Severe anxiety.. need suggestions!

[Pink___White]

Hi all,

For a little over two years now I suffered from GAD, panic disorder, social anxiety, slight agoraphobia, and more recently depression. Meanwhile I have been suffering with glue ear and sinusitis, which both trigger my anxiety and amplify symptoms. Because of this, my life has become very constricted. I cannot handle being home alone because two years ago I suffered 3 panic attacks in 3 days and each time I was home alone so this has caused me to avoid being home on my own for two years, which frustrates me because I used to love being home on my own but I cannot bring myself to attempt to stay at home on my own out of fear of a re-occurrence. I also cannot handle being out in public because of my social anxiety which has worsened in the past two years and because of my glue ear, causes me to constantly feel agitated, uncomfortable, and easily overwhelmed. And now, my anxiety is also affecting my university studies. I've just began seeing a psychologist for CBT, and I have recently been given prescription for benzodiazepenes to take when needed.

The reason that I'm writing this thread is because last month while on a two hour car trip I suffered a severe and traumatising panic attack that suffered for around an hour. I now have a wedding to attend next week, which is 10 hours away and will be a 3 day trip. I am very overwhelmed at the thought of the car trip as I cannot handle being in a car, even for short trips to the local shops. I feel claustrophobic/trapped and can't feel car/motion sick. I am also worried about being away from home for 3 days as I suffer from depersonalisation and derealisation, and feel very overwhelmed when experiencing it when in unfamiliar surroundings and increases my anxiety. My other concern is that the wedding will be quite large, and the venue is not very big, and as stated above, I cannot handle public areas, and being around more than a few people, otherwise I become overwhelmed, off balanced, and feel like I'm going crazy/loosing control.

I was hoping there would be someone who has a similar issue, or really just anyone, who can offer me some suggestions to help me handle the long car trip and the wedding.

Thank you for reading, even if I did ramble on or at times might not make sense x

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Pink + White,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling so much with anxiety. It sounds like you've been under a lot of stress especially with this wedding coming up. Anxiety can be incredibly debilitating and unfortunately can seem to hit us anywhere. Having said that though I'm really glad that you're seeing a psychologist.

There are certainly a number of different techniques and strategies to help with anxiety; including but not limited to breathing techniques, muscle relaxation, challenging our thoughts, meditation, exercise and colouring.

I'm guessing that a lot of these are probably familiar to you, so I don't want to echo too much just yet. What sorts of things have you tried? Are you aware of how anxiety works in your body; like how it seems to feel like it's getting worse? What do you do when you start to feel a panic attack coming on?

Getting a better understanding of how much you know about anxiety, what you've tried and where you're at with managing these panic attacks can help find a way to move forward.

[Pink___White]

Hi romantic_thi3f,

Thank you so much for taking time to reply, very much appreciated!

I have exercised almost everyday for the past two years (only 3 days that I haven't done some sort of exercise) . I am beginning to do breathing techniques, muscle relaxation, meditation, and challenging my thoughts, especially since seeing a psychologist, however its still early days. I have done quite a bit of research over the past two years about anxiety, I am aware that anxiety is a false fight/flight response to impending doom, physical or social threats, and that anxiety catastrophizes situations. However, I am have just begun learning more specifically about panic attacks, what happens during to our body, and why it is happening.

It's hard to describe what I do when I feel a panic attack come on because each time its been different and because I don't totally remember much about them because I tend to block the memories out. With the most recent one, however, I was very unwell all day before the car trip with sinusitis and glue ear, so I was already quite anxious, off balance, with a lot of facial/head pain. Although, I have noticed that a reoccurring theme before each is that I have a strong feeling something is off, that I feel off/different to normal (well not normal, but what I have accustomed to live with as normal). Then I guess my mind begins to overreact and I become more aware of the physical symptoms associated with an attack, and then I enter a panic attack.

Hopefully this provides some helpful information.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Pink + White,

Thanks for your post.

It sounds like you know - and most importantly, understand why this is happening and some of the techniques to help. Often on these anxiety threads we tell people to 'breathe' but it can feel cliche at times as people don't always see how important that is or how easily their breathing can go a bit haywire.

How long have you been practicing these techniques for? Is there any that feel particularly easier or harder than others? Over time the more you practice the easier it becomes.

One thing that I find helpful is trying to practice these things when you're feeling fine and not anxious at all; just trying to take a moment to centre yourself a little bit; maybe that's through breathing, or muscle exercises, or meditation (or all of them). The more that you can get used to that practice when you aren't anxious the easier it will become to do it when you are.

In anxiety our mind tends to jump to the worst case scenario, however likely or unlikely it might be to happen. So far, the worst case scenario for you has been having a panic attack; which sounds like it was exhausting. But you were still okay; you still survived it and it passed. It also sounds like you're worried about the wedding;- what can make that easier? Is there anything practical that you can put in place now? For example, when you first get to the wedding have a look around and see what might be a good place to go that's a bit less crowded so that can be your own safe space, or tell a couple of people that you trust so that they can look out for you and/or help you in the way that you need. Sometimes it can also help to have breaks before you need them; so ever hour or two just distance yourself for some fresh air so that it doesn't feel too overwhelming.

Another thing that might be helpful is grounding exercises; this one particularly helps with depersonalisation too. Focus on your feet on the floor and try to notice what you can see, hear, smell, feel and taste. Not just the obvious things either. For me right now I'm at home, and if I really listen I can hear the neighbours gate, birds in the sky etc. There may also be something you want to bring that can help you feel grounded; whether that's a bracelet you can play with, perfume that takes you back to somewhere safe or even just a photo that reminds you of a good time you had.

Hopefully this helps!​

[Pink___White]

Hi,

Sorry for the late reply! I have been practicing the breathing techniques casually the past two years, but since my first appointment with my psychologist a few weeks ago I have been doing various breathing techniques and have been practicing daily - although I have trouble breathing through my nose lately so I try to put extra focus on this technique, because it can fuel my panic (as I discovered a few days ago). The others, mostly have begun since seeing my psychologist, but the one I suppose I struggle with the most is meditation because after having such severe anxiety for the past two years its hard to adjust to the feeling of being relaxed, etc. after meditating.

I do have quite a few family members that are aware of my situation and how nervous I am about the wedding, so I will have people look out for me. And I have explained to them what happens during a panic attack and why to give them some type of understanding of what I can experience so that they're are aware. Thank you for the advice about taking breaks and finding a safe area, it is very helpful and I will definitely do that. I had been very stressed about the wedding, and for a little bit reached a place of accepting the trip and not feeling as stressed, but however since it is so close now my nerves and stress have begun to resurface today.

Also thank you for the grounding exercise example, I suffer from a lot of balance issues between my anxiety and inner ear issues, which play a big part in my experiences with depersonalisation, so I like hearing about such exercises to help with depersonalisation and desensitisation. I have heard of that particular exercise in the early stages of my anxiety, but sometimes didn't feel like it helped and I think now because I would focus primarily on obvious things and didn't challenge myself or my senses. And besides the fear of panic attacks, depersonalisation and desensitisation are two other triggers that contribute to having panic attacks, because you feel out of control.

Thank you again, I really appreciate your responses x

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Pink + White,

Thank you for your post.

I'm really glad that you've been still seeing the psychologist and it sounds like you've implemented lots of different techniques!

I'm sorry that you have nose and inner ear issues! I can imagine that it would definitely make things a bit trickier. Certainly a lot of the breathing exercises is focused on breathing in through the nose, but breathing in through the mouth still does work. One of the things I do is count and this can help me slow it down; but other times using affirmations help too; saying one thing as you breathe in and another as you breathe out.

Meditation is definitely a struggle too. The good thing about it though is that there aren't really any rules. It's kind of portrayed as sitting on the floor in weird poses, but when you're just focusing on your breathing - that's meditation! I think it was Eckhart Tolle who said one conscious breath - in and out- is meditation.

You mentioned in you post that you focused on obvious things; what were you focusing on?

I can relate a lot to the feeling of out of control too. Another thing that I've heard is using affirmations to help calm your system; people often say "I am safe" but this isn't always helpful because at that time they don't feel or believe that they are safe. The technique is to say things that you know for sure; like I have food in my belly. I am hydrated. I can feel my feet on the ground. I can feel my bum on the chair. I have shelter. I am warm enough. I can see my friend just there. These are things you know and you know for sure. It sounds incredibly silly but it is science! Basically when our bodies go into these panic response it forgets all these things. I've used them myself before and it has helped me, so it might be worth a try.

Oh- also I'm so glad the other things I said were helpful, it means a lot to hear that and thank you 🙂

[Pink___White]

Hi,

Yes seeing a psychologist has been very beneficial in helping me implement various techniques to my everyday life, to help prepare for situations where needed.

Unfortunately, the inner ear and nose issues seem to amplify my anxiety. I have discussed with my psychologist above my issues with breathing through the nose and they said that breathing through the nose is best, but if need be to breath through mt mouth. I also like to increase my exercise and try to practice breathing through the nose and counting in three and out three while my adrenaline is up, which is difficult, particularly breathing out for three, but seems to be improving slightly each time. In addition, I have read, and been told by my psychologist, that trying to breath out longer than breathing in is very beneficial because its more calming, whereas breathing in usually makes us feel more on guard.

I have tried both yoga and more recently incorporating meditation that focuses on breathing. It is definitely something that I have to practice more of to get my head around. But I suppose being stressed and on guard almost constantly for two years, it won't be immediate to be able to relax through meditation without feeling strange and as if something is off afterwards.

I suppose when saying I focus on obvious thing, I tend not to really think about it and allow myself to really examine what is surrounding me and challenging my senses. I guess I used to do it because I read it helped, but didn't really challenge myself and that's why I wasn't seeing a result.

I often tend to say to myself "I am in control of my body and in control of my mind. Medications are a temporary solution, hospitals are there if necessary but they cannot do more for me than I can do for myself. I am physically healthy, as proven by recent tests and scans. etc.". I will definitely incorporate those suggestions, they definitely seem very obvious, but when you're caught up in your anxiety such simple things tend to slip your mind.

It's great having another person to discuss with, particularly someone who experiences similar situations and can offer techniques that they have tried and know works. You're a wonderful person, and I look forward to reading your responses x

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Pink + White,

Thanks for your post.

I'm glad the psychologist has been so helpful and it sounds like they've been trying to work around the inner ear and nose issues. How long have you been seeing him or her?

I can relate with struggling with meditation. This is something that I tend to preach a lot but don't always do! Do you use any apps or tools to help you? Are yours regular or just when you feel stressed? I've heard that doing them consistently can help; as trying to do things only when you're stressed can often feel too overwhelming.

That's such a powerful affirmation! I really like that. I especially love the bit where you said - they cannot do more for me than I can do for myself; that is showing so much power and control. Love it.

I pretty want to applaud you on being open to so many things like yoga, breathing exercises and meditation. So often people think that it's 'too weird' or 'hippy-like' or try it once and it doesn't do anything for them. It takes a lot of strength to keep doing things that may not feel like it's helping straight away. I hope that you're really proud of how far you've come, because I know I see a lot of strength in you.

Thank you for your kind words; they mean so much to me and I really appreciate it! You are a wonderful person as well.

[Pink___White]

Hi romantic_thi3f,

I have been seeing my psychologist for around a month now, yes she has been working around my nose and ears issues and believes that my stress and anxiety has a role in my issues.

I think the reason I find meditation so difficult is because it relies on you becoming relaxed which tends to feel un-natural. I use meditation CDs given from my psychologist, along with apps and youtube videos. I do try to do it every night around the same time and although I struggle with them, I have noticed how they've helped me.

Thank you again for the great advice and lovely words, the weekend away and the wedding were a big success, I had a great time and I did not have a panic attack! I got anxious a few times and felt some of the physical symptoms starting to arise but focused on what I had learned from the various techniques and immediately challenge any negative thoughts. The times where I got anxious were really when I was a bit nervous and excited for the wedding, so I reminded myself that it was normal to feel like that.

I also loved your advice about finding a "safe place" at the venue, although it was quite a small venue and a lot of people, when I became overwhelmed with the noise and felt crowded I would go for a walk to this area which had an amazing view for a few minutes to recollect myself and have some time out. It also helped that all of my family members would check on me throughout the trip and remind me how well I was doing. I think the trip away really helped me realise how far I've come and how much seeing a psychologist has helped, even if its only been a month. And more so, how much I over-analyzed everything and spend too much time "in my head" and that avoiding things were doing more harm than good.

Thank you so much, again. Its great to meet lovely people like you on this forum.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Pink + White,

Thanks for your post.

YAY!! I'm so glad that the wedding went well for you! Sounds like it was better than what you expected, and having no panic attacks is awesome! I actually jumped up and down in my chair because I'm so happy it all went okay.

I'm really glad that you've been using all these techniques like checking your thoughts and telling your support people and being aware but non-judgemental. I'm also glad that the meditation CD's are helping even if it does seem like slow progress!

I was just looking back at your first posts here and there's such a huge jump going from 3 panic attacks in 3 days and then a panic attack lasting an hour and to this - a wedding - very uncomfortable situation which you handled so well. I'm trying to really emphasise this because we never really know when a panic attack will happen as they can seem to come on out of nowhere; so knowing and being reminded of all the difficult situations that you've faced before can help give you strength for the future.

oh- and you're so welcome, that's what we're here for.