hi thank you for replying...
about your plan to move out, i honestly feel like that is impossible, for many reasons. firstly, support payments would not be enough to support me properly, especially in my last year of school. i dont hae a job to help support myself, nor do i have the support to help me find a job. finding and keeping a job for me is a world war with my anxiety... my parents are slowly seeing their mistakes and trying to "support" and "understand" me better, but its always met with laughing, sarcasm and threats when i try and tlak about what is happening and how it makes me feel. how can they think i am normal when in comparison to the average of people my age, is depressing in itself. in spite of all this, they would not let me move out and undertake those things that even i think - past my anxiety - would actually help me...
in the end, moving out would mean i lose the ability to go places and goto the gym to make my image better once life starts to get on the upside. im not lazy, i just have no motivation because this life doesnt feel worth living.
my mother, doesnt understand how so many things affect me the way they do, or maybe she just denies it, she wants me to be a nroml person... im by far from normal on so many levels.
and my father cant accept anything fullstop. he hates who i am for being so alone, for being different...
i just want somone to care, someone to love me... i keep reiterating this, only because it plays over so often in my head
