Should I be concerned?

[Musco_monkey]

Hi,

 Names Jack, as you can tell from my forum name I'm a musician from brisbane. I'm 17 years old and I am currently studying at a music orientated high school. Basically to sum it up, in the past I had these really bad thoughts of demotivation, low self-esteem, anxiety and extreme stress and now these thoughts and feelings has raised once again. 

 And I'm going to be honest, I'm a very fortunate kid with this school and the opportunities I have had in the music industry. However I don't understand why these thoughts and feelings have came back. Almost every time I come back home from school I break down in tears or even on the train I just break down in tears. In a sense I know the reason but that reason hasn't even happend.

 For example, I analyse everything way to much. I always judge by body language, facial expression and actions, so if I get a slight "hint" that this person doesn't like me, my head for some reason explodes that small hint into a huge problem and that's when I begin to feel real down. Today I was at school and my girlfriend didn't really talk to me as much as she usually would, I'm not sure why but the thought "I'm going to lose her" came into my head and that was all I was stressing about all day. However when I'v calmed down (usually late at night) I know for sure that I was worrying over nothing.

Another example would be related to my music. There are days where I am extremely motivated to get stuff done like that EP cover I was finishing or various other works then there are days where I feel extremely unmotivated. Unmotivated to the point where I feel useless and I question to myself why do I even try? It's been months since I'v experienced these issues and now they have come back again. What does this all mean? Should I seek counselling or should I just brush it off and hope for the best?

 Cheers, Jack   

[Martii]

Hey Jack,

Good on you for posting about what's going on. I'm not an expert, but I don't think you should brush things off and hope for the best. I think you should seek some support and it's great that you have come here. I can relate to some of the things that you have said. I overanalyse everything that people say and do and take it to extremes - if someone takes too long to reply to a text I think I have done something wrong and they must hate me. If I say something stupid I worry all day that the person who heard it thinks I am stupid and spend every minute just thinking about it. It drives me crazy! I am 26 now but I was exactly the same when I was your age. I didn't think until recently that I have some kind of anxiety - I am pretty sure I have OCD. I m managing alright though because I am actually working and studying in the mental health industry, and seek alot of support from my friends and my boyfriend and my family 🙂 there are alot of great services for young people, like the SANE forums - they are another online forum for you to get help from in case you want to remain anonymous. There is also a really good database which you can type in your location and some key words and some support services around your area will come up. 

Don't underestimate the support of people who care for you - my boyfriend makes me feel a lot better, just by calming me down and talking to me and doing relaxing things with me. if you have someone to confide in or trust like a friend or family member then go for it. good luck!

[Jacko777]

Hi Jack,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum, I am sure many will relate to what you are saying. Yes I think you could seek counseling, find out if there is something behind this. I know for me I could never have worked out what was wrong with me without the support and advice of a professional.

I'm not sure what is going on with you Jack but I know these things can be worked on and you will find greater peace and happiness. Some of your issues remind me of the fear of loss that I suffered from, spawned from a life event. I had jealousy and couldn't trust people, i was depressed and anxious. Eventually I got help and over time I have got much better.

In terms of what other people think of you, I have come to the belief that I have no idea what other people think of me. Regardless of what I think they are thinking they quite probably are thinking something completely different. So I choose not to lose energy to something I know nothing of. With practice this has worked for me. I try and stay focused on being true to my self, respond to life in ways that I expect of my self, it doesn't matter what other people do, that is a reflection of them, not me. The more I practice the more it becomes a mindset.

I hope you seek some help, you can visit your GP and tell them what is going on, you could find a counselor, check the 'Get Support' tab and 'Find a Professional' on the home page, or you can give the Beyond Blue phone service a call it's free and 24/7, they are there to help. Keep us posted, talk any time.

Jack

[Musco_monkey]

Thanks for that Jack.

 Your reply has really helped. Today I'm goig to distract myself as much as possible and each time I get a worrying thought I'm just going to do my best to disract my mind on other things.

 Also I'm going to see my school counciller today.

[Jacko777]

That's terrific Jack. If you feel like it, let us know how you go with the school counselor, they are far more qualified than me! You have positive things to shift your focus to, starting with music. Music could be your focus, the thing that motivates you to be aware and sharp, so you can perform and partake to the best of your ability. I hope you have a great day.

Jack

[Neil_1]

Hi there Jack

And just as Jacko has done, I’d like to welcome you to Beyond Blue and to thank you for coming here and providing your post.

Jacko has provided you with some really awesome advice in his response to you and actually it’s some advice that I will work hard on trying for myself – the part about where you look and watch other people who interact with you.   For me, it’s not so much strangers, but people who then and there, right in front of me or who are part of a group that I’m with and you can’t help but look, watch and analyse.  And for me, I’m like you Jack – it’s not a good thing, but Jacko has given some good advice there.

May I ask with regard to your music, what kind of genre do you either play or enjoy?

Are you a solo performer or are you in amongst a band that you’ve got going and what is your weapon of choice?

My son, also 17 is heavily into music also – and his comment on his weapon of choice is that “he hits things with sticks” – ie:  a drummer and he’s going from strength to strength with it.  He really loves the metal scene and the heavier, the better and those ‘growling’ kind of lead singers – um, I use the term singers very unwisely there;   so you can tell, that’s not my particular variety to listen too.

But we support him with it and he’s got a couple of groups happening at the moment – one for a school production that they’re doing and another external to school and they’re working on some kind EP, LP or CD, I’m not quite sure, but there’s a lot of work going into it.

Also, is your family supportive of your musical aspirations?   I would imagine so, considering of the school that you’re attending.

Would love to hear back from you.

Neil

[Jacko777]

Thanks so much Neil and thanks Martii for sharing your thoughts, the more appropriate support we can find the better. I hope Martii you have a professional diagnosis, obviously this would help with your recovery and I wish you well with your study.

I hope you had a good day Jack, I reckon you deserve good days.

I got sick and tired of my sensitivity to what others thought of me. I did seek help and had various cognitive therapies over the years. The humor was not lost on me, I did come to laugh at myself for thinking that I knew what others had in their minds. I try not to judge people because of how they respond to me, I practice being true to my self, I am a friendly and compassionate person, I should focus on that. I care about the people I come in contact with regardless of their appearance or inability to communicate. It would be sad if I missed an opportunity to give love because of my preconceived idea about folded arms or a contorted face or even anger and confrontation. Water off a ducks back, if I know where the truth lies, I know what is a reflection of them and what is me, then I practice letting it go.

Jack

[Musco_monkey]

Thank you so much Neil, Martii and Jacko for your helpful replies! I'v been feeling a bit better today and seeing the councillor really helped me as well! And I'm into almost any genre and I especially love the metal scene :)! At the moment I am a solo performer but I'v started up a few groups amongst the people at my school and thats helped a bit too. 

I'v also been trying to be spiritually connected and have been doing meditation exercises.

 Again thank you all! 

[Jacko777]

G'day Jack,

Thanks for your reply, i am glad you are feeling a bit better and I hope you are developing a plan of action to work on feeling better.

I hope you keep trying to be spiritually connected, I also have been on a spiritual journey and practiced meditation. Being 'spiritual' to me means being true to my self. I think of my conditioned mind as a curtain in front of my spirit, when the two work together you will find 'enlightenment'. You can see your spirit when you give unconditional love, I believe that is your true self. I could talk about all this for days! Don't hesitate to talk further. 

Jack

[Martii]

Hey Jack, just wanted to apologize as in my first post to you I posted a link to a good site but I am not allowed to post links to it was taken off, which is why what I wrote probably didn't make as much sense - sorry! I am glad you are feeling better today and I hope you find lots of joy and happiness in your music - what you are doing sounds awesome and I hope you have a great and successful future with what you are doing!