Am I depressed?

[Hello_there]

I know you can't exactly tell me, especially if you aren't a profession or whatever, but I will be grateful for your opinions.
It might sound cliche, but I feel sad.
I feel lonely, despite being surrounded by people, sad when my life isn't anything to be sad about, and I feel hopeless
Hopeless with my studies, with my progress in life...
I don't know what to do, I can't remember the last time my resting mood was sadness... A lingering sadness that just follows me.
My self esteem isn't great, I over think things and I put myself down. I put myself down for things that are unreasonable "I only got a 74, but this person got 80" things like that
Or if I do badly, I don't think "how can I improve", just that I suck.

I don't have suicidal thoughts, though... But I guess I do feel like not existing sometimes
Please help

[PamelaR]

Hi Hello_there and welcome

Things are sounding a bit rough for you at the moment. And yes, you're right, I'm not a professional so really can't tell you what's happening. My thoughts are it would be good if you go to your doctor or school counsellor.

In the meantime, you could do the Anxiety and depression checklist (K10 test). They will tell you what steps you should take next. You can take the results of the test along to your doctor.

It does sound like you could do with some TLC. Is there anyone in your family you could talk to about how you are feeling? Being sad like you are could have a number of causes. It's finding out why that is important. It will help you feel better about yourself. No one is worthless. Sometimes people say this to us and that's what causes all the pain and lack of self esteem.

Is there anything that you do that makes you happy? E.g. taking your dog for a walk, for patting your cat, reading a funny story?

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Hello_there]

I have my boyfriend to talk to, I don't feel comfortable talking to any of my family, though and so having a doctor/psychologist isn't exactly possible...
Some TLC would be nice 😞 but I don't like talking about my 'problems' and I can only seem to get words out over text
Thank you for your response

[White_Rose]

A warm welcome to you Hello_there

Not being able to express yourself happens a lot to others as well. It is a nuisance. May I suggest you write a list of sorts about those things that trouble you from time to time. It's a good way to get your thoughts in order without the on-the-spot pressure of being asked to describe something. It's a list you can add to whenever you think of something but I suggest you do NOT remove any item. If it bothered you once it will still be worthwhile to talk about it.

May I ask how old you are? If you have your own Medicare card (because you are 14 or over) you can see the GP on your own. Best to check with reception if they will bulk bill you first. It would be best to go with a family member who can stay in the waiting room while you talk to the doctor. Not wanting to speak to mom or dad is the normal thing. My children do not always see me as the first person to chat to. However you are very unhappy and I believe your parents would be upset to find you could not confide in them.

You can see a psychologist via a mental health plan and your GP can find someone who bulk bills. I am not keen on you doing this without your parents' knowledge as they are the first who should know. It could also make for difficulties in the family. When you make your list can you show it to mom or dad or perhaps an older sibling.

I think you managed to say what is bothering you very well in your first post. Copy it and add to it. No need to worry about how you say it. We are here to talk to you and give you support even though we may not answer immediately. Pleas continue to post here.

Mary