Problems through life.

[xXWolf_LoverXx]

When I was a kid things seemed happy all the time. Now I feel like as a kid my parents hid all the scary things away from me so I could only see good. When I was around 10 I started noticing my parents arguing. My parents started fighting and at one point my mum kicked my dad out. At first I didn't really notice because after my dad kissed me goodnight he would go to the lounge and wait until I was asleep before he got out of the house and sleep in the car. I only first knew when I woke up early one morning. I left my brush in the car so I ran out to get it and there was a pillow in the back of the car. My dad still doesn't have a home. Right now he sleeps in the shed at the back of the garden. When I was in grade 2 at school, this new girl joined. I won't say her real name for identity purposes, so I will call her Tanya. So Tanya joined around year 2. We spent most of our weekends together. I thought we had a friendship. Then she was stranger. She started acting strange around me. And my other friends were avoiding me. one time Tanya approached us when we were sitting down so my friend and I just ignored her when Tanya asked to chat privately with my friend. So they went off and chat then came back and Tanya walked off. I asked, "what she say?". My friend replied saying that Tanya said nasty untrue things about me. I instantly thought, 'so that's why my only friends avoid me.'. So all my years through school just got worse. Through being punched to bones breaking. But One year. I was in grade 6. We were graduation to high school an some kids were leaving. Thankfully, Tanya was one of the kids who were leaving. So on the last day, I had fake tears and everything. I thought, 'finally! I won't be punched anymore.' I was wrong. About a year later this app called KiK came in fashion. Everyone in the class had it. And so it turned out Tanya had it too. So we made one group chat of all the people in the class. So someone decided to add Tanya. From there everyone was cool and we chat. So I decided to meet Tanya at a cafe to Catch up. When we were there she said follow me. And she led me to an alley and punched me.

[Guest_1055]

Hello, it almost bought tears to my eyes, your story about what is happening to you. I'm so so sorry. I am sending out a hug to you. I am unsure of what else to say. Only that I care about you. Hope you will be OK.

With much love

Shelley xx

[white knight]

Hi and welcome

Life is cruel and people can be cruel. What is important is that we find ways to "move on" which comes natural for some, unnatural for others.

For those that cant move on we need to learn how, to develop strategies so these cruel acts don't take up anymore space in our minds...replaced with happy moments. That weighing scale it crucial to a content life and once activated when the tipping of the seesaw begins, will enhance your life. How do we do that? Well practice makes perfect.

In your case with this bully your first step is to learn that lessen of not allowing cruel people back in your life. "A leopard doesn't lose their spots". The second step is to attend motivation lectures or read books or Google articles on positive thinking. This will develop over time as you search for positives out of negatives everyday of your life. The third step is to flood your life with activities that are a benefit to yourself. Hobbies are great especially those that get you "in the zone" of creativity like painting, decorating or home made jewellery and so on. This has a side effect....they develop the inner creative side to you and are confidence building.

Finally....time. Time heals many things. Sure there are events like this bullying one that will stick with you forever. But you must accept that these memories are unavoidable.

My other concern is your dad. Your importance to him cant be underestimated. As you grow older there will be things you can do to help him. Parents sometimes cannot find answers to their own problems and their lack of chemistry becomes a toxic atmosphere where there are no answers to their issues. Sometimes a shed, which is a roof over his head, is the best remedy. He might be happier there than inside. Keep talking to him, comfort him, let him always know you are there for him as a loving daughter.

If I was him that would be my greatest diamond in my mind- you.

Tony WK

[pipsy]

Dear xXWolf_LoverXx.  You poor thing, with all the turmoil in your private life, you don't need this 'crap' as well.  I'm afraid when it comes to 'school bullies' one thing stands out.  They are usually extremely lonely.  Some of them come from really bad home life situations.  I'm not saying that's an excuse, they don't know how to relate 'one on one' without resorting to 'stand over' tactics.  Unfortunately, bullies come in all walks of life.  Your 'friend', I would say is jealous of your popularity, so she does her best to 'turn' your friends against you.  It would be so easy for you to retaliate, however is sinking to her level, really you?  Try and avoid being in situations where she can assault you.  I think Tony has the right idea too.  Try building a relationship with your dad (obviously you love him a great deal).  Put him first so that if this other person tries to trick you, all you need to say, truthfully, is, I can't talk to you.  She will still try to undermine you, learn strategies for 'turning the other cheek'.  When she see she's not 'getting' to you, she will back off.  I wouldn't mention it to others, this is classed as gossip and not really the done thing.  Let others find out for themselves what she's like.  I'm afraid, as Tony say, she won't take long to pounce on another unsuspecting victim.  As you venture out into the world, you'll meet many bullies.  They are unfortunately, a fact of life.