your health and wellbeing a priority then you should absolutely do that. J.

[Soapyrows]

Hi Karv

I think the most important thing here is to not be too hard on yourself. I finished my first degree nearly 10 years ago, and my Masters 5 years ago. I have never worked in the industries, until now, where I am starting to feel ready to consider it.

I spent most of my twenties figuring myself out through travel. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I bought a campervan and travelled. I worked on farms. I went overseas. I did whatever I felt like doing, when I felt like it, and did my best to disregard everyone around me's opinions when they weren't wanted. Travel might be great for you, or it might not be right for you now. Only you know. But I would go deep inside yourself and find something that you've always wanted to do, and do it. If your parents, or people around you aren't supportive, do it anyway. Because it's your truth.
I found it really hard to stop caring what other people thought. But it worked eventually. And once I started travelling I realised there were soooooo many other people out there in the same position (especially graduates!)
Give yourself a big pat on the back for finishing your degree, but remind yourself that it's only one chapter in a very long and exciting life.

Good luck 🙂