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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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sweetflea Worried about what I feeling lately
  • replies: 1

For the past few weeks I get this feeling like I'm in someone's imagination or dream. I feel as if I'm not real and everything I do, think, say and feel is someone controlling me through their imagination. I've been trying to get my life in check but... View more

For the past few weeks I get this feeling like I'm in someone's imagination or dream. I feel as if I'm not real and everything I do, think, say and feel is someone controlling me through their imagination. I've been trying to get my life in check but this feeling show up out of nowhere at random times. It makes me wondering if I did something completely stupid would it actually happen and if I died what I actually die. I not sure what do about it, I used to get this feel when I was in high school, when my life was falling apart slowly. I went to different doctors and they told me nothing and that they don't understand. I have explain this feeling so many times when I was in high school. I'm afraid that they will say the same thing if I go see a doctor about this. I need help figuring this out. Has anyone felt this before?

Amy6 Personality or anxiety?
  • replies: 4

Hello, I've never really done this before but I needed to get my thoughts out of me head. Over the last few months I've really been feeling like a fraud and feeling inadequate at work. To give you a bit of context, I graduated med school last year an... View more

Hello, I've never really done this before but I needed to get my thoughts out of me head. Over the last few months I've really been feeling like a fraud and feeling inadequate at work. To give you a bit of context, I graduated med school last year and I'm currently doing my internship. I got a job at my first preference. So far I've had the best rotations and the nicest registrars. But I'm still struggling. I constantly feel like everybody hates me despite no one doing anything actively bad. My registrars appear lovely, but they almost never speak to me unless they have to and rarely make eye contact. They speak to the other intern and resident. There's a lot of banter between them but I'm often quiet in the background and wishing I can fade away and be unnoticed. I'm shy and awkward. I'm terrified of making conversation. I'm worried of making mistakes. I'm afraid to ask questions because it'll show how incompetent I am. All in all I'm very lonely at work. I want to learn. I am interested in what I do. But I find it hard to show this. I avoid taking opportunities because of the fear of making a mistake, or being judged, or looking stupid. I come across as indifferent and incompetent. Everyday at work is a state of constant anxiety: Am I going to be late to work, have I ordered all the tests, did I forget something, this patient is sick what do I do, I'm supposed to know how to do this but I have no idea, I'm scared of asking my registrar, what are my registrars going to think of me, the surgeon told me off for shaking when I was told to hold something still she probably hates me, no one wants me at work because I only make things worse, I had the simplest job but I stuffed that up too, I shouldn't try to do this because I'll just make it worse, how am I going to find a referee for next year when everyone hates me, how do I apply for a job next year when I don't even believe in myself, and the list goes on. At what point do you say medicine isn't for me because I'm just too incompetent and will never be good enough, that I won't survive in this career where you are constantly judged and expected to be perfect. At what point is it anxiety and at what point is it a personality trait? Where is the distinction between being shy and awkward and introverted and being anxious? At what point do you stop blaming anxiety and admit to yourself that you are a shit person?

LoverHater Really hating my life right now
  • replies: 3

I’m really hating myself and my life right now. I moved away from my family and friends to have a chance at getting a better job. I moved here in early February and I still don’t have a job. I’ve been applying for a minimum of 20 jobs a month as is t... View more

I’m really hating myself and my life right now. I moved away from my family and friends to have a chance at getting a better job. I moved here in early February and I still don’t have a job. I’ve been applying for a minimum of 20 jobs a month as is the requirements to receive Centrelink payments and since feb I’ve had a total of 3 interviews which went nowhere. Since I broke up with my ex last year all of the friends I met through him don’t talk to me anymore. I now live an hour and a half away from my best friend who has a baby, and 2 hours away from my family. I moved with my younger brother and family friend who are 5 years younger than me. They have friends come over and stay who I am friendly with but they exclude me a lot. It makes me sad but I understand because they’re a lot younger than me (18-20, I’m 24). Because I’m only on Centrelink I barely get enough money to survive. I pay for my rent and bills, and then whatever food I can afford, and occasionally fill my tank up. I can’t afford to go and visit my friends or family because it costs nearly a full tank of petrol. My online friends don’t invite me to play with them anymore. So instead I sit on my ass all day everyday trying to entertain myself whilst getting fatter and fatter by the minute. I’m fatter than I’ve ever been and I can’t afford to do anything about it. All I can afford to do is walk, which is a bit iffy because my town is a bit dodgy. I’m just so sad and lonely. I’m currently on medication for anxiety but I feel the depression is crawling in. I feel so worthless not being able to get a job. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I’ve just finished uni and I have good customer service skills. I personalise and customise every single cover letter and yet I’m not good enough for anyone. But when I actually get an interview I think about actually working I’m filled to the brim with anxiety just thinking about being in such an unfamiliar environment. Meeting new people exhausts me so even though I’m lonely, trying to meet new people just isn’t appealing to me. And when I try to talk to people and create a relationship I just feel annoying. The longer this is going on the harder it is for me to get back into a “normal” life. I feel like everything will just be solved if I get a job but nobody is bloody willing to give me a chance. I think I need to go back to counselling but that isn’t going to solve my problems. I don’t know what to do. But I’m so sick of all of this.

hestias I feel like I've hit rock bottom
  • replies: 8

Hello everyone This is my first time posting, I've read the forums and found everyone really encouraging so hopefully this goes well. Basically, I'm in the third year of my psychology degree and am hoping to go on to do honours and eventually become ... View more

Hello everyone This is my first time posting, I've read the forums and found everyone really encouraging so hopefully this goes well. Basically, I'm in the third year of my psychology degree and am hoping to go on to do honours and eventually become registered as a psychologist. Unfortunately, I've failed two courses in my 2nd sem last year, did two to make up in the summer and failed them as well, and now I'm struggling this semester. I got great marks in my first year of uni, and the first semester my second year, but after that everything went downhill. I've realized the problem is myself. I've always had a bad problem with procrastination since high school, but I always managed to get things done. But ever since the middle of last year, I'm unable to make myself to work and study, even when I know I have deadlines. I procrastinate, get unbearably anxious and guilty because of deadlines, procrastinate to take my mind off the guilt, and just not do it, even when I want to. I don't know what's wrong with me, whether I'm just super lazy, or have a procrastination problem. Not only that, I've lost all motivation for everything I enjoyed. I have brain fog all the time, no imagination, I've used to love writing poems and stories but now I have no creativity, feel disconnected from everything and just feel emotionally numb. Sometimes I just feel like lying in bed all day, and I only get up because my mum tells me to. It's been like this since my first year of uni, but I tried to force those feelings away and just do good in my studies, which I'm failing now. I barely see my friends because I can't make myself leave the house, and I feel lonely even when I'm with a group of friends or just people. I feel really pathetic and worthless, and like a burden, my grades are everything to me, and I hate that I won't be able to get into honors and have basically ruined my life. My parents are super proud of me in my degree (I haven't told them about my failed classes) and I get so anxious when I think about telling them, especially cause I'll have to retake the classes I failed next year. I've broken down crying because of how anxious and horrible I feel, and sometimes I just want it all to stop. I'm so sorry for writing so much, this is actually the first time I've ever put all that I'm feeling into words. I just don't know where to go from here.

Hello_there How to stop being selfish in a relationship
  • replies: 1

I suffer from a low self esteem (which is an easy pathway to other mental health issues) and it really does make having a relationship hard, and it's hard to accept someone else loves you when you can't accept hat yourself. My boyfriend is a friendly... View more

I suffer from a low self esteem (which is an easy pathway to other mental health issues) and it really does make having a relationship hard, and it's hard to accept someone else loves you when you can't accept hat yourself. My boyfriend is a friendly person he has friends, including ones which are girls... I can't help but mind when he's giving them attention It's not like he doesn't give me a lot of attention, were still in highschool, so I get to see him during the lunch breaks. I've tried so hard to accept it I've told him how I feel but I don't I want him to change I want.me to change Sometimes ( but less often) I feel the same even if it's a guy friend He's just such an amazing person, I don't want anyone to take him away... Please can someone help me cope with this toxic trait

spontaneous sunflower Alternative options to completing VCE?
  • replies: 3

Hello! I'm currently in year 11 at a public school.I previously attended an all-girls catholic school but moved as I didn't feel like the school suited me. I've was diagnosed with anxiety at 13, went through a depressive episode last year and I'm on ... View more

Hello! I'm currently in year 11 at a public school.I previously attended an all-girls catholic school but moved as I didn't feel like the school suited me. I've was diagnosed with anxiety at 13, went through a depressive episode last year and I'm on medication to help with my anxiety. I'm currently doing VCE and i'm on thin ice. There's a minimum 90% attendance, and in most of my subjects I've dropped below 80% attendance. I got like 5 emails today saying I'm receiving an N (non-satisfactory) outcome for Unit 1, aka I've failed basically all my classes due to attendance. My parents and year level coordinators are determined to help me finish VCE by next year, i.e. as I have a mental illness I am eligible for special consideration so I am exempt from the 90% rule. But after receiving those emails, I'm starting to doubt my ability to get through VCE, even if my poor attendance won't affect my score anymore. Since god knows when, I've been dreaming of the day i can leave high school. Literally the main reason I refuse to repeat another year of school is because I just want to get out of here as soon as I can. Last week I had exams and I flunked them so hard. My brain turned to cement and I did so poorly. I've never done so bad at a school assessment EVER. At this point I'm certain I won't get a decent ATAR without destroying my mental health and burning out. I'm now questioning why I should even put myself through that if I might not even go to uni and therefore not need an ATAR. I used to want to go to uni but now I'm finding there are more cons to going to uni than not.. e.g. costs a lot, Arts degree won't guarantee me a job, more of what I don't enjoy (sitting in classrooms, writing pages and pages, exams). I know there are other options to VCE but I'm not exactly sure what and how. I could do TAFE or whatever,I guess. I'm not really educated on the other options as I always intended to do VCE and my parents always pushed me towards VCE also. Another issue is if I decide to discontinue VCE I'm afraid my parents will be disappointed and that my friends will judge me for it (but at the same time, I doubt they would be surprised). Would really love some guidance and advice. As VCE 3/4 subject selection is next term, I'd like to figure out a sense of direction sooner rather than later.

karabat heyo
  • replies: 1

i want some advice. last year around this time of the year, my best friend of seven years broke my heart and trust and left me in the middle of a hospital room. Since that time till now, i have lost trust in everyone and have begun to resent people a... View more

i want some advice. last year around this time of the year, my best friend of seven years broke my heart and trust and left me in the middle of a hospital room. Since that time till now, i have lost trust in everyone and have begun to resent people around me. idk how i am able to not resent people and to trust again.

Hello_there Am I depressed?
  • replies: 3

I know you can't exactly tell me, especially if you aren't a profession or whatever, but I will be grateful for your opinions. It might sound cliche, but I feel sad. I feel lonely, despite being surrounded by people, sad when my life isn't anything t... View more

I know you can't exactly tell me, especially if you aren't a profession or whatever, but I will be grateful for your opinions. It might sound cliche, but I feel sad. I feel lonely, despite being surrounded by people, sad when my life isn't anything to be sad about, and I feel hopeless Hopeless with my studies, with my progress in life... I don't know what to do, I can't remember the last time my resting mood was sadness... A lingering sadness that just follows me. My self esteem isn't great, I over think things and I put myself down. I put myself down for things that are unreasonable "I only got a 74, but this person got 80" things like that Or if I do badly, I don't think "how can I improve", just that I suck. I don't have suicidal thoughts, though... But I guess I do feel like not existing sometimes Please help

safesin No motivation for life.
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone, I've been struggling with depression & anxiety for only about 5 years now, however, throughout my entire life I've always had no motivation for anything, including life and I've always given up the instant I struggle with something. Thi... View more

Hey everyone, I've been struggling with depression & anxiety for only about 5 years now, however, throughout my entire life I've always had no motivation for anything, including life and I've always given up the instant I struggle with something. This has recently become a major problem since I started studying for a diploma, no motivation is there to complete the work/assessments given to me, there's such a big load of work that it overwhelms me and my depression starts to kick in, then my anxiety joins because I fee like I have the inability to do anything and I start to freak out, but like I said.......I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm beginning to think life isn't meant for me.

Hello_there Relationship problems :(
  • replies: 1

I'm in highschool at the moment and I'm in a relationship, we've been together for a bit over 1.5 years. One thing I've noticed a difference between us is friendships. I struggle to have friends, it's a bit of a story which I've talked to with a coun... View more

I'm in highschool at the moment and I'm in a relationship, we've been together for a bit over 1.5 years. One thing I've noticed a difference between us is friendships. I struggle to have friends, it's a bit of a story which I've talked to with a counseller but basically, I don't feel comfortable in friendships and I don have any close friends. For the msot part of it that's fine. But my boyfriend, however, has friendships with other girls. He seems pretty involved into heir lives and he talks to them a lot. It bothers me... I know it's unfair of me to think those things and we have talked about it. I can't tell if they're jsut a normal friendship between a girl and a guy because I don't have experience myself. They talk a lot of days and they seem to get a long and can have kind of personal talks, it has also bothered me he's asked one for relationship advise (despite her not actually knowing me or having a good relationship herself!!) Anyways, if anyone could give me some coping strategies that would be great I can't find myself to be fine with it Thank you

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