Obsessive food related anxiety?

[lilybee]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I don't know where else to go and I'm getting really worked up about it. I have generalised anxiety disorder and it seems to "latch onto" something every few months. Since about christmas of last year, I've felt chubby and gross. I've been obsessing over looking at my stomach in the mirror, or the flab on my arms, or the fat on my thighs. I tried a calorie counting app for about two weeks, but I got too obsessed so I deleted it before it got any worse. I'm a healthy weight supposedly, my doctor confirmed what everyone tells me, but I hate seeing my stomach grow through the day, even though it's perfectly natural. I keep seeing all these girls with flat stomachs and toned arms, and I know that they live in the gym and watch what they eat because that's what they like, but I can't help but chew myself out for not being like them. I feel gross and I'm just not sure how to get over this thought habit? I've tried telling myself over and over that I'm fine, but I feel like I'm lying to myself.

Sorry for the word vomit, I can't find an eloquent way to say it. Any advice would be so good, I just want to feel normal-ish again.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Lilybee,

A kind welcome to the forums 🙂 Yes, in my opinion, this is definitely the “right” place for you to be...

You seem very hard on yourself at the moment. It must make you feel very insecure when you compare your own body to other women’s bodies...not because there is anything wrong with yours but sometimes I feel we can be very self critical.

I wonder if you might consider moving your mirror elsewhere/storing it away (e.g. in the garage) to make it less accessible to you, which will hopefully stop you from checking your reflection that seems to feed into your inner critic.

I realise it can be very hard not to compare our own bodies to others’ bodies. But I wonder if maybe you could try to catch yourself comparing then try to figure out what it’s really about e.g. is it really about her toned arms or is there something more going on, such as, how you just don’t feel comfortable in your own skin or think maybe she has her life “together” because of her physique?

Sorry, I’m not saying that’s necessarily the case...I was just using an example because I feel if we can get to the root cause of an insecurity, sometimes it can help a person look at things from a fresh perspective.

Otherwise, perhaps consider looking up a renowned national organisation, The Butterfly Foundation, which specialises in body image and other related issues. They have a helpline plus a range of other services and are fairly easy to find online.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey lilybee,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

Damn, why is so relatable! This is absolutely something that can be talked about here. Self-esteem and body image issues are real. I'm sorry that you are struggling with this but I am so glad that you deleted that calorie counting app - for me that shows so much compassion for yourself!

I'm wondering while reading your post how much of these thoughts show up during the day and how much of these thoughts show up when you see these girls with flat stomachs/toned arms? Is it these girls that are the biggest trigger?

A big part of feeling normal-ish is being able to accept where you're at. This negative self talk is so not fine. Have you ever tried to question with it? Reason with it? What would it mean for you to look like these girls with flat stomachs?

Personally, when I have these thoughts arise, these are some of the things I try to say to myself (easier said than done sometimes) -

- I try and remind myself that a lot of these images aren't reality. They are photoshopped beyond belief, used with flattering light angles and fancy filters.

- I try to point out things about my body that I like. My bigger stronger legs means that I can probably hike more than some of these skinny people because I have more muscle. As it is, your body can do awesome things.

- I try to challenge the beliefs by saying that it doesn't change how worthy I am. For me personally, that's where it comes from, just like with Pepper's answer (Peppermintbach).

- I try and explore what it might be like if it were true. Let's say your Doctor said that you were obese - what might that change? Would you suddenly not be a good person; a kind/funny/caring one? No matter what size you are, your body still deserves love.

I hope this helps a little! Also if you're interested in checking out more resources you can try here -

https://www.mcgill.ca/counselling/files/counselling/ways_to_improve_body_image_0.pdf (p3)

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/2%200910%20Challenging%20Thoughts2.pdf (p4)

Sorry for the long post 🙂