Severe School Stress; How to cope???

[SarahLulu]

Hi everyone,

Lately ive been having really bad stress associated with many things but mainly school. And then when I seem to get a top of things I get a bad SAC score and I get really burned out and give up. Im doing VCE units 1 and 2 and one unit 3 and 4 subject. I'm not sure how to cope with the stress. My depression is sort of under control and my thoughts are too but Im scared if I keep going at this rate then Ill spiral into a depressive episode. I'm not sure how to cope, other than just keep studying and just accept that its not the end of the world. Any tips???

Sarah

[Zeal]

Hey Sarah,

You sound as though you're under a lot of pressure with study, which is unfortunately wreaking havoc with your stress levels. In Year 12, I didn't deal with the stress well. I wish I had seen the senior school counsellor. If there is a counsellor, psychologist, chaplain or someone similar at your school, it would be great to talk to them.
It may seem awkward at first, but it could make you feel more supported at school. Even the act of talking about concerns is beneficial.

One thing I would also suggest is having designated time to relax, when you don't have to feel guilty about not studying. The most unhelpful thing (which I have done a lot in the past, and sometimes now) is to sit at your desk with books around you while not studying. This is an awkward state where you aren't being productive or relaxing, which wastes mental energy. At a university seminar, a professor said to us that a "rule" he always followed, even as a senior academic, was not working on Friday or Saturday night. This way, he'd focus during the week, knowing that on the weekend he could have some uninterrupted time to relax and do leisure things. This is a useful principle, and could be something worth trying.

If you don't mind me asking, how have you been managing your depression? Do you have coping strategies, like exercising or talking to someone?

It would be great to hear back from you! 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[SarahLulu]

Hi Zeal,

Thankyou for your reply. I do see the school psychologist every week and she's trying to help me too and I've just moved to the senior school so everyones new but I really like this psychologist which is good.

I did try having like a designated time to relax but I find as my work load is inconsistent sometimes I really need to study etc and it would stress me out even more. I've got to the point where I can no longer study as I get to worked up and no motivation either.

I've been managing my depression by seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist and I'm on medication. I don't like exercising I think the most helpful thing is distraction and being with my pets. When I was in hospital last year they introduced me to the app called smiley minds which is meditation/mindfulness which is a strategy that I use to calm my breath when I'm really anxious.

[Zeal]

Hey Sarah,

It's great that you see the school psychologist every week, and that you see a psych about the depression too.
Exercising is just a strategy some people find helpful. It's not something that helps me either, to be honest. Distractions are great, and pets really can be a great mood-booster. We have a slightly overweight Golden Retriever and an old black and white cat. They are both absolutely adorable.

I've heard great things about Smiling Mind, though I've never actually tried it myself! It's great that you are seeing professionals and have your own coping strategies. You are doing the best you can to work through the anxiety and depression, so good on you!

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Ken1]

Hey Sarah!

Really love the tips that Zeal has provided. Wanted to add in addition something that can be really hard and takes a lot of work but produces phenomenal results - that is self compassion.

When I was in school, I totally misplaced my wellbeing in order to top all my classes, as well as being a Manager at McDonald's. I would not let myself fail because to me, that meant that I was weak.

The thing is, if you feel like you're getting extra stressed, or like you see a potential breakdown in front of you and really want to stay away from it, you've so gotta pay attention to that. Whether you believe it or not, your wellbeing trumps your grades. I have no doubt that you're intelligent enough to achieve the grades you want! Unfortunately though, we are all human and cannot possibly achieve everything - especially when you're also working on managing depression (p.s. congrats for having the courage to work on that!)

My biggest piece of advice is simple. Try to accept that you NEED time out for yourself. Work on doing what Zeal was saying in setting time aside and literally forcing yourself to step away from the study and fill up your tank a little! Stress can run you dry - without renewing yourself, burnout is inevitable.

You also may find that your productivity and school results improve once you give yourself time to renew!

I understand if it's not the fix you're looking for - and maybe there's something else that will work for you. I know that I rewarded myself with my favourite TV show when I needed to chill out. Burnout can hit you 10x harder than a few not so good grades can. You are worth so much more than a grade.

Can I ask - where do you think the most pressure comes from? From yourself? Parents? School? Etc. Your actions can be really different depending on where the pressure is coming from!

Love to hear back from you!

Bonnie

[Andrea_Jayne]

My motto is do the things you live doing at school and theat will lead you to a job that won't feel like hard work. Money is not the main goal in life. Do things that make you happy and you will find you true path. It doesn't matter how long it takes. So what if you fail at some things along the way. They are the things you learn the most from. Thinking of you and so proud you are reaching out to a supportive community.