something is wrong with my brain

[marshmallow_24]

I don't know what is wrong with me, but there has to be something. Life isn't great, I'm having a lot of friendship issues and struggling financially as I'm unemployed but usually I can feel okayish. recently something tiny and insignificant happens and I just go into this depressive moods. I know what my brain is telling me like I'm not good enough and everything is my fault, he doesn't like you and is just messing around is not completely true but I just cant feel good and have a constant need for assurance which when isn't fulfilled I get emotional. I feel like I'm always crying and an unmotivated to do what I need to do. I have always had these moods but they haven't been as intense until recently and I don't know what to do or how to minimise it

[Yelmel]

Hi marshmallow,

I have bipolar which comes with long and unpredictable phases of depression. Sometimes I won't realise how crappy I'm feeling, until something insignificant goes wrong and suddenly I'm connecting the dots to a million possibilities and past events that have unreasonably upset me as well. These thoughts and nasty self-talk build up over time, making the depression deeper and more intense.

Look up CBT therapy if you're interested in this path. This type of therapy focusses on learning about your thoughts and the impact on your feelings and behavior.

Lack of motivation and lots of crying could be a starting point with your GP. They can set up a reduced fee psychologist referral for you.
I found therapy helpful to understand and recognise my feelings, and in turn building strategies over time to strengthen other areas of my life.