How to stop being selfish in a relationship

[Hello_there]

I suffer from a low self esteem (which is an easy pathway to other mental health issues) and it really does make having a relationship hard, and it's hard to accept someone else loves you when you can't accept hat yourself.
My boyfriend is a friendly person he has friends, including ones which are girls...
I can't help but mind when he's giving them attention
It's not like he doesn't give me a lot of attention, were still in highschool, so I get to see him during the lunch breaks.
I've tried so hard to accept it
I've told him how I feel but I don't I want him to change
I want.me to change
Sometimes ( but less often) I feel the same even if it's a guy friend
He's just such an amazing person, I don't want anyone to take him away...
Please can someone help me cope with this toxic trait

[White_Rose]

Dear Hello_there

Welcome to beyondblue and the forum.

I am sorry you feel insecure about your boyfriend. You are not alone in this. Do you have any hobbies you do on your own or with other people? If not I think it would help you to stop getting upset about the BF because you have interests of your own. It can be hard to see someone you care about interacting with someone else.

You have good insight for yourself and that's a great start. Think about why your BF talks to others. How many times do you talk to others? Do these conversations make you or BF not want to be with the other? Probably not. We have relationships of all sorts with others but this does not mean your BF prefers someone else to you.

Does your school have a chaplain or similar? If so perhaps you could talk to him/her. Have you had any counselling in the past? Can you talk with your mom or perhaps one of your siblings? Look at the information available on beyondblue. You can find it under The Facts at the top of the page. This may help you.

Love to hear from you again.

Mary